Juliette Lewis Archives

November 5, 2009

MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Juliette Lewis

I don't know how to break this to you, so I'm just going to come out and say it: Juliette and the Licks apparently broke up back in JANUARY. Why was I not notified, Universe? This means we may never get to hear her perform such instant classics as "Sticky Honey," in which she wails with such unbridled yearning, "Sticky sticky sticky honey // Man lands on Mars // Man rips off his broken parts."

[Photo: WENN.com]

The GOOD news is, it doesn't appear to have affected her aesthetic yet.

Also, her new band -- The New Romantiques -- isn't wasting any time getting to the crazy. Its song is called "Suicide Dive Bombers," which Juliette said, quite seriously, is a love letter to all the fans who keep coming to watch in her perform. And it's true. Nothing bespeaks the heart's most precious emotion than a song named after terrorists that includes the words, "Now you see this path has all been laid out... littered with guillotine and razorblades. I lost my mind more than once." If that's love, then can't WAIT to see what comes out when she decides to write a lyrical hate letter.

September 30, 2009

Fug Born Killers

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Let's not lie to ourselves:

We're looking at the stars of what could potentially be the greatest buddy comedy reality show ever. Mark Burnett, CALL ME.

September 28, 2009

Fugliette and the Fugs

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So, I've never heard Juliette (Lewis) and the Licks perform, but I did decide to look up some of their song titles -- I mean, any woman who gets up on stage looking like this has to be crooning some doozies:

[Photo: WENN.com]

And indeed, in the stirring "Death of a Whore," Juliette sings, "I felt like nothing was real all tattered and blue like a gutted sheep. And oh, I'm having visions again." That's kind of close to how I felt when I saw this picture. It felt like a hallucinatory dream caused by falling asleep atop copies of Lord of the Flies and Where The Wild Things Are.

Just for kicks, let's check out the rest of the outfit:

Continue reading Fugliette and the Fugs.

July 15, 2009

Natural Born Fuggers

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I don't know about you, but I'm in a pretty good mood right now. And I suspect that THIS is why:

[Photo: WENN.com]

Okay. We've got sequined pants, a pleather crop top, fingerless gloves, a bunch of ties hanging off a belt, a freaky feathery bolero jacket AND bright blue eye make-up. This is like a costume from a musical adaptation of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, called Mad? Max! crossed with some kind of hipster belly-dancing experience -- and if you don't think the hipsters are going to co-opt belly-dancing eventually, and in a way beyond just fitness classes, you're wrong. Also, I guess I'm officially old now that I'm referring to people as "hipsters" like that crotchety neighbor who is always calling to you across the street to ask you to explain something on the iPhone. But let's be honest. Not only would I see that musical, I would enthusiastically recommend it to others before heading off to my new favorite dive bar. They have belly dancing AND Pabst on tap! Thanks for the good times in advance, Juliette!

March 6, 2009

Fugliette Lewfug

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I think all the celebrities are as zonked and thankful it's Friday as I am -- it feels a lot like scraping the barrel today in terms of finding really nutrageous fug. As it is, I'm left to ponder whether Juliette Lewis's coat is secretly fabulous, or faintly mangy and confusing.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

You have to admire a giant fur coat that appears to have sprouted feathers. It almost looks like it's going through puberty, and is well on its way to becoming a pimply, bratty, closed-off adolescent jacket that slams the door of its closet and refuses to speak except in surly grunts, before finally maturing into an adult coat that knows how to boil an egg and balance a checkbook and get its driver's license.

Although from the back it looks more full-grown:

Continue reading Fugliette Lewfug.

November 18, 2008

Cape Fug

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I am kind of in love with Juliette Lewis now:

No joke, I am 100% sure Joan Collins owns this and has worn it in public -- sans, of course, the flesh-toned fringed shoes that make it look as though Juliette's feet are coming off in strips. And it takes a lot of woman to quasi -- ONLY QUASI -- pull off a sequined jumpsuit. But I am beginning to see a method to her madness: the Juliette of yore was often seen in skintight polyester jumpsuits, like a sweat-stained superhero fallen on hard times. And in comparison, this -- although not entirely flattering to the hips and thighs (and god knows, if she looks Not Her Best in this, what would happen to the rest of us?) -- almost looks elegant.

poll by twiigs.com

October 31, 2008

Fugliette Fugis

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formal shorts

I kind of love Juliette Lewis.

I mean, yes. She's wearing tights under the world's snuggest pair of formal shorts and a shirt last seen on a particularly emo 19th century vampire, but she seems SO PLEASED about it. Plus, you know that if you stuck in an elevator with her, you'd have a good time. You'd probably emerge from the lift with a contract to sing back up in her band. And how could that possibly go wrong?

October 21, 2008

Fug It!

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bad hair

This is where Juliette Lewis' carefully messy bedhead addiction really bites her in the ass.

Seriously, in this photo it looks like she just opened the door to room service totally starkers, with last night's makeup smearing down her inner-eyes and her hair styled entirely by a wicked bed-rocking carnal romp. When I saw this photo I actually hurried to find the full-length one, just in case. Not that a girl can't wear strapless dresses on the offchance someone snaps a mid-range photo of her looking nude; rather that, I mean, this is JULIETTE LEWIS. She's a professional kook. If I saw this picture of Kate Walsh, or something, I probably wouldn't have paused. But with Juliette, there is always that slight chance she WILL wander out to the party in her birthday suit, or at least that whatever fabric she IS wearing will be crazy or fugly or prone to awkward sweat stains.

Which is a shame, because in the full photo, she looks fine:

Continue reading Fug It!.

September 9, 2008

New York Fugshion Week: Day Four

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Whoever told Little J this haircut was a good idea should be shot.

We would have said something ourselves when we saw her yesterday at Chris Benz, but we had Eva Amurri's Hammer pants to contend with.

Also in the mix: our girl A Dubs skipped Proenza to see her hot sexy tennis player friend/secret lover Roger Federer win his fifth US Open. PS: She really didn't miss much. Except Nicole Richie. And Kayne West talking about his blog. It's going to be so much fun when he starts guest-fugging for us.

We went to Diesel again this year, and witnessed much canoodling and also Juliette Lewis.

And, finally, we saw Renee Zellweger at -- where else? -- Carolina Herrera and, sadly, were not impressed. STOP THE BOTOX MADNESS, RENEE.

June 10, 2008

Fugliette and Fugeron

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[Photo: INFDaily.com]

JULIETTE LEWIS: Oh my GOOOOOOD, it's YOOOU! Heyyyyy!

CAMERON RICHARDSON: Hey, Juliette. That's a nice... bra. Is your shirt supposed to be open, or did you just unzip it?

JULIETTE: So, like, WHAAAT is the deal with you? Are you dead?

CAMERON: Dead? Excuse me?

JULIETTE: On Lost! Are you dead? Why are you hanging out with Jack's dad?

CAMERON: I think there's been a misunderstanding.

JULIETTE: And what happened with your character on Dawson's Creek? Pacey was so cute.

CAMERON: It's...

JULIETTE: What was it like going from that show to Laguna Beach, though? Was it, like, totally rock-and-roll BITCHIN', or was it a bummer?

CAMERON: I'm not any of those people.

JULIETTE: Whaaaaat? You're not Kate Hudson?

CAMERON: Kate Hudson isn't any of those people, either.

JULIETTE: Duuude, my crochet hat must be too tight today! I just thought Kate was here doing some Method study on what it's like to be a waitress at El Wacko Taco.

CAMERON: Nooo....

JULIETTE: So sorry! Can I at least get two pitchers of margaritas for my table? And some guac. It's soooooo soothing on your face on a hot night.

CAMERON: Look, lady... wait, hang on, I would actually kind of love to see that. Be right back.

Juliette Lewis

MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Juliette Lewis

Fug Born Killers

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Fugliette and the Fugs

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Natural Born Fuggers

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Fugliette Lewfug

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Cape Fug

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Fugliette Fugis

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Fug It!

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New York Fugshion Week: Day Four

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Fugliette and Fugeron

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