Go Fug Yourself: Because Fugly Is The New Pretty

Fug or Fab: Christina Ricci

This dress on Christina Ricci is a prime example of something that, for whatever reason, triggered a weird mental association for me and now I can't judge it on its own merits.

First, I thought the sparkly strip looked like the silhouette of a bejewelled bra being flung through the air. Then it evoked the stripe of glitter that appears somewhere different on Mariah Carey's body in every scene of Glitter (because that movie is a bastion of subtlety). And now all I can think of is That F'ing Movie, with horrible Max Beesley playing her love interest and the terrible acting and boring, boring story that's not even FUN-bad but rather merely BAD-bad, except for that one hilarious scene where the video director says, "Is she black? Is she white? I don't know. I need to see more of her breasts." Which I guess brings me back to the bra imagery. Thank you, Glitter, for bringing me full circle at least, even if I can't get back those two hours of my life.

None of which helps me evaluate this.

poll by twiigs.com

Sophie Fuglkiner

Fug file:

Oh honey NO,
WTF

This is Sophie Falkiner. The best I can figure it out, she is an Australian model who plays the Vanna White role on the Australian Wheel of Fortune. (For some reason, I assumed Vanna White was Vanna White in every Wheel of Fortune EVER, although that is obviously not possible due to the rules of time and space, so this blows my mind.)

In keeping with that, I have a puzzle for her:

W_F ARE Y_U WEARI_G? _H H_ _ EY, _ _

Can't Fug the Moonlight

Fug file:

accessories to the crime

Somewhere in the enclaves of Malibu, Eddie Cibrian's ex-wife is looking at this picture and composing an enraged statement about it on her Blackberry, to be sent to US Weekly at her earliest convenience (aka, as soon as she finishes writing it).

It surely says something along the lines of, "I can't BELIEVE LeAnn would wear those incredibly hideous tights when she knows that I have those same hideous tights myself. She's obviously stalking me and I plan to file for another restraining order. By the way, did I ever mention that Eddie has three nipples. HE DOES. HE DESERVES THAT THIRD NIPPLE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT'S THE MARK OF THE DEVIL. THE CHEATING DEVIL! BURN HIM! BURN HER! BURN THEM ALL! BURN THE WITCHES!!!!!!!!!!! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE."

(I mean, the tights ARE seriously bad -- especially with LeAnn's hideous open-toed clodhoppers -- but really I'm just relieved to have found myself an opportunity to point out that Ex-Mrs Cibrian truly has released more angry statements to the press about her failed marriage than any wronged woman, ever. I mean, I feel you, girl. Infidelity is as ugly as that outfit. And these two have been irritatingly and publicly smug. But what I'm really trying to say is that revenge is a dish best served cold and IN NEAR SILENCE. When they both awake to find their shampoo has been replaced by Nair and their body lotion with self-tanner, you need PLAUSIBLE DENIABLITY. You know what I mean? Ahem.)

The House Fugly

Fug file:

bad hair

Can I just reiterate how much I hate Katharine McPhee with the short, blonde hair?

She looks like she's playing one of the Dixie Chicks in a Lifetime movie.

Fug Moon/Better Played, Kristen Stewart

Fug file:

ROBERT PATTINSON: Come on, everyone. I DARE YOU.

KRISTEN STEWART: Dare them to what? Ask if we're sleeping together?

TAYLOR LAUTNER: Oh, please God, no. I so don't care if you're sleeping together.

K.STEW: Right? BORING. I'm not even interested in whether we're sleeping together, at this point.

R.PATTZ: I'm so bored of us that my boredom comes back around to being arousal.

K.STEW: Ew. Not mine.

R.PATTZ: No?

K.STEW: LOOK AT YOU. I am not sleeping with you again, by which I mean for the first time, until you shower and shave.

TAYLOR: THANK YOU. It had to be said.

R.PATTZ: Well, I'm not sleeping with YOU ever again, or for the first time, until you go back to wearing Converse and tight jeans and not brushing your hair. You look like you're playing dress-up in Zoe Saldana's closet.

K.STEW: I think I look nice. And clean. And event-appropriate. AND CLEAN.

R.PATTZ: No no, I like my girls to look troubled and ill-rested and as though they're still coated in the sweat from our fervent horizontal joyride. You know, like me.

TAYLOR: SERIOUSLY. PLEASE STOP SENDING ME TO THESE THINGS WITHOUT DAKOTA FANNING. I AM NOT JOKING.

Fug or Fab: Rihanna/Take A Fug

Fug file:

Leg City

There apparently is part of me that's JUST OCD enough that I see Rihanna's dress dragging on pavement, and I think, "AAAH. It's going to be DIRTY and RUINED."

[Photos: Splash News]

It would be a shame to have this thing pocked with brown spots before it even makes it inside the Glamour Woman of the Year awards. Part of me is in love with the crazy architecture. But another part of me thinks it looks like dramatically wayward office clutter -- a Seussian filing nightmare. And what is the point of that pocket? It's so tight and tiny, you can't actually keep anything in there unless you want everyone to see what it is. Okay, MAYBE a couple bucks for the bathroom attendant. But if you want to keep your lip gloss there, everyone is going to think you have a strange cylindrical pelvic tumor.

So I can't decide: fab drama, or fugtastic Alice-style adventure through the bottom of a bourbon glass on the Mad Hatter's desk?

I am much more clear on my feelings about another recent RiRi gown:

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Rihanna/Take A Fug.

Freaky Fug Friday: Voting Extension

Wow, this is the closest fug contest we've had yet: The leading reader song parody is only ahead by ten percent, and the others are all within one or two of each other. Since the post went up relatively late yesterday, we're going to keep voting open another day. So hop along to this post right here and revisit the brilliant parodies -- two "I Kissed A Girl" rewrites, a Perry Como song, and the "Super Bowl Shuffle" starring William "The Refrigerator" Perry -- and rock the poll with your opinion. The winner will be announced tomorrow.

Who Fugged It More: Mary Alice Stephenson or Katherine Heigl

Fug file:

Remember the time Katherine Heigl wore this? And we all chatted about it at length and it was so fun?

Well, except maybe for Katie. Whatever, she can go cry on a pile of cash and then go kick Dempsey in the shins, or whatever she does when she's feeling persecuted. ANYWAY, someone's trotted that old girl out again. I'd pretend it was a MYSTERY who, but her name's in the title up there. See?

Continue reading Who Fugged It More: Mary Alice Stephenson or Katherine Heigl.

Fug House

Fug file:

Aw, how sweet:

Bob Saget and that pretty girl in the awesome coat took dragged that poor conjunctivitis-afflicted grandma out to a party. What a tale she'll have to tell the rest of the ladies at the home!

20fug2

Fug file:

I have a lot to say about 2012. For one thing, when I saw the preview, it literally took me like the entire duration to realize that it was actually starring John Cusack and not Nicolas Cage. That movie SHOULD be starring Nic Cage, and goodness knows poor Nic could use the cash. (Those shrunken, possibly human heads don't buy themselves.) The other thing is, I wish I could have been in the meetings where they discussed which iconic American landmarks should crash into each other. "I know! The White House can crash into the Grand Canyon!" "That makes no sense, you FOOL. The Washington Monument should impale the Hollywood sign!" "That's RIDICULOUS! The Lincoln Memorial should smash into the Bellagio!" "Don't be INSANE. Mount Rushmore should crack over the Statue of Liberty's head!" What I'm saying is, the movie looks like lunacy, but it might secretly be terrible, unrealistic, scenery-chewing fun: after all, no one laughed harder or enjoyed herself more at Poseidon than did I. Anyway, the role of The Girl in this movie -- often taken by Emmy Rossum, as in the aforementioned Poseidon, and of course in Run! It's the Weather (aka, Day After Tomorrow) -- is being played by Amanda Peet, who for some reason has, thus far, appeared at both premieres wearing white. Either she's feeling real virginal lately or someone just learned about the magical powers of bleach. Behold:

I mean, this is pretty. A bit boring and she kind of looks like an under-styled debutante but it's inoffensive at worst. I also enjoy that the car on display at this event has been styled to look as though it crashed through the wall. DRUNK-DRIVING WILL BE RAMPANT IN 2012!!!

Being drunk might also explain THIS:

Continue reading 20fug2.

Fug or Fab: Christina Ricci

Sophie Fuglkiner

Fug file:

Can't Fug the Moonlight

Fug file:

The House Fugly

Fug file:

Fug Moon/Better Played, Kristen Stewart

Fug file:

Fug or Fab: Rihanna/Take A Fug

Fug file:

Freaky Fug Friday: Voting Extension

Who Fugged It More: Mary Alice Stephenson or Katherine Heigl

Fug file:

Fug House

Fug file:

20fug2

Fug file:

Search

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY

Featured Brands

Featured Searches