Go Fug Yourself: Because Fugly Is The New Pretty

Fug and Fab: Kate Bosworth

I actually don't have a problem with what Kate Bosworth is wearing -- I think it'd look fine if she just stood up straight.

I'm more worried about HER. Last we checked in, she was dating a hot British male model and looking healthier than she had in years, and now all of a sudden rumors are going around that she was making out with Chris Martin at a U2 concert -- which, if true, HOW STUPID ARE YOU -- and she's all wan and gaunt and messy-haired and I'm afraid it's because she's spending her time darting between bushes and large trees, lest Gwyneth's trained army of guerilla GOOPers find her and kick her repeatedly until she promises to write a letter all about sin and repentance for this month's GOOP: BE. (As it is, I fully expect an installment all about skinny blondes are the devil unless they happen to live in England and hang out with Madonna, and then instructing us how to make a quiche out of organic free-range cruelty-free shoe leather, Malaysian beetroot cubes, and a copy of Blue Crush.)

Come on, Kate, cheer up and stay healthy. And, just in case it needs saying: Don't tongue the married man. I don't care how much you like his band, or whether Bono's lusty pipes induced madness. Personally, I feel like it can't be true because, again, REALLY STUPID on a number of levels. But she wouldn't be the first person in Hollywood to do something in public that seems ridiculous, so... let's just all hope that whatever's going on with her, it will eventually involve several five-course dinners and a hot-oil treatment.

Unfug It Up: Blake Lively

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Ah, good ol' Boobs Lively. She never disappoints.

Boobs Lively is a fairly apt nickname. They ARE lively. She has great boobs. Let's be frank: The world would see a lot more of mine if they were that awesome. But I'm not sure I'd do it in a top that's quite so "Excuse me, Groomsman No. 3, but the Mother of the Bride would like to see you in ladies' room. Bring champagne, LEAVE THE PANTS."

Of course, I highly doubt anyone in a wedding party, however voracious her appetite for spry man flesh, would have finished the outfit thusly:

Continue reading Unfug It Up: Blake Lively.

Fug's Anatomy

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harem pants

Hi Sandra! Nice to see you, too!

Don't forget to collect your cutlass from the Weaponry and Coat Check at the end of the evening! If someone tries to steal your doubloons, you're going to need something with which to swash your buckle.

Who Fugged It More: Zoe Saldana or Chloe Sevigny

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You know what's embarrassing?

Going out without remembering to button your top.

You know what's even MORE embarrassing?

Continue reading Who Fugged It More: Zoe Saldana or Chloe Sevigny.

Fugs and Pieces: Friday, November 13

Happy Friday, guys! Here's hoping your Friday the 13th is refreshingly free of Jason Voorhees and his hockey mask. Without further ado, here's this week's round-up of interesting bits and pieces designed to help you while away the last few hours at the office:

-- This week, Sesame Street turned 40. I can't imagine growing up in a world without Oscar the Grouch, my personal hero. Or the Count, obviously. Or Bert and Ernie, duh. I love Bert and Ernie. Well, and Big Bird. Who doesn't love Big Bird? People who are evil. And Grover. I LOVE Grover. And obviously Cookie Monster! And... well, we could be here all week, honestly, if I don't stop this now. (LA Times)

-- Speaking of Sesame Street, the National Post created this amazing piece featuring 101 of the show's characters, and their mini-bios. It's awesome. (National Post)

--- And of course, if you've never seen this video, in which Bert and Ernie try gangsta rap, you have not fully lived. It's some impressive-ass editing. (YouTube)

-- We're not sure we agree with every pick listed in "15 Literary Characters We'd Sleep With," particularly Holden Caulfield (yawn), Ned Nickerson (neutered), Carlisle Cullen (vampire; reason Edward exists to torment people with his stalkerdouchery), Gilbert Blythe (I know the Anne of Green Gables movies and books by heart, and while I cherish him, I just can't tap that, I'm sorry) -- but it's totally entertaining to discuss it. And think about it. And then discuss it some more. Seriously, NED NICKERSON? He's no better than a Ken doll. (Lemondrop.com)

-- SWEET. Turns out chocolate milk is good for you. I TOLD YOU, MOM! (The New York Times)

-- Speaking of chocolate milk, Lucky Magazine's gift guide devoted to presents that also benefit worthy causes features chocolate chip cookies. Cookies for charity? We're in. (Lucky Magazine)

-- We TOLD YOU Lady Gaga would wear those wacky McQueen hooves -- which she does, in her Bad Romance video. We love being right. Also, this video is batshit crazy. You should probably watch it. (Buzzfeed)

-- You might want one of these Mad Men t-shirts. (Don't look at those if you haven't seen this season's finale yet. Also, go watch the finale now. Seriously.) (Spread Shirt)

-- Unsurprisingly, the blog Chris March is writing about Project Runway for Lifetime is hilarious. (Lifetime)

-- WHY IS CARINE ROITFELD PANTSLESS? STOP THE MADNESS. (Refinery 29)

-- New York magazine has a great piece on why NBC is such a sinking ship right now. In a particularly good zinger, Mark Harris notes that if Jay Leno didn't kill the network, he's at least participating in an assisted suicide. A juicy read indeed. (NYMag.com)

-- I pray to the gods that you have viewed the full promo for James Franco's General Hospital debut, but if you haven't: DO IT. And even if you have, you might need to see it again. I may have clapped with glee when I saw it. (SoapNet)

-- And finally, an oldie but a goodie: What if When Harry Met Sally were...A STALKER HORROR MOVIE? Behold the trailer after the jump:

Continue reading Fugs and Pieces: Friday, November 13.

Lemonfug.com: Bests and Worsts from the 'Glamour' gala

This week, for the folks over at Lemondrop.com, we picked out a few (very few) pretty things and some screw-ups from the Women of the Year awards hosted by Glamour magazine. It was surprisingly hard to find stuff we liked, but two people made the cut; as for who we didn't like..

Regardless of your gestational situation, the general public should never be able to trace the contours of your belly button at an event involving heads of state. Or even the head of the PTA.

O, sweet mystery! Click here to read the full piece and find out whom we scolded.

NYFug.com: Fug Girls Book Club: Speidi's How to Be Famous

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The Hills

Why yes, haven't you heard? Speidi wrote a book called How to Be Famous. We read it so you don't have to. A highlight:

"Most Unexpected Dis: Kristin Cavallari
She may have introduced Spencer and Heidi -- making this entire escapade basically her fault, so THANKS A LOT, lady -- but that didn't stop them from misspelling her name in the acknowledgments. Burn."

Oh, people. Proofreading is so important, don't you know? To read the rest of our (rather extensive) take on the book -- including such vital findings as, "Quality of Author Photos" and "Likelihood They Wrote It Themselves" -- click on over to The Cut.

Delta Goodfug

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I can never remember if, as an American, I am SUPPOSED to know who Delta Goodrem is. You know what I mean. There are some celebrities -- like, say, any WAG but Posh -- who I know are truly famous only in the U.K. But then there are celebrities like Cat Deeley, who FEEL like they're only famous elsewhere but I only think that because I don't watch So You Think You Can Dance, and she's not out and about that much, and then I think about it and I realize that America totally knows who she is. But I am fairly sure that Ms Goodrem here is famous mostly in Australia, but CRAZILY SO there, as a super successful singer and someone who was on Neighbours. I rather wish she'd hit it bigger here in the States, because we'd see so much more of this:

It's like Peaches and Cream Barbie on top, C3P0 on the bottom. More of that CANNOT be a bad thing.

It's Always Fugly In Philadelphia

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So, I've never seen It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Everyone says it's very funny, but... look, I watch almost everything, but even I -- or more accurately, my DVR -- have to draw the line somewhere, and one easy way to do that is to draw it at Channels I Don't Immediately Know How To Find On My DirecTV Guide. So, sorry, F/X. When you stopped showing 90210 reruns lo those many years ago, I stopped knowing where you were.

Anyhoodle. Kaitlin Olson here is on the show, and apparently, she married one of her co-stars. That is very sweet. This, sadly, is not:

She has deployed stirrup leggings. Presumably, she did not ride to this event on horseback, and unless this is the weirdest event ever, she's not at the gynecologist. So there is no reason for stirrups. At all. (For proof, see the title of the tag on this entry.) If you think your dress is too short, here's a thought: Wear a different one. There is NO problem for which "stirrup pants" is the answer. Okay, maybe if you are being mugged in Forever 21 and the only thing you can reach with which to fight back at your assailant is something off the lycra rack, then I will allow that stirrup pants have a hidden purpose. But otherwise, step away from them, America. I would expect this kind of behavior from a young twenty-something Olsen with a twin, not an older, more elegant Olson with clean hair.

Fugbor Pains

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This is a new wrinkle.

Leggings and a t-shirt and wrestling boots we've seen before, but the corset on the OUTSIDE? Wow, it HAS been a long time since this girl wore a bra. Does UCLA offer an extension course in Undergarment Arts?

Fug and Fab: Kate Bosworth

Unfug It Up: Blake Lively

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Fug's Anatomy

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Who Fugged It More: Zoe Saldana or Chloe Sevigny

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Fugs and Pieces: Friday, November 13

Lemonfug.com: Bests and Worsts from the 'Glamour' gala

NYFug.com: Fug Girls Book Club: Speidi's How to Be Famous

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Delta Goodfug

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It's Always Fugly In Philadelphia

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Fugbor Pains

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