Fug or Fab

Well, at least Katherine Heigl has that face. Because no matter how enamored, ambivalent, or indecisive I am about her wardrobe, there is no disputing that her genes are enviable. I mean, she wore a bald cap and a scarf for most of Grey's Anatomy's late-season episodes, and managed to be radiant. The woman doesn't even NEED HAIR to look beautiful. That's just not fair to the rest of us.

I'm not sure I can be as nice about this dress, though:

89598438.jpg

At first, I rather liked it -- there's something appealingly retro about it, as if she's about to go talking it up on The Barry Gibb Talk Show (indeed, I would love to hear her thoughts on crazy gold medallions) before busting out some "Night Fever" dance moves as Gerard Butler sashays around her in white bellbottoms.

But then, gripped with writer's block, I kept staring at it. And "appealingly retro" turned into "my Aunt Ethel dug this out of her closet and wore this to Christmas Mass because she decided she'd been single long enough." You know how much I love when celebs wear bold shades, so it pains me to say this, but the medium-green sequins ended up reeking a bit more of fromage  -- or Ben Gay -- than I expected. And then I noticed that the huge sleeve seems like it's tucked into the waist ribbon; that the bodice kind of makes her chest look droopy in a way that it most assuredly is not; and that the hem hits her leg in an awkward spot. For me it's hot-adjacent, but somehow not quite all the way there.

[Sidebar: Is it just me, or is her hair reddish now? I usually love redheads in green. Maybe I'm not sure I love Katherine as a redhead. Something to ponder, since fairly recently I thought I liked her better with darker hair. Clearly I do not know my own mind.]

I'd be curious to see this in a different color -- a metallic, perhaps, or maybe a dark red -- hemmed about two inches higher, with her (blonde again, I think) hair flowing loose around her face to offset the Eau d' Aunt Ethel that's shrouding this for me.

What would you do? Have at it in the comments, and remember to keep it on-topic, keep it friendly, and keep your hands out of the disposal.
August 6, 2009

Fug-Fug (or Fab) Pow

77760131.jpg

FERGIE: Hey, look! I changed back my hair! I wonder when I did that.

ARMANI: I have ALSO changed something!!!!

FERGIE: You changed what dress you were giving me, I know that much. Didn't we discuss one that had a waist?

ARMANI: We did!!! But I decided I would rather you looked like a very large bridal handbag!!!

FERGIE: Yeah, well, mission accomplished.

ARMANI: You could keep your groom in there!!!!!!

FERGIE: Also, I think maybe someone was drunk when they hemmed this thing. 

ARMANI: It was probably ME!!!!!

FERGIE: Or am I just wearing it crooked? God, it's like I'm ten years old and am trying to turn one of my mother's fancy skirts into a dress by yanking it up to my armpits.

ARMANI: We do not say the word "armpits" in high-fashion.

FERGIE: Sorry.

ARMANI: It's okay!!!! You still haven't guessed what's new with ME!!

FERGIE: Um. New... enthusiasm?

ARMANI: New bronzer formula!! I switched from 'Rich Mocha Sunset' to 'Toast Surprise'!!!

FERGIE: That's great. Knowing that will REALLY make me feel better if this skirt moves at ALL and the world realizes I'm wearing my laundry-day panties.

ARMANI: I think you look hot!!!

FERGIE: Strangely, so do I. My feelings are so confusing.

GlamCover_09-09_SM.jpg
[Photo: Glamour Magazine]
[The photo isn't loading for a small portion of you, so if you're one of those few, you can also see it here.]

First of all: this poor girl. PLEASE please tell me that she has potentially FINALLY learned NEVER ever EVER ever to speak to the press about her love life. Every single time she's slated to appear on the cover of a magazine, she breaks up with her current paramour a week before it hits newsstands all full of woozy lovestruck quotes about how Nick/John/John/Tony/Tony has truly made her complete as a woman. And then we all feel so awkward and cringey.

Now, this cover. Regardless of the fact that I think they've Photoshopped some weight off her -- needlessly, because I feel like it might do the People of the World some good to see celebrities on magazine covers looking the way they actually do in real life -- and I'm not actually entirely sure that they haven't just plonked her head on top of someone else's body, I think this cover is actually pretty good. For one thing, I love her outfit -- I really love that jacket with the jeans - and it's just a huge relief to see her smiling rather than whipping out that godforsaken open-mouthed fish face she make so often. And, according to my jeans, I kind of need the three tips for a flat belly.

On the other hand, the eyeliner....Convince me:


I hope it goes without saying that we are super-stoked for the return of Melrose Place.

89586901.jpg

Even if it's terrible, it will be entertaining and it's returning Michael Mancini to us. Not to mention the fact that it's forcing Ashlee Simpson to leave the house again. I've missed her. Sort of. No, I haven't. That was a total lie. I never even think about Ashlee Simpson at all, unless one of her embarassingly catchy songs comes on my iPod.  But, regardless, she's BACK! And now we can talk about her outfits again. Like this one. I both like it, and believe she looks like the upstairs maid in a weird PBS remake of Upstairs, Downstairs that somehow involves an S&M den.

 
Full disclosure: Mostly, I love this.

89537325.jpg

Cate Blanchett is just so striking, and this dress is a perfect example of something that is all about context. On some CW starlet it might just look like she's trying to be a more cheerful version of Mary-Kate Olsen; on Emma Watson, I would wonder if she'd stolen the official witch's robe of the Hogwarts sex-ed teacher; on Liza Minnelli I would fear she had fallen into the orchestra pit and banged her head on a tuba, because there are no sequins here; on Michey Rourke, I would probably applaud, because it's a huge upgrade. You get the idea. Cate looks graceful, relaxed, and radiant, not to mention she bested many others -- like her countrywoman Melissa George -- by resisting the urge to wear a searing crimson lipstick to match. Lovely.

But. BUT. The shoes. It falls apart for me with the shoes. They are not only a different red, but they are officially too MUCH red. I feel a bit like I'm in a bad movie, where I'm driving along celebrating the glories of pretty things and then all of a sudden it appears road stops and I have to hit the brakes or else I will plunge into a rocky abyss, and I skid to a halt with one tire spinning off the road and my car wobbling precariously on the edge of the cliff. So, while I collect myself and vomit into the glove compartment at my near-death experience, you make the call.

So help me out here:

Sometimes I like to just post these and make you vote without saying ANYTHING that could possibly bias you to vote either with or against me.

89463282.jpg

So I will just state a fact -- that C. Sev's legs are SERIOUSLY GREAT and her trainer needs to write a book -- and open your polling place:

sept09cover.jpg

So, as I think I've said before, I kind of totally love Teen Vogue. For one thing, I love its handy size. It fits right in my purse. (Well, my purse is huge. I could fit the OED in there. But TV fits inside it EASILY.) It's always a treat to flip though on a plane. And I like that they haven't tried to tamp down Taylor Momsen's....Momsenness. I mean, say what you will about her look -- and we have -- she certainly does have her own style and it's nice that they're attempting to working with it. Giving her some kind of wholesome fluffy look would probably be about as successful as trying to shove a grapefruit through the eye of a needle, so props for not even trying. I love her trench. And I honestly think the styling here is pretty great. But...let's talk about her makeup. MUST even TEEN FREAKING VOGUE leap on Momsen's I Just Woke Up From A TOTAL Bender Wearing Heavy Eye Makeup AND Red Lipstick look? Could they not go the old Jane route and give the poor kid a mild make-under? Just a small one? A teeny one? A tiny one? One that she would barely even notice? Couldn't they even just try? I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO WASH HER FACE A LITTLE BIT. Not even the whole face. Just part of the face. The lips. Or the eyes. Or ONE eye, even. Or just her lower lip. Do something, Teen Vogue. Do anything. Don't be part of the problem.

July 28, 2009

Fug or Fab: Eva Mendes

On one hand: how charming! How garden party! How Betty Draper before you realize that beneath her shiny veneer roils a boiling vat of frustrated, tragic desperation that I have long feared will end with someone's head in an oven!

89255025.jpg

On the other hand: must those flowers be SO symmetrical that they -- to rapidly switch metaphorical gears -- somehow manage to remind of me of the scene in Sleeping With the Enemy where Julia comes home to find....HER CANNED GOODS ARE ALPHABETIZED!!!! and therefore she's about to get murdered? Some things should be haphazard, and floral prints and canned yams are two of them.

Okay, Diane. I see where you were going here.

spl115265_035.jpg
[Photo: Splash News]

It's a little black dress, very girly, paired with some cute shoes and your favorite accessory: your legs. (Well, second-favorite; we're pretty sure Pacey is her first choice of adornment with any outfit, and that's as it should be. If Intern George ever quits -- PERISH THE THOUGHT -- Pacey just might have a place here with us.)

Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes, D.Krugs: I just don't know. The twee tutu-ruffle around her hips looked, at first, like her pockets are inside-out, as if she'd been frisked on her way in and not put back together properly. This led my mind on a long and winding path to the movie Clue, whereupon I decided Diane's look here is one part Yvette, one part Mrs. White (please God, not the part where she offs her gentlemen friends), and one part that moment where Wadsworth says, "The gun is missing. Gentlemen, turn out your pockets. Ladies, empty your purses. Whoever's got the gun... IS THE MURDERER."

All that stuff, of course, is awesome. But as a fashion statement? On a day that's NOT  Halloween, nor a local showing of Clue in which a group of players re-enacts it in front of the screen while the audience interacts Rocky Horror-style and shows up in costume (yes, such a thing DOES exist and I've been, and it rules, and I really regret not arriving in a Mrs. White wig)? I'm not sure.

I would keep all the accessories and start over on the dress -- specifically, lopping off the tutu, and adjusting the sweetheart neckline, which doesn't quite look as though it properly fits. Then, maybe some lipstick that's less of a cousin to that whole baby-pink trend. And I'd for sure adjust her hair, because as it is, the greased-back-but-flowy thing just makes her look like she's trying to approximate a mullet. No no, Diane. One cannot go half-hearted with a mullet. You go big or go home.

What would YOU change, if anything? Discuss it in the comments. The usual rules apply: no in-fighting, no back-biting, no arm-wrestling, no using anyone's face as dust rag, etc. 
heiglinstyle.jpg

Katherine Heigl? Pretty. The dress? Pretty. This picture? Pretty...AWKWARD. AM I RIGHT, LADIES? THANKS EVERYONE, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!


Search

Fug Favorites


Featured Fugger

Bai Ling

The Book of fug

A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.

Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!

Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!

Subscribe to GFY

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner