Juliette Lewis Archives

November 16, 2009

Freaky Fug Friday: Juliette Lewis Voting Edition

Insanely difficult, it was, to
Favor any entries above all.
Really, Fug Nation, you're too
Excellent, erudite, and elegant for your own good.
At long last, we
Kinged five poems
In a long afternoon of reading and laughing at your
Nifty submissions, sharp and savage as a
Guillotine but without the messy cleanup.
Lewis, Juliette,
O mistress of nutballs,
Verily you bring us glee with your
Eccentric, eclectic
Yards of suffocating, swaddling fabric.
Obviously, we can't thank our
Unusually hilarious readers enough for making us
Giggle with their take on Juliette hiding
Under her curtain the color of shame. We hope
You enjoy the finalists we chose, but you should go read them all, because
Such genius and wit from everyone deserves a moment in the sun.

THE PICTURE:

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

THE FINALISTS: After the jump.

Continue reading Freaky Fug Friday: Juliette Lewis Voting Edition.

November 13, 2009

Freaky Fug Friday: Juliette Lewis

Fug file:

performances

It's your own fault, Fug Nation. You've proven so adept at every challenge we've thrown at you, we're going to get a little advanced on you this week. Yes, that's right. You heard me. It's time... for Juliette Lewis.

Remember, all submissions must be made in the comments section -- as in, NOT via e-mail -- by 10 p.m. California time on Sunday.

THE PICTURE:

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

THE FUGEE: Actress and wannabe rocker Juliette Lewis.

THE EXTRA DETAILS: Juliette, formerly the lead singer of Juliette and the Licks, now fronts a band called The New Romantiques. You may also remember her from the time she wore corn rows in her hair at the Oscars, back when she was dating Brad Pitt. We have an extensive archive of her past transgressions, some of which mention her magical song lyrics. In this photo, she's performing in Munich.

THE CHALLENGE: Fug this outfit via an acrostic poem. "What is an acrostic poem?" you may wonder. I'm so glad you asked. An acrostic poem is one in which the first letter or syllable of each line itself conveys a message or spells a relevant word. For instance, the obvious one here would be to write an eight-line poem in which the first letters of each line combine to spell JULIETTE (well, okay, the obvious one might be a ten-line poem where the first letter of each line combine to spell CRAZYPANTS, but whatever). Here are some examples of acrostic poems, which may be helpful to you in figuring out how you want to do this. You don't have to make yours as long as some of those are; they're just good showcases for the format. Consider it like sending a coded message through verse. So really, we're acting just like an episode of Alias. JUST LIKE IT. (Actually, if you read that Wikipedia page, you'll learn that last month, Arnold Schwarzenegger reportedly used an acrostic to convey a rude message to the California State Assembly that rhymes with "Duck Fu." That is... hilarious.)

THE REMINDER:

Can you guys
Remember to post
All entries by 10 p.m. Sunday in the
Zesty comments section?
You guys know the drill.
Please keep it clean
And in the vein of the site itself.
Now, go forth this Friday the 13th and
Totally kick the ass of this
Sad acrostic message.

November 5, 2009

MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Juliette Lewis

I don't know how to break this to you, so I'm just going to come out and say it: Juliette and the Licks apparently broke up back in JANUARY. Why was I not notified, Universe? This means we may never get to hear her perform such instant classics as "Sticky Honey," in which she wails with such unbridled yearning, "Sticky sticky sticky honey // Man lands on Mars // Man rips off his broken parts."

[Photo: WENN.com]

The GOOD news is, it doesn't appear to have affected her aesthetic yet.

Also, her new band -- The New Romantiques -- isn't wasting any time getting to the crazy. Its song is called "Suicide Dive Bombers," which Juliette said, quite seriously, is a love letter to all the fans who keep coming to watch in her perform. And it's true. Nothing bespeaks the heart's most precious emotion than a song named after terrorists that includes the words, "Now you see this path has all been laid out... littered with guillotine and razorblades. I lost my mind more than once." If that's love, then can't WAIT to see what comes out when she decides to write a lyrical hate letter.

September 30, 2009

Fug Born Killers

Fug file:

Let's not lie to ourselves:

We're looking at the stars of what could potentially be the greatest buddy comedy reality show ever. Mark Burnett, CALL ME.

September 28, 2009

Fugliette and the Fugs

Fug file:

So, I've never heard Juliette (Lewis) and the Licks perform, but I did decide to look up some of their song titles -- I mean, any woman who gets up on stage looking like this has to be crooning some doozies:

[Photo: WENN.com]

And indeed, in the stirring "Death of a Whore," Juliette sings, "I felt like nothing was real all tattered and blue like a gutted sheep. And oh, I'm having visions again." That's kind of close to how I felt when I saw this picture. It felt like a hallucinatory dream caused by falling asleep atop copies of Lord of the Flies and Where The Wild Things Are.

Just for kicks, let's check out the rest of the outfit:

Continue reading Fugliette and the Fugs.

July 15, 2009

Natural Born Fuggers

Fug file:

I don't know about you, but I'm in a pretty good mood right now. And I suspect that THIS is why:

[Photo: WENN.com]

Okay. We've got sequined pants, a pleather crop top, fingerless gloves, a bunch of ties hanging off a belt, a freaky feathery bolero jacket AND bright blue eye make-up. This is like a costume from a musical adaptation of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, called Mad? Max! crossed with some kind of hipster belly-dancing experience -- and if you don't think the hipsters are going to co-opt belly-dancing eventually, and in a way beyond just fitness classes, you're wrong. Also, I guess I'm officially old now that I'm referring to people as "hipsters" like that crotchety neighbor who is always calling to you across the street to ask you to explain something on the iPhone. But let's be honest. Not only would I see that musical, I would enthusiastically recommend it to others before heading off to my new favorite dive bar. They have belly dancing AND Pabst on tap! Thanks for the good times in advance, Juliette!

March 6, 2009

Fugliette Lewfug

Fug file:

I think all the celebrities are as zonked and thankful it's Friday as I am -- it feels a lot like scraping the barrel today in terms of finding really nutrageous fug. As it is, I'm left to ponder whether Juliette Lewis's coat is secretly fabulous, or faintly mangy and confusing.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

You have to admire a giant fur coat that appears to have sprouted feathers. It almost looks like it's going through puberty, and is well on its way to becoming a pimply, bratty, closed-off adolescent jacket that slams the door of its closet and refuses to speak except in surly grunts, before finally maturing into an adult coat that knows how to boil an egg and balance a checkbook and get its driver's license.

Although from the back it looks more full-grown:

Continue reading Fugliette Lewfug.

November 18, 2008

Cape Fug

Fug file:

I am kind of in love with Juliette Lewis now:

No joke, I am 100% sure Joan Collins owns this and has worn it in public -- sans, of course, the flesh-toned fringed shoes that make it look as though Juliette's feet are coming off in strips. And it takes a lot of woman to quasi -- ONLY QUASI -- pull off a sequined jumpsuit. But I am beginning to see a method to her madness: the Juliette of yore was often seen in skintight polyester jumpsuits, like a sweat-stained superhero fallen on hard times. And in comparison, this -- although not entirely flattering to the hips and thighs (and god knows, if she looks Not Her Best in this, what would happen to the rest of us?) -- almost looks elegant.

poll by twiigs.com

October 31, 2008

Fugliette Fugis

Fug file:

formal shorts

I kind of love Juliette Lewis.

I mean, yes. She's wearing tights under the world's snuggest pair of formal shorts and a shirt last seen on a particularly emo 19th century vampire, but she seems SO PLEASED about it. Plus, you know that if you stuck in an elevator with her, you'd have a good time. You'd probably emerge from the lift with a contract to sing back up in her band. And how could that possibly go wrong?

October 21, 2008

Fug It!

Fug file:

bad hair

This is where Juliette Lewis' carefully messy bedhead addiction really bites her in the ass.

Seriously, in this photo it looks like she just opened the door to room service totally starkers, with last night's makeup smearing down her inner-eyes and her hair styled entirely by a wicked bed-rocking carnal romp. When I saw this photo I actually hurried to find the full-length one, just in case. Not that a girl can't wear strapless dresses on the offchance someone snaps a mid-range photo of her looking nude; rather that, I mean, this is JULIETTE LEWIS. She's a professional kook. If I saw this picture of Kate Walsh, or something, I probably wouldn't have paused. But with Juliette, there is always that slight chance she WILL wander out to the party in her birthday suit, or at least that whatever fabric she IS wearing will be crazy or fugly or prone to awkward sweat stains.

Which is a shame, because in the full photo, she looks fine:

Continue reading Fug It!.

Juliette Lewis

Freaky Fug Friday: Juliette Lewis Voting Edition

Freaky Fug Friday: Juliette Lewis

Fug file:

MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Juliette Lewis

Fug Born Killers

Fug file:

Fugliette and the Fugs

Fug file:

Natural Born Fuggers

Fug file:

Fugliette Lewfug

Fug file:

Cape Fug

Fug file:

Fugliette Fugis

Fug file:

Fug It!

Fug file:

Search

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY

Featured Brands

Featured Searches