Go Fug Yourself: Because Fugly Is The New Pretty

Freaky Fug Friday VOTING COMMENCES

We got over 600 entries on Friday's haiku contest, and it turns out... you guys are really good at haiku. It was nearly impossible to narrow it down -- seriously. It took HOURS. I couldn't narrow it down to three, we had to go to five and if I hadn't wanted to get this post up in a timely fashion, I'd still be debating our finalists. Seriously. AWESOME. But here we are. Here's the original entry, if you need a refresher before you vote on the best haiku to describe this particular photo, or if you want to read all the entries:

Voting will be open for approximately 24 hours, and we'll announce the winner tomorrow afternoon. With no further ado:

HAIKU ONE, by J. Alexandra:

Hole-punched cream outfit!
True English understatement:
Bai Ling's would be red.

HAIKU TWO, by Amber:

"So I sez to 'im:
Wha, ain't seen a lady smoke?"
Well, you still haven't.

HAIKU THREE, by Jennifer:

All the world now knows
I dress in House of Funke
Almost Never-Nude

HAIKU FOUR, by Heather (not GFY Heather):

Lovely Lady V
You ooze a certain something...
Let's pretend it's charm

HAIKU FIVE, by Laurie:

Oh, did I mis-hear
you? You didn't say to rock
out with my rocks out?

poll by twiigs.com

Fug or Fab: Lily Allen

Fug file:

We got an email from one of our eagle-eyed readers this morning regarding Lily Allen here. Our reader noted that Lily looked surprisingly cute:

I'm busy reading 600 haiku right now, so I'm just going to let the inmates take over this particular asylum:

poll by twiigs.com

The Fuggettes

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I have to give Shingai Shoniwa of the Noisettes props for several reasons:

I really like their album.
The Noisettes recently appeared on an episode of One Tree Hill, which has, thus far this season, also reintroduced us to Center Stage's Jody Sawyer -- whose character is, I'm pretty sure, secretly actually dead -- and the concept that one can use Red Vines to legitimately menace someone. Anyone who will appear on that show is extra okay by me, and I'm including Kevin Federline in that.
She's wearing the garnish from a daiquiri in her hair. Someone who will cheerfully pose for the cameras while literally wearing fruit as a headdress is obviously amusing.
Once you get bored of eating her headgear, you can practice your Gordian knot-work on her skirt!
So, to recap, this ensemble provides both your daily allowance of vitamin C, and a helpful brain exercise that also keeps your fingers at their most dexterous! Win-win!

Fug Row

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Oh honey NO

[Photos: Splash News]

LO BOSWORTH: Hey, Audrina.

AUDRINA PATRIDGE: Hi, Lo!

LO: Is that your Halloween costume?

AUDRINA: What are you talking about?

LO: So, that would be a "no."

AUDRINA: You don't like my outfit?

LO: Um. You look like a Poison groupie.

AUDRINA:...So?

LO: Well, if you don't understand why that's bad, I certainly don't care to explain it to you.

AUDRINA: You're so uptight. You'd think someone who earns like $100,000 an episode for literally doing nothing would be cheerier.

LO: What do you mean, "doing nothing"?

AUDRINA: I have to have the cameras at my fake job at the record label AND I had to have the cameras all over my stupid relationship with stupid Justin-Bobby, which never gets any less embarrassing. I EARN MY MONEY. YOU don't have a job OR a boyfriend on the show.

LO: Well, those things are personal.

AUDRINA: YOU'RE ON A REALITY SHOW ABOUT PEOPLE'S PERSONAL LIVES.

LO: Foolish child. SOMEONE has to ask leading questions about what happened at a variety of contrived, soft-scripted social events. Besides, you're just evading the real question: what's happening on the front of your shirt:

Continue reading Fug Row.

Fug or Fab: Whitney Port

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pink

I suspect that, from the neck up, this picture could be secretly introduced into any of our families' photo albums from the late 70s/extremely early 80s, and no one would notice it wasn't an original.

[Photos: Splash News]

She looks like an incredibly well-groomed extra on Freaks and Geeks, and while my original reaction to this was to snottily wrinkle my nose and mark it for DESTRUCTION, the more I look at it, the more I kind of like it. Possibly because I've now been staring at it for over an hour and I've come to feel some sympathy for my photographic captor. I'm so easily talked into things, I swear. If I ever get kidnapped, I give it four days before I'm making those assholes grilled cheese sandwiches.

poll by twiigs.com

Women's Murder Fug

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I Don't Get It,
WTF

This is perplexing to me.

Sometimes at Fashion Week, any number of publications will run articles in which they ask designers what inspired their collections, and those articles are always entertaining, because the answers are usually like, "sweat, humidity, and grime," or "that moment between waking and sleep: ethereal dream fog," or "the futility of our meaningless existence. Also, oranges." And then Michael Kors will pop in and be like, "pretty ladies on yachts!" and you realize that, even if he is extremely tan, at least that man is honest. I really want someone to grab Angie Harmon and ask her what the inspiration was behind this outfit. My guess would be, "avant garde Robin Hood," or "ponchos meet prosthetic-limb boots," or even, "DESPAIR."

Fugs and Pieces: Friday, Oct. 23

-- Jessica Simpson and GERARD BUTLER? STOP, CHILD. JUST STOP. Seriously, that girl doesn't just wear Bad Idea jeans -- she apparently is swaddled in Bad Idea panties, bras, and t-shirts too. I just want to, like, take her away somewhere and have her sex drive disabled for a year or something, so that she stops gravitating to men who are guaranteed to make her cry. (Celebuzz)

-- It seems the fine people at Twitter are making wine. No, really. Wine. It's to benefit literacy -- which makes perfect sense, really, because what better way to get children to want to read than to get them drunk? And also, it would seem to pave the way for lots of drunk Twittering, and we all know being blitzed off your tree is the cornerstone of any good social-networking service. The New Yorker's Cartoon Lounge blog has some amusing thoughts about other companies taking a similarly creative approach to marketing. (Fledgling Wine and The New Yorker)

-- Didn't we all learn from Joe Simpson that it's really pervy to talk about your daughter's boobs? (People)

-- I love Tetris on my phone...and on my outfits. (Dress a Day)

-- This Bronson Pinchot interview makes me do the dance of joy. Because it's SO DISHY and honest. Turns out Balki is fascinating. (The A.V. Club)

-- Yes, you do want to watch the highlights from The Joan Collins Makeover Hour. She says the words "muffin top," blames the internet for people looking like hell, and makes people put on Elizabethan ruffs. (YouTube)

-- Bai Ling discusses her seven favorite love scenes. What, you thought she'd be talking string theory? (Cinematical)

-- This Mental Floss quiz asks you to differentiate between outfits Claudia Kishi once wore in The Babysitters Club, and things celebrities have worn (described in the style of BSC). If you've spent any time at all on GFY prior to RIGHT NOW, the celeb outfits will not be foreign to you. Old -- I think this ran originally while we were out of town -- but still amusing. (Mental Floss)

-- Remember how we were originally bewailing having no idea what was going to happen on Mischa Barton's Awful-But-Canceled The Beautiful Life:TBL? Ask and ye shall receive spoilers. (Hollywood Crush)

-- McSweeney's still rules. "It's decorative gourd season, motherf%$^ckers!" (McSweeney's)

Fugmilla Belle

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Remember when Camilla Belle was going to be real famous, because she was dating one of the Jonaii, and she was in that awful movie about cavemen? Yeah, that didn't work out so well. Nor, I would argue, has this:

Unless, of course, she actually IS an ice dancer, and she and her flaxen-haired Russian emigre partner are about to perform a sweeping routine based on Swan Lake, involving all kinds of limbs going all kinds of places most peoples limbs are incapable of reaching. In that case, I'm ALL OVER IT, but those heels are going to be hard to skate in.

Evan Fugchel Wood

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Apparently, Dita Von Teese and her skull-raping pearl galaxy were at the same event as Evan Rachel Wood -- a.k.a. I Dated Marilyn Manson Right After Dita Did And Kind Of Turned Myself Into Her. Awkward.

I hope they bumped into each other. I imagine if they had, Evan might have said, "I'm interested to hear if your headpiece thinks Pluto should be a planet," and then Dita probably said, "How nice that you obviously bought your caftan from someone's Etsy store."

[Photos: Splash News]

And then Evan would be all, "Like I care what you think, ANDROMEDA," and Dita would say, "If I tug your cord, does a butler come running to bring us tea?" Evan would stick her nose up in the air and say, "It worked with our ex-boyfriend," and then Dita would be like, "Oh, no you did NOT, pipsqueak -- you do NOT get to insult me when you are wearing this much fringe," and then Evan would turn around:

Continue reading Evan Fugchel Wood.

Dita Fug Teese

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Well, we HAVE just been saying that we wish Dita Von Teese would branch out with her styling.

Falling headfirst into some kid's Science Fair project about the solar system wasn't quite what we envisioned, but maybe the resulting brain-stab will unlock a bunch of other new ideas.

Freaky Fug Friday VOTING COMMENCES

Fug or Fab: Lily Allen

Fug file:

The Fuggettes

Fug file:

Fug Row

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Fug or Fab: Whitney Port

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Women's Murder Fug

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Fugs and Pieces: Friday, Oct. 23

Fugmilla Belle

Fug file:

Evan Fugchel Wood

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Dita Fug Teese

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