Golden Globes Archives

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Fug or Fab: Rhona Mitra

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Rhona Mitra here always seemed like a bit of a pill to me. I once saw her at a coffee shop in Venice and she was CRANKY, so that has clouded my judgment. Of course, it's possible that she had just gotten a parking ticket or had cramps or remembered that her last major film role was playing the poor man's Kate Beckinsale in the most recent Underworld movie, and any of those things could make anyone crabby. Her expression here doesn't really help though:

Cheer up, babe! It can't be that bad! Look at all the room you've got in that dress for snacks. Anything that doesn't require Spanx on the night of an awards show is cause for celebration as far as I'm concerned. On the other hand, there's something about this that makes me:

concerned the hem is going to get caught around her feet, causing her to faceplant into the champagne fountain;
concerned that the back is deeply, deeply unflattering to her bum
concerned that the front is actually even kind of unflattering to her front.

On the other hand, the blush tone is very pretty on her, and... honestly, her cranky expression is giving me hives, so I'm just going to turn it over to you, the experts:

poll by twiigs.com

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Fug or Fab: Jessica Lowndes

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When I told Heather I was writing about this dress, she was unsurprised. "The neck ruffle!" she said. It's true: I LOVE a neck ruffle. And ergo, I rather love this:

I'm not entirely sure I am enamored of the color. It doesn't QUITE wash her out, but it also reminds me both of figure-skating costumes, and bridesmaids' gowns. Or perhaps, therefore, a figure-skating routine about being a bridesmaid, set to Pachelbel's Canon and skated in dyed-to-match boots and a head wreath. (Note to self: email Johnny Weir about this idea.) Regardless, I think I'm going to give Jessica Lowndes a hearty thumbs up.

poll by twiigs.com

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Red Carpet Fug/Art Gala Fug

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One of the perks of having it rain buckets on Globes Day is that we got so many pictures of celebrity dudes holding umbrellas for celebrity ladies:

Obviously, nothing will top the charm of this photo, but Stephen Moyer does look like he's amused by this turn of events. I have to say, the rain was almost a PR blessing in a weird way for a lot of these people. It was sort of like a global Stars: They're Just Like Us, in that half of them showed up looking a wee bit damp and slightly the worse for wear. Not in an unattractive way, just in a way where they all looked sort of human, which is appealing. (Did you hear that, Heidi Montag? LOOKING HUMAN IS APPEALING.)

Not appealing? Anna Paquin's cloven hooves. On one hand, they appear to have enough of a platform that she definitely didn't get her tootsies wet. On the other, THEY ARE HIDEOUS. (I do rather like the dress, though. So shiny!)

Also a curious fashion choice from A. Paq:

Continue reading Golden Globes Red Carpet Fug/Art Gala Fug.

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Jennifer Morrison

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beige,
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It's not Jennifer Morrison's fault that this dress reminded me of unbleached, recycled paper towels.

They've been put to beautiful use -- they would surely win the Project Runway challenge sponsored by Seventh Generation's 100% Recycled Paper Products (this, of course, would get its designer auf'ed) -- but I can't help it. Every time I look at her, I just want to spill some clinical blue liquid on a counter and then use my perfectly manicured hand to neatly and efficiently wipe it up with her dress.

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Well-Played Carpet: Jennifer Aniston

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basic (or unbasic) black

With Jennifer Aniston, I am so often torn.

Pro: She looks gorgeous.

Con: She'd be even more gorgeous if she had -- say it with me, grandmothers of the world -- just gotten that hair out of her face.

Pro: Her hair used to be her signature. It still is, a bit. So of course it's all up in her grill. Also, she has great hair.

Con: Okay, but if she's going to play THAT card, then she can't get away with that FACE she made made when Ricky Gervais introduced her as "Rachel from Friends." Get over yourself.

Pro: Well, she HAS done a lot since then; it must be kind of frustrating to be pigeonholed like that.

Con: OH PLEASE. She made millions from that show and it's the only reason anyone cares about her in the first place; suck it up, Aniston. YOU ARE RACHEL FROM FRIENDS, and there is nothing wrong with that. And it changed your life.

Pro: Let's talk about her legs. That is a serious leg right there.

Con: Maybe she only has one awesome leg. Maybe the other one has no muscle tone at all. You don't know.

Pro: Now you're just being weird.

Con: Okay, she has two awesome legs. But she's wearing black again. BORING. When she came out I may have said to myself, "Oh, gee, Jennifer Aniston is wearing black. What a shock. I MUST PICK UP MY JAW FROM THE FLOOR."

Pro: That is true, but she looks great in it, and it's just different enough to be interesting.

Con: Is it, though?

Pro: It is.

Con: But is it REALLY?

Pro: Yes.

Con: By which you mean no, right?

Pro: No.

Con: HA! You agree with me!

Pro: No.

Con: Damn.

Pro: I think I'm going to have to win this fight. For all the strikes against it -- same old color, same old hair -- she is working it like it's new. And frankly, until the tabloids shut up and stop clutching their collective pearls over the fact that she's not married and with child, I think she could use all the support she can get. Plus have you seen the promos for that heinous Gerard Butler movie she's in soon? YIKES. She will need support after THAT, too.

Con: FINE.

Pro: Thank you.

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Alicja Bachleda

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This lovely lady here attended the Globes on the arm of her boyfriend, Colin Farrell.

And it's as well he wasn't nominated for anything, because they had two globes traveling in their limo already -- no room for a third.

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Fug or Fab Carpet: Nicole Kidman

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flesh tones

Aw, the Kidman.

Let us first give thanks for the continued glory of the darker red hair. It's AMAZING how much better she looks with the Moulin Rouge-era dark red locks, just like La Kidman of old, and it makes me very happy and also prompts me, sometimes, to burst into my imitation of the Duke from said film, which amuses only me. But that's okay, since I'm the only person here! Anyway, with that out of the way....let's yap about the dress. Honestly, I find it a bit of a snore, but that may be because I have sheets on my bed right now that are a very similar champagne color and looking at it provokes in me the Pavlovian response that I need a nap immediately.

poll by twiigs.com

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Bryce Dallas Howard

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accessories to the crime

Bryce Dallas Howard might be a sneaky contender in this year's Fug Madness. Let's hope I remember she exists when seeding time rolls around -- which I do not mean as snottily as it sounds. It's just that I haven't seen much with her in it, and she's not a huge party girl (to her credit), so she and I cross online paths very infrequently and there are only 65 slots and you'd be surprised how tough it is to fit in everyone we think deserves this dubious honor.

Anyhoo, here she is first at this past weekend's Art of Elysium gala, a.k.a., yet another event a ton of people attended because they were all in town for the Globes, but which got totally overshadowed by the aforementioned awards.

This appears to be an homage to both Madonna and candy-stripers. It's a rare thing to find a person desperate to celebrate both volunteer work and the joys of swirly, semi-pointy undergarments. Perhaps she should found an organization called Candy Strippers and be done with it.

Next up: Her ensemble at the Globes after-parties:

Continue reading Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Bryce Dallas Howard.

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Well Played Carpet: Camilla Belle

I have no beef with Joy Bryant. The only reason she's here is that this photo is the only full-length shot I could find in which you can see more than 50 percent of Camilla's dress. Think of Joy as more of a calming emcee, or a friendly cruise director here to shepherd us through the waters on our figurative Love Boat.

Wait, scratch that. I might have a beef with Joy Bryant. I can't really SEE her outfit, but if it's a sequined suit, of the pant- or jump- variety, then my beef with her might be large enough to register as a Porterhouse on the menu.

But I love Camilla's frock, both the pattern and the way the dramatic bodice flows into the slit in the skirt. She is dressing way out of her fame level here -- which I don't mean as an insult. It's actually a pat on the back. I mean, can't name anything she's done besides date Joe Jonas and star in 10,000 B.C., and yet here she is getting her mitts on an Armani. That is some seriously good work right there. Maybe after this photo was taken, she loaned some of her mojo to Joy. How hot would SHE have looked in Camilla's beaded dress? Mercy.

January 20, 2010

Golden Globes Well Played Carpet: Cameron Diaz

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So, apparently Cameron Diaz presented something at the Golden Globes. I completely missed it, although I watched the entire ceremony -- I must have been staring emptily at my laptop screen, desperately willing my fingers to type faster. It happens. So anyway, given the number of celebrities who skipped the red carpet because of the weather (ahem, Reese Witherspoon), I seriously thought for a second that Cameron here came out and walked it just for fun.

That would've been very cool of her, and super unusual given how most celebrities moan and wail about what a TRIAL it is to have to attend these things. But now that I know she did take part in the ceremony, I am no longer surprised to see her and can instead focus on what she wore. Which I think I like. The makeup... feh. But the body-skimming crimson is striking (even in satin; see, I'm NOT an absolutist!) and she looks extremely jolly and comfortable.

It's even better considering that last year I wrote of her, "There are a few constants with awards shows: The band will try to play off the person who probably most deserves a moment in the sun (this year, Mickey Rourke), Ricky Gervais will go off-script any time he's given stage time until they break down and let him host one of the telecasts, and Cameron Diaz will show up looking like she forgot she has a head." Aside from my eerie prescience with Ricky Gervais, it's nice to see that Cameron did at least REMEMBER this year that she should put on a little makeup (even if I don't know how I feel about it) and slicked her hair back into a presentable and rain-friendly bun. A big step up here, I think, enhanced by the fact that she made it all the way there without wrinkling the hell out of that skirt. That's a feat for the ages.

Golden Globes

Golden Globes Fug or Fab: Rhona Mitra

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Golden Globes Fug or Fab: Jessica Lowndes

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Golden Globes Red Carpet Fug/Art Gala Fug

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Jennifer Morrison

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Golden Globes Well-Played Carpet: Jennifer Aniston

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Alicja Bachleda

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Golden Globes Fug or Fab Carpet: Nicole Kidman

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Bryce Dallas Howard

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Golden Globes Well Played Carpet: Camilla Belle

Golden Globes Well Played Carpet: Cameron Diaz

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