Ginnifer Goodwin

November 6, 2009

A Fuggle Man

Is Ginnifer Goodwin being punished?

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I feel like this is what you'd get if you tried going out in a skimpy outfit, and your mother said, "HOLD ON THERE, honey, you are not leaving my house dressed like THAT," and you were like, "MOM, don't be so LAME, this is TOTALLY not even that short," and she was all, "But I can see your NIPPLE poking through there," and you were like, "Dude, Mom, nips are the new black, everyone is doing it," and she was like, "I WOULD SOONER GLUE THE GUEST-ROOM CURTAINS TO YOUR BODY THAN LET YOU WEAR THAT DRESS," and you go, "I'd like to see you TRY, old woman," and she said, "OH NO YOU DI'INT," and grabbed her glue gun and a stapler and went to town, and you wore it out anyway just to prove that she couldn't defeat you. So I guess what I'm saying is, maybe Ginnifer would've been better off picking the lengthy grounding that awaited her behind Door No. 2.
I enjoy how, in photos, Ginnifer Goodwin always seems to be cocking her head and looking at the camera with intense eyes, as if to say, "Come on, hit me with it. I can take it. I'm ready. DO YOUR WORST.

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"You want to tell me the necklace reminds you a bit of Halls cough drops on a string? FINE. You think the bodice looks like a construction-paper valentine? BRING IT. You want to wax nostalgic about how you were lousy at drawing even hearts, so you'd draw half of one on a folded piece of paper, cut, and then open it up and VOILA, instant symmetry? And how this dress has now made you reminisce about kindergarten in a way that you haven't since the last time you walked past a toy aisle and saw the Play-Doh Mop Top Hair Shop and secretly thought about buying it for yourself even though you were fully grown? HAVE AT IT. I CAN HANDLE IT. I AM TOUGHER THAN YOUR STUPID ANECDOTES. As long as you give me credit for not gluing any part of this to a doily. Can you do that? CAN YOU?"

September 10, 2009

Fug or Fab: Ginnifer Goodwin

What say ye, Fug Nation: Cute, youthful cocktail dress?

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Or the model for the cake at a heart surgeon's retirement party?

From the waist up, and the knees down, I love this:

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But I've been looking at it for ten minutes and I can't figure out why the middle part makes her look like a folded up umbrella. Ginnifer Goodwin is a petite little thing, so it's really beyond me why she looks so weirdly wide in the middle. Like...is there some pleating or bustling happening here that I just can't see in the picture? It is draped in a way that is fantastic in person, but doesn't translate to film? Does this dress have huge pockets, and she's got the New York Times shoved into her left one? Has her bottom half mysteriously expanded since the last time I saw her? (I've had days where I've felt like that myself.) The silhouette here is surely an optical illusion, right? Because I feel like this SHOULD be fabulous.


February 5, 2009

Fug or Fab: Ginnifer Goodwin

I had the strangest moment looking at this dress, which is when I thought to myself, "I hate that. I can totally see myself wearing it." Like, in the same breath:

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The more I look at it, the more I've started to like it despite the fact that I can't stand it. It's like the clothing version of a romantic comedy where a man and a woman meet and immediately loathe each other and you know they're meant to fall madly in love in about ten minutes and this dress and I are about at minute four. I hope this means that all the other tropes of the romantic comedy are also fated to come to pass for me: I will immediately find an amazing, huge, spectacularly decorated apartment fully stocked with adorable designer clothes, which I will be able to afford despite the fact that I am now suddenly a woman who designs floral arrangements for dog weddings instead of blogging, and every time I go to the market my one paper bag will be artfully packed so that a plump baguette peeks deliciously out of the top, and when my dress here comes to declares its overwhelming, perfect love, it and I will embrace sobbing in the rain in the middle of a Manhattan street that -- for some reason -- has literally no traffic at all. It is going to be SO ROMANTIC. And also REALLY WEIRD.

  
We here at GFY are nothing if not fair: We have a rigid Intern George time-sharing schedule, for instance; we never eat the last Twinkie without offering to split it into thirds; and we hardly EVER cheat at any of our epic Uno tournaments. So, in the name of that unflinching dispassion, I figure we might as well complete the pentagon, as it were -- we've had at Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Aniston, and Scarlett Johansson, so let's have a gander at He's Just Not That Into You's other unfortunate participants, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin.

Side note: How weird must it have been on that set, with Jennifer, Jennifer, AND Ginnifer? Maybe they referred to them as Jennifer, Jen, and... Gin, although frankly, anyone running around a movie set screaming for Gin probably instead received a lot of sympathetic looks at at least one giant bottle of Beefeater. Maybe the next person to do a movie with Ms. Goodwin should try that one. You're welcome.

Ahem. Where was I? Ah yes: Let's start as every day should, with Gin.

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It's hard to muster up much excitement, because in general, Ginnifer herself didn't -- I'm not sure I saw a single picture where she was smiling, except maybe for one in which she greeted somebody. Too bad, really, because she SHOULD be happy. She's fantastic on Big Love (and holy cheese sandwich, wasn't Sunday's episode brilliant? Wow), no one will remember she was even IN this movie in about six months, her hair looks really pretty and healthy, and that color totally works on her. Perhaps she's frustrated that her skirt is wrinkled. Maybe her necklace of giant amber kryptonite has sapped her of the ability to use her facial muscles. Or maybe the tight leather bonds of those shoes are cutting off her circulation, and she's embarrassed, because the second she tries to take a step her sleeping feet will betray her and send her tumbling toward a date with a mouthful of musty, moldy red carpet. Which is probably not the rebound relationship she had hoped to throw in Chris Klein's face. We may never know why she was so glum, but on the whole, I think she looked the best of all five ladies.

This leaves us with Drew Barrymore:

June 11, 2007

Big Fug

For your viewing pleasure, a exclusive still from the upcoming feature film Ginnifer Goodwin: Portrait of a Serial Killer:

"She always seemed so quiet, " reads the accompanying press release, "but the cast and crew of Big Love should have realized something was awry the night of the show's second season premiere, when the actress's quiet demeanor turned, at long last, to barely concealed hatred. And soon...it would turn to violence. Starring Katie Holmes as Ginnifer Goodwin."

May 1, 2007

Ginnifer Fugwin

Ginnifer Goodwin has presented me with a tiny conundrum here, in that I am pretty sure I'm not wild about what she's wearing as a whole, but certain aspects of it, I like.

The bodice is kind of cool -- it evokes the good parts of Xanadu, like when they're at the Franchise Glitz Dealer engaging in a dangerously colorful music montage while Gene Kelly tries on ritzy stuff to wear to the funeral of his dignity, or when Sonny Malone and his attention-whore nipple (yes, only one of them seems to crave the spotlight) roller-skates right through the Muse Mural and lands in their strange netherworld full of neon, or the final number in which Olivia Newton John makes three costume changes without leaving the stage and then gets sucked up into the sky by a neon light and nobody seems at all fazed by this turn of events.

But generally, as a woman with hips, it's anathema to me to wear something that makes them significantly bigger. Especially if I am in the mood to slouch a little and shove my pelvis away from the rest of me, which Ginnifer is doing, as if she's mad at it and wants to get it away from her immediately. It only enhances the widening that the dress is already doing. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not anti-hip. Curves are important. I just sort of feel like, a girl should rock what she's got the best way she can, without any weird fabric unnaturally and unflatteringly embiggening things (thank you, Jebediah Springfield, for the verb "embiggen").

So that puts me on the "fug" side of the eternal Fab or Fug debate. Unless she's using those fabric folds to sneak in a few hip flasks, in which case, this dress moves from ill-conceived to ingenious.

April 13, 2007

Fuggifer Fugwin

With her weird hanky-dress in its full figure-gobbling, crotch-showcasing billow, Ginnifer Goodwin is learning the hard way that some days you really are better off just leaving the house in a bathrobe. Seriously, it that thing looks like the wings of a very rare, elaborate insect that has landed on her and is attempting to eat her whole. The mannequin looks more satisfied.

And she looks zombified. Judging from that, and her hair, it seems Chris Klein's cunning plan is working. Free yourself, Ginnifer! Step one is finding a way to flee without catching any stiff breezes. Which will be hard; in that thing, one errant sneeze will reveal all your secrets.

April 6, 2007

Fug Love

No, no, Ginnifer Goodwin!

On Big Love, you play the sort of immature, voluptuous one. Chloe Sevigny is the prim-looking one who dresses like she's been primarily inspired by Little House on the Prairie seasoned with a dash of schoolmarm. You better get this straight before filming begins for season two or there's going to be some tussling on the set.

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