Juliette Lewis Archives

March 6, 2009

Fugliette Lewfug

Fug file:

I think all the celebrities are as zonked and thankful it's Friday as I am -- it feels a lot like scraping the barrel today in terms of finding really nutrageous fug. As it is, I'm left to ponder whether Juliette Lewis's coat is secretly fabulous, or faintly mangy and confusing.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

You have to admire a giant fur coat that appears to have sprouted feathers. It almost looks like it's going through puberty, and is well on its way to becoming a pimply, bratty, closed-off adolescent jacket that slams the door of its closet and refuses to speak except in surly grunts, before finally maturing into an adult coat that knows how to boil an egg and balance a checkbook and get its driver's license.

Although from the back it looks more full-grown:

Continue reading Fugliette Lewfug.

November 18, 2008

Cape Fug

Fug file:

I am kind of in love with Juliette Lewis now:

No joke, I am 100% sure Joan Collins owns this and has worn it in public -- sans, of course, the flesh-toned fringed shoes that make it look as though Juliette's feet are coming off in strips. And it takes a lot of woman to quasi -- ONLY QUASI -- pull off a sequined jumpsuit. But I am beginning to see a method to her madness: the Juliette of yore was often seen in skintight polyester jumpsuits, like a sweat-stained superhero fallen on hard times. And in comparison, this -- although not entirely flattering to the hips and thighs (and god knows, if she looks Not Her Best in this, what would happen to the rest of us?) -- almost looks elegant.

poll by twiigs.com

October 31, 2008

Fugliette Fugis

Fug file:

formal shorts

I kind of love Juliette Lewis.

I mean, yes. She's wearing tights under the world's snuggest pair of formal shorts and a shirt last seen on a particularly emo 19th century vampire, but she seems SO PLEASED about it. Plus, you know that if you stuck in an elevator with her, you'd have a good time. You'd probably emerge from the lift with a contract to sing back up in her band. And how could that possibly go wrong?

October 21, 2008

Fug It!

Fug file:

bad hair

This is where Juliette Lewis' carefully messy bedhead addiction really bites her in the ass.

Seriously, in this photo it looks like she just opened the door to room service totally starkers, with last night's makeup smearing down her inner-eyes and her hair styled entirely by a wicked bed-rocking carnal romp. When I saw this photo I actually hurried to find the full-length one, just in case. Not that a girl can't wear strapless dresses on the offchance someone snaps a mid-range photo of her looking nude; rather that, I mean, this is JULIETTE LEWIS. She's a professional kook. If I saw this picture of Kate Walsh, or something, I probably wouldn't have paused. But with Juliette, there is always that slight chance she WILL wander out to the party in her birthday suit, or at least that whatever fabric she IS wearing will be crazy or fugly or prone to awkward sweat stains.

Which is a shame, because in the full photo, she looks fine:

Continue reading Fug It!.

September 9, 2008

New York Fugshion Week: Day Four

Fug file:

Whoever told Little J this haircut was a good idea should be shot.

We would have said something ourselves when we saw her yesterday at Chris Benz, but we had Eva Amurri's Hammer pants to contend with.

Also in the mix: our girl A Dubs skipped Proenza to see her hot sexy tennis player friend/secret lover Roger Federer win his fifth US Open. PS: She really didn't miss much. Except Nicole Richie. And Kayne West talking about his blog. It's going to be so much fun when he starts guest-fugging for us.

We went to Diesel again this year, and witnessed much canoodling and also Juliette Lewis.

And, finally, we saw Renee Zellweger at -- where else? -- Carolina Herrera and, sadly, were not impressed. STOP THE BOTOX MADNESS, RENEE.

June 10, 2008

Fugliette and Fugeron

Fug file:

[Photo: INFDaily.com]

JULIETTE LEWIS: Oh my GOOOOOOD, it's YOOOU! Heyyyyy!

CAMERON RICHARDSON: Hey, Juliette. That's a nice... bra. Is your shirt supposed to be open, or did you just unzip it?

JULIETTE: So, like, WHAAAT is the deal with you? Are you dead?

CAMERON: Dead? Excuse me?

JULIETTE: On Lost! Are you dead? Why are you hanging out with Jack's dad?

CAMERON: I think there's been a misunderstanding.

JULIETTE: And what happened with your character on Dawson's Creek? Pacey was so cute.

CAMERON: It's...

JULIETTE: What was it like going from that show to Laguna Beach, though? Was it, like, totally rock-and-roll BITCHIN', or was it a bummer?

CAMERON: I'm not any of those people.

JULIETTE: Whaaaaat? You're not Kate Hudson?

CAMERON: Kate Hudson isn't any of those people, either.

JULIETTE: Duuude, my crochet hat must be too tight today! I just thought Kate was here doing some Method study on what it's like to be a waitress at El Wacko Taco.

CAMERON: Nooo....

JULIETTE: So sorry! Can I at least get two pitchers of margaritas for my table? And some guac. It's soooooo soothing on your face on a hot night.

CAMERON: Look, lady... wait, hang on, I would actually kind of love to see that. Be right back.

March 10, 2008

Cape Fug

Fug file:

But she looks so happy!

And I'm so happy she's so happy. However, I'm less happy about having concrete proof that people are actually wearing bloomers, which I believe I last saw dangling from the end of my left hand at Urban Outfitters, while I myself was wearing a disdainful sneer. On the other hand, I am THRILLED she decided that hot pink leggings were the way to go, because I know that while there are 34-year old women who still believe in the flattering properties of the leggings they once wore to a JEM and the Holograms-themed roller-skating party in fifth grade, I will always have a job.

October 30, 2007

Fugliette Lewis

Can you imagine how different Brad Pitt's life would be if he had ended up with Juliette Lewis as planned, instead of breaking up with her and then getting with Gwynnie and Aniston and Angelina?

I mean, maybe it'd be relatively similar -- he'd still be hot, after all. Maybe the big difference is that Jennifer Aniston might not have gotten her reputation as the sad, tragic, cuckolded waif. But do we think Brad Pitt would've ended up doing all the relief work and adopting or fathering a Benetton ad's worth of beautiful babies if he'd decided to betrothe himself to this woman?

[Photo: infdaily.com]

Nothing against Juliette Lewis -- I don't know her; maybe she really likes relief work and adopting children, or maybe her tears can cure cancer or something -- but I feel like if he'd gone this route for life, Brad Pitt might be taking a break from showbiz to hang out in the front row of all her concerts wearing spandex pants, stained tank tops, and a mullet. I guess the benefit of this outfit is that Juliette can't work up any of her trademark performance pit-stains, and I don't even hate the pants if I focus hard enough and ignore the Victoria's Secret Swimwear style bathing suit she's wearing under them, which I imagine will make it very difficult for her to go to the bathroom later unless she's wearing a Poise Pad. But I do find myself wondering why she was in such dire need of knee pads.

Perhaps she thought they were a precautionary measure:

Continue reading Fugliette Lewis.

August 20, 2007

Fugliette and the Licks

I don't know what Juliette Lewis has done to make me think, when first catching a glimpse of this photo, "did Bret Michaels dye his hair?", but it's either incredibly right or very, very wrong:

I particularly enjoy the Brooch As Navel accoutrement, which, admittedly, Bret Michaels would never wear, as I imagine he doesn't think much about accessorizing his navel through his shirt. He's too busy thinking about roses, thorns, and how it's impossible to have one without the other, but that, despite the thorns, it ain't nothing but a good time. I also should have know this was NOT Bret Michaels, as he -- as I've learned from watching Rock of Love -- is never without a cowboy hat, a bandanna, a bandanna AND a cowboy hat, or similar headgear.

Oh, wait:

Nope, too over the top. Although this will come in handy when Juliette leaves rock 'n' roll to return to acting, in a role written just for her. Namely, as the wackiest member of a drum line in a gross-out college comedy about marching bands called Don't Rain On My Parade. Her unrequited love for the dreamy drum major will provide the appropriate amount of pathos for the film, and the final moments, when she at last finds happiness in the arms of the mascot, will provide the heart.

August 26, 2005

Celebrities Who Think They're Musical: Part Insanity Infinity

Fug file:

I love Jem and the Holograms as much as the next person, but I don't think we need a live-action replica:

Why is it that trousers are always the first thing to go? Does no one respect the pants?

Juliette Lewis

Fugliette Lewfug

Fug file:

Cape Fug

Fug file:

Fugliette Fugis

Fug file:

Fug It!

Fug file:

New York Fugshion Week: Day Four

Fug file:

Fugliette and Fugeron

Fug file:

Cape Fug

Fug file:

Fugliette Lewis

Fugliette and the Licks

Celebrities Who Think They're Musical: Part Insanity Infinity

Fug file:

Search

WHAT THE FUG?!

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY

Featured Brands

Featured Searches