Fugs and Pieces

November 20, 2009

Fugs and Pieces: November 20

FRIDAY AGAIN! Nice how that happens every week, isn't it? That means it's time for our weekly round-up of the web's most stellar procrastinatory material. Start slacking, readers:

-- This flow chart, designed to help you determine which fast-food establishment you need to go to, depending on your circumstances (drunk? Drunk on malt liquor?) is GENIUS. (Grub Street)

-- Also genius? Lainey introduced us to this video of "Tom Cruise" auditioning for Twilight. That movie is a gift that just keeps on giving. (Lainey Gossip)

-- This dude recreated Pam Am's first-class cabin in his garage, complete with spiral staircase. It's both a wee bit crazy and also kind of awesome and I don't mind admitting that I want to go over there and have a drink. (Wall Street Journal)

-- Any designer who decides that the best way to market her clothing is by using the "Take That" scene from Teen Witch is okay by me. (Fashionista)

-- Christina Kelly -- who I must believe is the same Christina Kelly who wrote for Sassy, and whom I IDOLIZED as a teen reader -- wrote a truly enlightening/gross/hilarious piece about what really happens at urinals. Seriously, it's good stuff. (Vice)

-- Is it wrong that one of my favorite things about the holidays are gift guides? I LOVE THEM. NY Mag did a HUGE one this week. (NY Mag)

-- I wholly reject the concept of releasing a remix of "All I Want for Christmas," speaking of things I love about the holidays. That song, like Bridget Jones, is perfect just as it is. (PopWrap)

-- This promo for Nine makes me believe that the movie is either going to rock my world, or it's going to be TERRRRRRIBLE. Why so much Kate Hudson, guys? Seriously. (Lainey Gossip)

-- And, finally, and just in time for our weekends, Jason Segel gives out his phone number and beseeches the ladies to call him...in song. HANG TIGHT, JASON, I'M ON MY WAY. (Pop Candy)

November 13, 2009

Fugs and Pieces: Friday, November 13

Happy Friday, guys! Here's hoping your Friday the 13th is refreshingly free of Jason Voorhees and his hockey mask. Without further ado, here's this week's round-up of interesting bits and pieces designed to help you while away the last few hours at the office:

-- This week, Sesame Street turned 40. I can't imagine growing up in a world without Oscar the Grouch, my personal hero. Or the Count, obviously. Or Bert and Ernie, duh. I love Bert and Ernie. Well, and Big Bird. Who doesn't love Big Bird? People who are evil. And Grover. I LOVE Grover. And obviously Cookie Monster! And... well, we could be here all week, honestly, if I don't stop this now. (LA Times)

-- Speaking of Sesame Street, the National Post created this amazing piece featuring 101 of the show's characters, and their mini-bios. It's awesome. (National Post)

--- And of course, if you've never seen this video, in which Bert and Ernie try gangsta rap, you have not fully lived. It's some impressive-ass editing. (YouTube)

-- We're not sure we agree with every pick listed in "15 Literary Characters We'd Sleep With," particularly Holden Caulfield (yawn), Ned Nickerson (neutered), Carlisle Cullen (vampire; reason Edward exists to torment people with his stalkerdouchery), Gilbert Blythe (I know the Anne of Green Gables movies and books by heart, and while I cherish him, I just can't tap that, I'm sorry) -- but it's totally entertaining to discuss it. And think about it. And then discuss it some more. Seriously, NED NICKERSON? He's no better than a Ken doll. (Lemondrop.com)

-- SWEET. Turns out chocolate milk is good for you. I TOLD YOU, MOM! (The New York Times)

-- Speaking of chocolate milk, Lucky Magazine's gift guide devoted to presents that also benefit worthy causes features chocolate chip cookies. Cookies for charity? We're in. (Lucky Magazine)

-- We TOLD YOU Lady Gaga would wear those wacky McQueen hooves -- which she does, in her Bad Romance video. We love being right. Also, this video is batshit crazy. You should probably watch it. (Buzzfeed)

-- You might want one of these Mad Men t-shirts. (Don't look at those if you haven't seen this season's finale yet. Also, go watch the finale now. Seriously.) (Spread Shirt)

-- Unsurprisingly, the blog Chris March is writing about Project Runway for Lifetime is hilarious. (Lifetime)

-- WHY IS CARINE ROITFELD PANTSLESS? STOP THE MADNESS. (Refinery 29)

-- New York magazine has a great piece on why NBC is such a sinking ship right now. In a particularly good zinger, Mark Harris notes that if Jay Leno didn't kill the network, he's at least participating in an assisted suicide. A juicy read indeed. (NYMag.com)

-- I pray to the gods that you have viewed the full promo for James Franco's General Hospital debut, but if you haven't: DO IT. And even if you have, you might need to see it again. I may have clapped with glee when I saw it. (SoapNet)

-- And finally, an oldie but a goodie: What if When Harry Met Sally were...A STALKER HORROR MOVIE? Behold the trailer after the jump:

Continue reading Fugs and Pieces: Friday, November 13.

November 6, 2009

Fugs and Pieces: Friday, November 6th

-- Busy Phillips called Chad Michael Murray "a douche" at the Paley Festival's Dawson's Creek event. The account of the ensuing attempts of James Van Der Beek to kinda-sorta-not-really defend The Chad is hysterical. Oh, CMM. You squinty, squinty douche.[Zap2It]

-- This is a fascinating account of Nicolas Cage's compulsive spending: 'Three people who visited his house also report seeing shrunken heads. None is sure whether they were actual people's heads (which are illegal to import) or simply those of animals (which generally are not). Still, one thing was for certain. "They were pretty weird," says a source.' Also, the art on that first page really ought to be the next National Treasure movie poster. [The Daily Beast]

-- How is it possible that Dakota Fanning has grown up as an insanely respected child actress AND a totally normal kid who is also completely adorable? I mean, if you are a movie star and the potentially jealous fools at your high school STILL vote you Homecoming Princess, then you must be doing something right. [JustJared]

-- Who do we think is going to wear these Alexander McQueen shoes first? My vote is Lady Gaga, although she might have to wrestle them from Jennifer Lopez's greedy claws. [Vogue]

-- But it is REALLY a reality show based on The Cutting Edge if nobody is doing the pamchenko? [PopWatch]

-- Stephen Colbert wants to save the U.S. Olympic Speed Skating team by raising enough cash to sponsor it. People can donate by clicking here. We love you, Stephen. Also, you'd raise a lot more money if you promised to wear the unitard on-air. Trust us. We're fashion bloggers. [Time.com and USSpeedskating.org]

-- We did an interview for Lifetime's Web site, and then we picked a couple celebrity looks we like that are themed by People Whose Legs Remind Us We Really Need To Unplug The Laptop And Work Out Sometime. [MyLifetime.com]

-- And after the jump, a video clip that I hope will make your life, as it did mine:

Continue reading Fugs and Pieces: Friday, November 6th.

October 30, 2009

Fugs and Pieces: Friday, Oct. 30

-- Just in case you were wondering, yes, Scientology IS experiencing a little extra hateration lately. (Yahoo)

-- Hamish Bowles wrote a piece for this month's Vogue about some Outward Bound-y camping trip thingy Anna forced him to do. The article is a fun read -- it actually kind of reminds me of a piece in Sassy like a hundred years ago where one of the writers (Christina Kelly, maybe) went on a similarly Outward Bound-y trip and realized that she was going to bond with a fellow adventurer when she saw her putting on lipstick with a brush. WHY DIDN'T I SAVE MY SASSY MAGAZINES? Anyway, this was entertaining, if only for the moment where you realize Anna is wholly unconcerned about Hamish perishing in the wild. (Style.com)

-- The London Times profiles Lilo. It's depressing. Someone force this girl to live in a yurt for six months or something. (The London Times)

-- Everyone hearts Ivanka's wedding dress. (Parenthetically, can we just say that The Donald and Ivana clearly did something right, because the Trump offspring are the like anti-Hiltons? THANK GOD.) (NYMag.com)

-- Oh my god, you guys. Tuesday is NATIONAL SANDWICH DAY. You know how we feel about sandwiches. Lemondrop is currently running a contest to determine America's greatest sandwich. Vote early, vote often. (Lemondrop)

-- This picture will please you. If you're not some Sesame Street-hating FREAK, that is. (Popwrap)

-- It's comforting that Amanda Woodward's hair still has her classic dark roots and needs a wee touch of anti-frizz. She has no time for anti-frizz and root touch-uppery. SHE'S BUSY KICKING YOUR ASS. She is so going to semi-accidentally talk someone in the new cast into killing themselves so that she can achieve her professional goals. My only question is, which of them is going to turn to alcoholism and endless whining (aka, become Allison)?

October 23, 2009

Fugs and Pieces: Friday, Oct. 23

-- Jessica Simpson and GERARD BUTLER? STOP, CHILD. JUST STOP. Seriously, that girl doesn't just wear Bad Idea jeans -- she apparently is swaddled in Bad Idea panties, bras, and t-shirts too. I just want to, like, take her away somewhere and have her sex drive disabled for a year or something, so that she stops gravitating to men who are guaranteed to make her cry. (Celebuzz)

-- It seems the fine people at Twitter are making wine. No, really. Wine. It's to benefit literacy -- which makes perfect sense, really, because what better way to get children to want to read than to get them drunk? And also, it would seem to pave the way for lots of drunk Twittering, and we all know being blitzed off your tree is the cornerstone of any good social-networking service. The New Yorker's Cartoon Lounge blog has some amusing thoughts about other companies taking a similarly creative approach to marketing. (Fledgling Wine and The New Yorker)

-- Didn't we all learn from Joe Simpson that it's really pervy to talk about your daughter's boobs? (People)

-- I love Tetris on my phone...and on my outfits. (Dress a Day)

-- This Bronson Pinchot interview makes me do the dance of joy. Because it's SO DISHY and honest. Turns out Balki is fascinating. (The A.V. Club)

-- Yes, you do want to watch the highlights from The Joan Collins Makeover Hour. She says the words "muffin top," blames the internet for people looking like hell, and makes people put on Elizabethan ruffs. (YouTube)

-- Bai Ling discusses her seven favorite love scenes. What, you thought she'd be talking string theory? (Cinematical)

-- This Mental Floss quiz asks you to differentiate between outfits Claudia Kishi once wore in The Babysitters Club, and things celebrities have worn (described in the style of BSC). If you've spent any time at all on GFY prior to RIGHT NOW, the celeb outfits will not be foreign to you. Old -- I think this ran originally while we were out of town -- but still amusing. (Mental Floss)

-- Remember how we were originally bewailing having no idea what was going to happen on Mischa Barton's Awful-But-Canceled The Beautiful Life:TBL? Ask and ye shall receive spoilers. (Hollywood Crush)

-- McSweeney's still rules. "It's decorative gourd season, motherf%$^ckers!" (McSweeney's)

October 16, 2009

Fugs and Pieces: Friday, Oct. 16

HAPPY WEEKEND, EVERYONE. At last, at last, Friday has arrived. And while you spend your last two hours at work pretending to be earning your pay check, you clearly need more procrastination material. BEHOLD!

You clearly need to kick off this weekend with a lengthy montage of Alexis Carrington Colby's wardrobe, especially if you have been feeling lately like you need to see more women in fur turbans dramatically turning around to face the camera. (YouTube)

According to Life and Style, the Kardashians are designing a line for Bebe. This is literally the first time that a celebrity fashion line has actually made sense to me. Does it sound GOOD? That's a whole other discussion. (Life and Style, via Style Section LA)

Speaking of, "style," it appears Katie "Jordan" Price is publishing her own style guide. Our reaction to this can only be summed up by: !!!!!???!?!!!!??!11111??!!?!?!!?!?!?!?! Also, it goes without saying that we need to read this. (The Guardian)

We LOVE Martha Stewart -- seriously, every episode of her show features Martha both drinking and flirting with male guests -- but this baby costume is simply too realistically edible, and recalls that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer has taken to basting himself in butter and Newman can barely manage not to eat him. We're scared. (Martha Stewart.com)

If only the fine folks behind this episode of MTV's What Were U Thinking had asked Ashley Green what she was thinking about the very outfit she wore in said episode, as it's the high-waisted leather shorts we featured here. That being said, this is a fun segment. (MTV.com)

The first peeks at Rodarte's Target line have arrived. We are...undecided. It MIGHT be awesome. It might be AWFUL. (NY Mag.com)

You may have seen this if you're following us on The Twitter, but we contributed to a fun piece Kotaku did on the fashions in the new video game, Uncharted 2. (Kotaku)

It's awesome that Brooks Brothers is selling Mad Men-inspired (and branded) suits -- if only so some of us can pretend we're dating Don Draper -- but where are the Joan Holloway-branded pencil skirts, I ask you? (The Los Angeles Times)l

The website DailyLit basically delivers chunks of books to your email inbox for easy reading, which is groovy -- this would allow me to read things in line at the bank, for instance, instead of killing all the other people in line in front of me at the bank -- and their most recent acquisition is called Shoes, Bags and Tiaras, which features, er, shoes, bags and tiaras from the V&A. Do I really need info about fabulous, historical Manolos delivered to me on the regular? Don't answer that. (DailyLit.com)

Finally, if you've ever wondered what it's like to work here at GFY HQ, it's JUST LIKE THIS, except there are only two of us and we've never done this. Other than in our hearts. Also, we'll probably do one to "Express Yourself" sometime next week:

Continue reading Fugs and Pieces: Friday, Oct. 16.

October 9, 2009

Fugs and Pieces: Friday, Oct. 9

Now that the work week is winding down, and we're all desperately searching for procrastinatory material to get us through until quittin' time, here's a roundup of stuff we've been checking out on the Web this week.

-- Why is Shiloh Jolie-Pitt dressed like Joel Madden? Maybe all the Jolie-Pitt kids will be OTHER CELEBS this Halloween. That would be kind of hilarious. I want to see Maddox in costume as Madonna. (JustJared)

-- Beyonce told Oprah's magazine that Kanye, with his VMAs outburst, was defending art. In other words, she just totally picked at a scab that had mostly healed, AND has managed to come off like she's ALSO dissing Taylor Swift's video. JUST STOP TALKING, YOU GUYS. (UsMagazine.com)

-- The Book of Genesis, according to Tyra (who else?). Hilarious. (Lyrical Malarky)

-- Author Meg Cabot took us right back to our childhood in this Wall Street Journal piece about the Betsy-Tacy books. And Tib. Don't worry, we haven't forgotten you, Tib. I wish HarperCollins would republish those.

-- According to LAist, Ellen Page is writing a series for HBO about two girls who move from Williamsburg to Silver Lake to become "artists." As one of their commenters aptly noted, this sounds like a story from The Onion. HIPSTER OVERLOAD.

-- Generally, Nancy Grace is not our particular cup of java, but we have to offer a laurel and hearty handshake to anyone who delivers a smackdown to Jon Gosselin. (Jezebel)

-- Bonus points if you ID'd the Blazing Saddles quote in the previous blurb.

-- In other Gosselin news, E!'s Answer Bitch contemplates how best to make him go away forever. We can only pray that he read it.

-- We're terribly sad that Intern George hasn't flown us to Paris Fashion Week to watch all the ornate collections come down the runway; fortunately, we have Harper's Bazaar to pick out the Top 100 things from the catwalk.

-- Roisin Murphy cracks us up -- and also might be cream-filled. (Style.com)

-- This might be the cutest kid ever. Watch your back, Kurt Russell. If they make Miracle II: Getting Together To Watch The Game From The First Movie, you might have to reaudition for your own part.

-- OH HELL YES. Joan Collins is appearing in a new television special in which she gives three women makeovers. PLEASE AIR IN THE US. (SF Gate)

October 2, 2009

Fugs and Pieces (Friday, October 2nd)

Hey guys,

Welcome to our newest feature here on GFY. We've privately been referring to it as Friday Afternoon Procrastination Station, because -- let's be honest -- who is doing any work on a Friday afternoon, anyway? Every week, we stumble on or are emailed awesome stuff that we can't figure out how to shoehorn into our usual content and it used to be deeply annoying that it went to waste. Then we realized that we're the boss of us, so there was no reason to be holding back. Behold, our first installment of Fugs and Pieces: Random Bits We Read This Week That You Might Enjoy, Or Not. Have a great weekend!

It seems formerly secret-married and now unsecret-divorcing Emmy Rossum is dating... Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows. Because apparently it's 1999, and she has a Sideshow Bob fetish. (Huffington Post)

We, like Spencer, are ALSO scared that he and Heidi Montag will have a child, so we fully support him cutting back on the sex. In fact, we think the world owes him a thank you for that caution. (MetroNews.ca)

A reader alerted us to this picture of Mischa Barton looking... well, like she's not taking The Beautiful Life: TBL's cancellation so well. (TMZ)

On the TBL tip, Sara Paxton complained "exclusively" to Latina about being cancelled and expressed a serious worry about what she's going to do with all her new furniture. Uh, sweetie? Call a moving company. (Latina)

We love a good Blind Item, and this one from EW's Michael Ausiello is pretty dishy. Commenters seem to have nixed David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel from Bones, and Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski from Chuck -- which, thank God, because we need both of those on-screen pairings to remain awesome. Maybe Marcia Cross and Richard Burgi from Desperate Housewives? Although we can't imagine MC acting ragingly inappropriate... unless she really IS Dr. Kimberly Shaw. (Ausiello Files)

We wish this article was online, but in the last print version of Us Weekly -- with poor sad Jessica Simpson on the cover -- there's an enraging bit in which Kourtney Kardashian's dumbass baby daddy expresses relief that at least their child will know its mother when she's young and hot and not an "old hag." Further sweet nothings: "Until I can spend at least a million dollars on a stone, I'm not going to propose. I'm not saying I can't afford that now. I just don't know if I feel like doing it today." Those girls make AMAZING life choices, don't they?

Sesame Street did a Mad Men take off that warms my heart. If you think about it, Jon "THE UNANAGRAMMABLE" Hamm DOES resemble Guy Smiley. A very troubled, extremely talented, super hot, secretive Guy Smiley. (Just Jared)

Speaking of people we'd like to marry, Jezebel put up a really genius clip from The Colbert Report this week, where Stephen wins "marry" in a "Do, Dump, Marry" game between him, Jimmy Fallon, and Conan as outlined in Glamour magazine. First of all: We all know that's not what the game is called, but nice try. Second, it's MAGICAL once Colbert realizes Glamour readers are cheating on him with Fallon. Seriously, if you watch one video online this week, give the honors to Stephen. (Colbert via Jezebel)

But if you decide to watch two, you need to check out what awaits you after the jump. It is safe for work. In fact, you might want to have a viewing party in your office:

Continue reading Fugs and Pieces (Friday, October 2nd).

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