Go Fug Yourself: Because Fugly Is The New Pretty

Fug or Fab or Unfug: Halle Berry

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It is unusual indeed that I look at a picture of Halle Berry and think, "Eh. Halle doesn't look that great."

Because she is Halle Berry, and she usually looks great regardless of outfit. But this just fills me with eh, meh and feh, with a dash of blah and whole lot of BORING. Am I correct, or has Sharon Stone just ruined me for anyone else? Can this be fixed? Should it be fixed? How? Why? When? Where? Who? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

poll by twiigs.com

Twifught: New Fug

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There are a lot of things going on here that I don't quite understand -- the skirt that gets shorter in front if the part of a lady she should want to hide the most; the pattern that looks like the tiled top of a small patio table -- but nothing is as confounding to me as Christian Serratos' mouth.

It was chilly last night in LA, but not THAT chilly. Did somebody give her a blueberry Popsicle in the limo? Is she about to turn completely blue and blow up the size of a planet and need to be rolled to Willy Wonka's juicing room? If not then I hope it's just a bad makeup choice, because if those lips have anything to do with the one soiled kneecap she appears to be rocking, I may quit on our nation's youth.

The Fugdams Family

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just...wow

On the one hand, this is awesomely dramatic.

On the other, Christina looks like a super-villainess called The Black Widow. Although awesomeness and villainy are not mutually exclusive, as any sensible Miss Hannigan sympathizer can tell you. The cape is inane, sure, but something about this photo -- I believe it's the expression on her face, as if to say, "Yes, that's right, my spine is leaking fabric; it's $10 a yard, if you're shopping" -- inspired me to put it to a vote rather than file it away in my mental folder labeled, "Capes: Cracked-out."

poll by twiigs.com

Ginnifug Fugwin

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Here are some Dos and Dont's for you, courtesy of Ginnifer Goodwin:

DO walk around every party looking like you think you're moments away from being jumped by whatever gaggle of old ladies from which you stole the shoulder pads stapled to your shoulders. Because, let's face it, you ARE moments away from that; might as well spoil their fun by letting then know YOU know they're coming.

DON'T even try to hide the fact that you glued together that dress last night during a marathon of that One Tree Hill season where Brooke Davis was both a cheerleader AND a clothing designer, and Dan Scott murdered his brother, and Lucas experienced a really informative coma. Because you will run into someone at the party who secretly loves that show, and wants to talk about why all of Peyton's various mothers have to die.

DO accessorize with fishing lures, because you never know: Someone MIGHT try to pair you with a six-pack of Miller Lite and sell you a gas station to a dude in a puffy orange vest, and sometimes that's how love happens.

Slivfug

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I am so excited for you guys to see this. I am so excited about it that I actually turned to Heather at a party we were attending last night and whispered, "I can't WAIT to go home and write about Sharon Stone!"

Because it all started with this:

She looks like a spy who's about to burst into a Fosse routine in celebration of finally nabbing her man, complete with hat-related choreography. And truly that would be enough for me -- the leather! The lipstick! The headgear! I'm happy. But because someone loves me, that turned into THIS:

Continue reading Slivfug.

Fug0,XFug, Fugsip Girl

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Don't look so crabby, Little J.

[Photo: Splash News]

Either the Gossip Girl costumers are reacting to the public's generally horrified reaction to Taylor Momsen's usual Crotchtacular Faux-Punk style by wrapping her in as many yards of fabric as possible, or Little J has fallen through a rip in the space/time/reality continuum and has found herself living in a Henry James novel (this incarnation of which offers extra sequins). Either way, she should be thanking God we're not all screeching about how we can see the top of her thigh-highs. Enjoy the silence for as long as it lasts, kid.

If You Liked It Then You Shoulda Put a Fug on It

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Look, I know Beyonce is essentially wearing a black sequined version of a Juicy sweatsuit here -- if they made one that involved leggings and a be-chained zippered vest -- and her sunglasses are probably a necessity considering how SHINY her ensemble is, but there's something about this picture that just cracks me up:

[Photo: Splash News]

I think it's just that her expression says, "HELLO FRIEND! I am so pleased to see you." And considering that most celebrities' faces say something something closer to, "DIE PAPARAZZI DOUCHES DIE please see my movie opening next Friday," her cheerfulness is refreshing. I admit, though, that I may also just be programmed to feel pleased whenever someone appears dressed as though they're about to perform something involving jazz hands, and I feel confident that whatever routine Beyonce plans to bust out while wearing this outfit -- perhaps while insisting to her fellow diners that she insists on picking up the tab -- it is going to be JAZZHANDSTASTICAL.

Brangefugn...Zzzzzz...

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BRAD: This artwork is so... right here.

ANGELINA: If I look for ten more seconds, is that polite enough?

BRAD: Boring.

ANGELINA: Must remember to blink.

BRAD: I hope I didn't leave any dinner in my beard.

ANGELINA Thank God, I look sufficiently boring and skinny. No one's going to pay attention to me when Brad is growing goat hair on his face.

BRAD: This thing itches. I wonder if it's rude to scratch it.

ANGELINA: Shoot, did I leave my sex-swing on?

BRAD: And I have that Miley Cyrus song in my head. Resisting... urge... to sing...

ANGELINA: I hope I didn't forget to take my knives out from under my pillow.

BRAD: Hurry up, Angie, walk away so that I can, too.

ANGELINA: Come on, Brad, move along. I'm waiting.

BRANGELINA: YAWN.

Love Fug

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I've just spent like twenty minutes staring at Chloe Sevigny here:

The only conclusion that I've reached is that I would have LOVED this outfit when I was eight years old. Smocking, AND glitter, AND puffed sleeves!?! (Like Anne Shirley, I found puffed sleeves to be the height of sophistication as a youth.) A color palette complimentary to my Lemon Meringue doll? A faint whiff of Figure Skater to the entire undertaking. Sold! Sold for two weeks worth of allowance and six Scratch 'n' Sniff stickers to 3rd Grade Jessica!

Freaky Fug Friday: Juliette Lewis Voting Edition

Insanely difficult, it was, to
Favor any entries above all.
Really, Fug Nation, you're too
Excellent, erudite, and elegant for your own good.
At long last, we
Kinged five poems
In a long afternoon of reading and laughing at your
Nifty submissions, sharp and savage as a
Guillotine but without the messy cleanup.
Lewis, Juliette,
O mistress of nutballs,
Verily you bring us glee with your
Eccentric, eclectic
Yards of suffocating, swaddling fabric.
Obviously, we can't thank our
Unusually hilarious readers enough for making us
Giggle with their take on Juliette hiding
Under her curtain the color of shame. We hope
You enjoy the finalists we chose, but you should go read them all, because
Such genius and wit from everyone deserves a moment in the sun.

THE PICTURE:

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

THE FINALISTS: After the jump.

Continue reading Freaky Fug Friday: Juliette Lewis Voting Edition.

Fug or Fab or Unfug: Halle Berry

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Twifught: New Fug

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The Fugdams Family

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Ginnifug Fugwin

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Slivfug

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Fug0,XFug, Fugsip Girl

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If You Liked It Then You Shoulda Put a Fug on It

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Brangefugn...Zzzzzz...

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Love Fug

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Freaky Fug Friday: Juliette Lewis Voting Edition

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