KATY PERRY: Hey, MIA.
M.I.A.: Hey, Katy. You left out the periods in my name.
KATY: Yeah, they get boring to put in there over and over again.
MIA: Right you are, I'll give you a pass this time. Your dress is very... interesting. It's kind of like an old-movie gown with a giant napkin and some pink plastic edelweiss stapled to your navel.
KATY: Thank you. And you look.... pregnant.
MIA: I am pregnant. I'm due today. Got a problem with that? Is a knuckle sandwich going to be the first sandwich to pass your lips in eight months?
KATY: No, no, it's great and all, but... look, if Violet Beauregard rolled herself out of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and started a fashion line, and Bjork became her main investor, your muumuu would be their first collaboration.
MIA: Oh, this old thing? This is NOTHING.
KATY: Well, yes, that's actually why I came over to talk to you. I need to thank you.
MIA: For what? Is it because you idolize my rap career? Because you can't believe I kept in this baby in time to perform? Because my nail polish makes you hungry for orange Starbursts?
KATY: Not exactly. I came to thank you for deflecting most of the attention off of me.
MIA: How so?
KATY: Like, the second you hit the stage, there was no way my ridiculous performance outfit would be the most-talked-about getup of the night.
