Kristen Bell

June 25, 2009

Fug or Fab: Kristen Bell

As per usual at this point in the week, I don't know what to think, and need an assist from the Fug Nation. Behold Kristen Bell:

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She's cute, of course, but I worry she got this from the Stevie Nicks Juniors Collection. The fringe! The black! The...texturally confusing shrug! The back:
June 22, 2009

Fugsten Bell

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ANNA FARIS: Hi, Kristen. Or should I call you Helga?

KRISTEN BELL: Why would you do that?

ANNA: Because you look like some kind of S&M milkmaid.

KRISTEN: I was going for "retired Jabba slave."

ANNA: You didn't quite hit it. I could MAYBE see that you're at a Xena: Warrior Princess fan club gala.

KRISTEN: Can we stop ragging on me, and talk about how your dress strap is actually a zipper?

ANNA: No.

KRISTEN: Why not?

ANNA: Because it's sort of funky.

KRISTEN: IS IT, though?

ANNA: Compared to your bodice? Yes, Helga, it is.

KRISTEN: Dammit.

ANNA: It's okay. If we make The House Bunny II: Udder Madness, about a sorority of militant Dutch cow-tippers, you can TOTALLY audition.
April 16, 2009

Scrolldown Fug: Kristen Bell

Everything started out so normally: A cute if maybe oddly cropped tank top, a necklace, a giant watch that conveniently seems to match the display of timepieces behind her at this party...

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... but then it turned into something you'd wear for a job interview at The Gap in 1991.
March 5, 2009

Well Played, Kristen Bell

Oh, K.Bell. We have gone through so many ups and downs, haven't we? And I was so scared when I saw you at the Miss Sixty show, figuring you might get some toxic ideas in your head and show up at parties in that acid-washed-denim strapless jumpsuit. But maybe that show was your way of reminding yourself what NOT to do, as this is most decidedly a crest and not a trough:

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

I LOVE that dress. I want that dress. I will never have that dress. Which is not a very happy ending for me, but I'm used to it -- my relationship with pretty celebrity fashion has always been one of unrequited ardor, and my bank account prefers it that way. I suppose keeping the roof over my head, rather than buying dresses with four-figure price-tags but living beneath an overpass in an old appliance box, IS a happy ending in itself.
February 18, 2009

Fuggis at Fugshion Week

 

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KRISTEN BELL: Is Paris Hilton's dress in danger of dropping off, while I sit here looking like I'm running the Church Easter egg hunt?

MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: Is Paris Hilton actually wearing sunglasses inside like she thinks she's Anna Wintour?

JESSICA STROUP: Is Paris Hilton REALLY wearing tights that make it look like she has a giant leg tattoo?

PARIS HILTON: ME!!!!!!!

NICKY HILTON: I'm totally not with her.

January 9, 2009

Critics' Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Kristen Bell

Kristen Bell has learned the hard way that aluminum foil is better used lining your baking sheets for easier cleanup than for fashion:

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Next up: Trying to make sure she doesn't turn to cling film next. And hustling her out of there before anyone slaps a pork chop on her stomach and attempts to fold her into a very elaborate swan.
December 19, 2008

Heroes: Fugs

Oh, K BELL. We'd made SO MUCH PROGRESS in the last year! You went from Often Stumpy to Usually Fab. And yet who amongst us has not backslid? I, in fact, just absentmindedly ate two Flaming Hot Cheeto Puffs whilst making coffee. That is disgusting and wrong. And I need to stop buying them because they're like crack: I can't quit them and even though I am disgusted by myself, I don't even want to. Horrifying. So I can't hold your sequined party pants and weirdly-fitting tank top against you:

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MAYBE you have a tap dancing recital later. I don't know your life.
February 1, 2008

Well Played: Kristen Bell

Well, take a look at this!

Frequent fug offender Kristen Bell looks pert and pretty and plain old adorable in something that actually fits her! I am so relieved to see that she's hopped off the 11:05 to Stumpytown and finally boarded the....huh. That train metaphor completely ran out of steam on me there. One might even say it went TOTALLY OFF THE RAILS! See what I did there?  See?! Oh, dear readers, welcome...to Friday. Or as we call it at GFY HQ: Sleepy.

Anyway. What was I talking about? How much I secretly love Celebrity Apprentice because I privately find The Donald kind of hilarious? How I recently tried Alberto VO-5 hot oil treatment for the first time in years and it actually made my hair really kind of bouncy? How STOKED I am about the return of Lost? Oh, that's right: La Bell. She looks a treat, no? Check out the back:

January 11, 2008

Well Played: Kristin Bell

Oh, fine. Go ahead and look proud of yourself, Kristen Bell:

You look cute. And non-stumpy. And your narration work on Gossip Girl is quite good. And Gossip Girl itself is quite, quite, quite addictively good -- how am I going to wait however long I have to wait until we all find out what Blair plans to do to destroy her enemies? How can I stand not knowing whether or not poor tragic Nate is going to take up with that surprisingly somewhat conniving  yet still in-over-her-head Jenny? Most importantly: how can I live week-to-week without knowing what color turtleneck Chuck is wearing? How, I ask you? How?  I know, I know: you'll never tell. But your dress is good, okay? Don't say I never said nothing nice about you, Bell.

XOXO

Fug Girl

November 29, 2007

Well Played, Kristen Bell

Our roller-coaster of a relationship with Kristen Bell's fashion sense continues apace:


[Photo: infdaily.com]

Nice cleavage, babe! And you actually look kind of tall with that empire waist. Your makeup also perfectly complements the red in the dress, and in case I didn't mention it strongly enough before, I really meant it: Nice cleavage. Enjoy not having to wear a bra while you can, little girl. Gravity will chafe your navel soon enough.

Still, I do spy a few wrinkles -- I do still think there's a REASON "satin" is only one vowel away from being "Satan" -- but I'll let it slide because the overall effect is so good. Furthermore, the satin isn't nearly as crinkled and crunched as I've seen it before, and really, it's hard to hide from that fabric forever. Sometimes it's unavoidable, like a pimple, or Brad Garrett. You just have to accept it as part of life, learn to live happily anyway, and hope you own a really wicked travel steamer. For the satin, that is. I've never known a travel steamer to work on Brad Garrett. But then again, maybe it's just that nobody has tried.

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