You know, I was well on my way to liking Eva Mendes' outfit.
But the giant coffee filter stapled to her hip kind of harshed my buzz.
But the giant coffee filter stapled to her hip kind of harshed my buzz.
Golden Globes
January 12, 2009
Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Eva Mendes
January 12, 2009
Golden Globes Fug or Fab Carpet: Marisa Tomei
So, when I first saw Ol' Tomei here on the red carpet, I admit I may have made some crack about Seinfeld, pirates, and a puffy shirt:
But now that I've had some time to live with it, I think I might actually sort of like it. I mean, it's definitely a kooky choice for a big mainstream awards show, and she rather looks as though she's campaigning for a plum role in a sexed-up remake of The Magnificent Ambersons, or some other Victorian-era drama, but it's very flattering on her, and I kind of like the idea of sweeping around dressed like a Gibson Girl. It makes her seem like she might just disapprovingly whack Ryan Secreast on the head with a walking stick if he gets out of line and I enjoy that. (Sorry, Ryan. You had a bit of a rough go of it last night.)
But now that I've had some time to live with it, I think I might actually sort of like it. I mean, it's definitely a kooky choice for a big mainstream awards show, and she rather looks as though she's campaigning for a plum role in a sexed-up remake of The Magnificent Ambersons, or some other Victorian-era drama, but it's very flattering on her, and I kind of like the idea of sweeping around dressed like a Gibson Girl. It makes her seem like she might just disapprovingly whack Ryan Secreast on the head with a walking stick if he gets out of line and I enjoy that. (Sorry, Ryan. You had a bit of a rough go of it last night.)
January 12, 2009
Golden Globes Terror Watch Carpet: Sting
You guys, what is going on with Sting?
Please be for a role. Please be for a role. Please be for a role. Please be for a role. A role that ...is mysteriously not yet on IMDb, sure. But hey, they appear to be under the impression that Ralph Fiennes is not in any future Harry Potter movies (despite being Lord Thingy and kind of, you know, important to the end of the series) so anything could happen. Right? Right? RIGHT? THIS IS NOT ON PURPOSE. STING DOES NOT LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE WHO...LOOKS LIKE THIS. HE IS BREAKING ME. And just look what he's doing to Colin Farrell:
Please be for a role. Please be for a role. Please be for a role. Please be for a role. A role that ...is mysteriously not yet on IMDb, sure. But hey, they appear to be under the impression that Ralph Fiennes is not in any future Harry Potter movies (despite being Lord Thingy and kind of, you know, important to the end of the series) so anything could happen. Right? Right? RIGHT? THIS IS NOT ON PURPOSE. STING DOES NOT LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE WHO...LOOKS LIKE THIS. HE IS BREAKING ME. And just look what he's doing to Colin Farrell:
Continue reading Golden Globes Terror Watch Carpet: Sting.
January 12, 2009
Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Cameron Diaz
There are a few constants with awards shows: The band will try to play off the person who probably most deserves a moment in the sun (this year, Mickey Rourke), Ricky Gervais will go off-script any time he's given stage time until they break down and let him host one of the telecasts, and Cameron Diaz will show up looking like she forgot she has a head.
Other than the color, which suits her, the dress actually doesn't do much for me, either. I hate to break it to Karl Lagerfeld, since it's Chanel couture, but: It seems pointlessly busy. None of the details actually do much for her body or for the dress itself; they just seem like they're there because, well, it needed SOMETHING, and nobody had any better ideas. Her left boob appears shoved substantially lower than her right, yet paradoxically, the bodice is actively squeezing it up into her armpit. And the horizontal fold that ties into the rosette just looks like an unfortunate crease.
What really gets me, though, is that her hair is ALWAYS a total mess, and here it's no exception. Despite the cursory lip gloss, Cameron basically still looks like she's been out all night and just touched up the makeup she already had left over from her rollicking bender. And honey, if you can't be bothered with your roots, try hiding it with an updo. Or a ginormous, freaky hat. At least that would make us laugh and clap with camp-infused glee.
In fact, this was actually one of my very favorite shots of the entire telecast:
Other than the color, which suits her, the dress actually doesn't do much for me, either. I hate to break it to Karl Lagerfeld, since it's Chanel couture, but: It seems pointlessly busy. None of the details actually do much for her body or for the dress itself; they just seem like they're there because, well, it needed SOMETHING, and nobody had any better ideas. Her left boob appears shoved substantially lower than her right, yet paradoxically, the bodice is actively squeezing it up into her armpit. And the horizontal fold that ties into the rosette just looks like an unfortunate crease.
What really gets me, though, is that her hair is ALWAYS a total mess, and here it's no exception. Despite the cursory lip gloss, Cameron basically still looks like she's been out all night and just touched up the makeup she already had left over from her rollicking bender. And honey, if you can't be bothered with your roots, try hiding it with an updo. Or a ginormous, freaky hat. At least that would make us laugh and clap with camp-infused glee.
In fact, this was actually one of my very favorite shots of the entire telecast:
Continue reading Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Cameron Diaz.
January 12, 2009
Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Glenn Close
Here's the deal, Glenn Close: I really like you. And I respect that you're not pretending you're Lindsay Lohan's age.
But to be frank, you look like the Tin Man got it on with one of Donald Trump's couches.
But to be frank, you look like the Tin Man got it on with one of Donald Trump's couches.
January 12, 2009
Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Jessica Capshaw
Aw, Jessica Capshaw really is so cute.
It's kind of mean that no one told her that she looks a bit like a Playboy bunny in this thing. I mean, I assumed that since she's on Grey's Anatomy now, she wouldn't need to be agitating for a side-gig on The Girls Next Door. But who am I to say? Maybe girlfriend has been dying to take a dip in that grotto. If that's the case, though, she really should have gone full Bunny and worn the ears. I know the conventional wisdom is never to go full Bunny, but I have to disagree. Especially since it would have been a bit amusing for the rest of us, no? Don't ever say that I'm not looking out for you kids.
It's kind of mean that no one told her that she looks a bit like a Playboy bunny in this thing. I mean, I assumed that since she's on Grey's Anatomy now, she wouldn't need to be agitating for a side-gig on The Girls Next Door. But who am I to say? Maybe girlfriend has been dying to take a dip in that grotto. If that's the case, though, she really should have gone full Bunny and worn the ears. I know the conventional wisdom is never to go full Bunny, but I have to disagree. Especially since it would have been a bit amusing for the rest of us, no? Don't ever say that I'm not looking out for you kids.
January 12, 2009
Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Drew Barrymore
Oh, Drew. I'm glad you're having a good time, at least:
Having that kind of a good attitude can get a girl through all kinds of problems: break-ups, job drama, having people make fun of your hair on the Internets...
Having that kind of a good attitude can get a girl through all kinds of problems: break-ups, job drama, having people make fun of your hair on the Internets...
Continue reading Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Drew Barrymore.
January 12, 2009
Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Renee Zellweger
Wow. I know we've been entreating Renee Zellweger to ditch the same-old, same-old strapless gowns, but apparently we've got to be careful what we wish for with this one:
The hair, the shredded top (not strapless but still shoulderless -- one step at a time, I guess), the vague sense that she's not sure entirely what's happening or why... She looks like Crazy Aunt Ne-Ne, who's been let out of her attic for the first time since TV was black-and-white, crawled down a gin bottle, tasered her minders, and is now trying to hail a cab to the nearest military base to show our boys some real gratitude.
I mean.... SERIOUSLY, Renee:
The hair, the shredded top (not strapless but still shoulderless -- one step at a time, I guess), the vague sense that she's not sure entirely what's happening or why... She looks like Crazy Aunt Ne-Ne, who's been let out of her attic for the first time since TV was black-and-white, crawled down a gin bottle, tasered her minders, and is now trying to hail a cab to the nearest military base to show our boys some real gratitude.
I mean.... SERIOUSLY, Renee:
Continue reading Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Renee Zellweger.
January 12, 2009
NYFug.com: Live-Blogging the Red Carpet
So, yesterday, Heather and I live-blogged the Golden Globes red carpet for NY Mag.com -- just like we said we would in the post directly below this one! See? We would never lie to you. It certainly felt good to have the Globes back again. And to have our reunion include this moment was especially thrilling:
7:41 p.m.: Ryan gets his claws in Beyonce, who looks....just like Beyonce. After about 30 seconds, he sort of shoves her aside to climb down from his perch to CHASE Brangelina down the red carpet. We are not exaggerating. He full-on bolts down the stairs shouting their names, and they COMPLETELY SNUB HIM. Angie pretends he isn't even there, as he stands behind them calling out their names pleadingly. AWKWARD. Also: FABULOUS.You can re-live the rest of it here at NY Mag.com. DON'T SNUB US LIKE WE'RE SEACREST OVER HERE.
January 9, 2009
Golden Globes Liveblog!
Remember last year, when the Golden Globes were canceled, and all we got was some depressing news conference? BORING. Thank god they're back this year, and -- we pray! -- better than ever. We especially hope the red carpet will be fun and interesting and full of totally cracked-out behavior, because we're going to be live-blogging it for The Cut.
Why is there a picture of Alec Baldwin accompanying this information, you ask? I just like him, that's all. Does he not look jovial? All hail Jack Donaghy! See you all Sunday! You there -- yes, you, the one chewing on the top of her Bic Rollerball -- bring the onion dip.
Why is there a picture of Alec Baldwin accompanying this information, you ask? I just like him, that's all. Does he not look jovial? All hail Jack Donaghy! See you all Sunday! You there -- yes, you, the one chewing on the top of her Bic Rollerball -- bring the onion dip.
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