There's been a lot of brouhaha over Harper's Bazaar appearing to Photoshop Halle Berry on its cover. And I get reacting to that with an eye roll and an "Oh, gee, what a shock that people use PHOTOSHOP," because we all know magazines want to sell copies, and what most people actually look like isn't going to do it. If anyone were stupid enough to put me on a magazine cover, I would probably put a "Please Photoshop my face" clause right at the top of my contract.
No, what's MORE interesting to me is that whatever Harper's did or didn't do, it yielded a cover of Halle Berry that's mind-bendingly awful.
Let's set aside for a second the fact that the ENTIRE thing is the color of a sunburn and makes me want to go bathe in aloe. Why would you want a cover of one of the world's hottest women, only to pick one in which she looks like a very cheap Halle Berry impersonator wearing a Jaclyn Smith wig she picked up from K-Mart? What's next? Photographing Angelina Jolie in a full mask? Putting a wig on a stick and calling it Nicole Kidman?
With any luck, by the time that happens, I'll already have gone blind from staring at this cover too long. It's like gazing directly at the sun. Everywhere I look now, I see angry all-caps words screaming at me from hot-pink backgrounds. Pray for me. And SAVE YOURSELVES.
No, what's MORE interesting to me is that whatever Harper's did or didn't do, it yielded a cover of Halle Berry that's mind-bendingly awful.
Let's set aside for a second the fact that the ENTIRE thing is the color of a sunburn and makes me want to go bathe in aloe. Why would you want a cover of one of the world's hottest women, only to pick one in which she looks like a very cheap Halle Berry impersonator wearing a Jaclyn Smith wig she picked up from K-Mart? What's next? Photographing Angelina Jolie in a full mask? Putting a wig on a stick and calling it Nicole Kidman?
With any luck, by the time that happens, I'll already have gone blind from staring at this cover too long. It's like gazing directly at the sun. Everywhere I look now, I see angry all-caps words screaming at me from hot-pink backgrounds. Pray for me. And SAVE YOURSELVES.
