Lindsay Lohan Archives

November 13, 2009

Fugbor Pains

Fug file:

This is a new wrinkle.

Leggings and a t-shirt and wrestling boots we've seen before, but the corset on the OUTSIDE? Wow, it HAS been a long time since this girl wore a bra. Does UCLA offer an extension course in Undergarment Arts?

November 12, 2009

Fug Fug Fug Fugged Fug

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These Lindsay Lohan pieces are starting to write themselves.

It all starts with a gallery of pictures on pretty much any site, called something like, "Lindsay Lohan [insert variation on "staggers"] out of [insert name of Hollywood club] looking [insert synonym for deranged, sad, or 'the worse for wear.']"

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Then comes the part where I throw up my hands and decry her lack of pants, and how she looks rumpled and tragic -- here, because she looks like she just bedded a pirate and then stole his wardrobe for the walk of shame.

Next up, of course, is the obligatory jump to a closer look at her face:

Continue reading Fug Fug Fug Fugged Fug.

November 2, 2009

Lindsfug Fughan

Let's say you're promoting a beach resort. And you want a celebrity to show up and make it look like a tempting, hip, exotic locale. Would you feel cheated if you invited Lindsay Lohan and she showed up thusly?

Because, I mean, Sad Starving Starlet Wearing Grandma's Curtains isn't likely to make me shell out my hard-earned cash for a vacation -- although it IS possible it would make me start up a collection for donations to some kind of Five-Dollar Footlong Fund. Perhaps this resort should become sponsored by Subway.

October 30, 2009

Labor Fugs

Fug file:

skin is not a shirt

So it's come to this.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Lindsay Lohan is wearing TWO things that button in front of her torso, and yet somehow neither one of them manages to be fastened. Indeed, she's actually CLUTCHING it closed. Either the girl has dieted away the memory of how to use buttons, or she's about to throw open her coat and ask me if I want to buy a watch from the glittering array of Faux-lex timepieces she has swinging from the lining.

October 20, 2009

Lindsay Lofug II: Return of the Lofug

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This woman is only 23 years old.

And she swears she's on the wagon.

Tell me another one, Linds. Would someone of sound mind wear THOSE shoes with THAT dress? I didn't think so.

PS: I suggest you save the icicles for the rain gutters of your condo.

October 20, 2009

Lindsay Lofug

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I can only hope that these pants are from Lindsay's Fall Leggings Line, which will have ventured out from being solely leggings and moved into being a purveyor of all sorts of tight pants:

That is, I'm pretty sure they're pants. They might be....brace yourselves, dear readers.... incredibly high-waisted shorts layered over tights. Look, I know Lilo has problems: violated paroles; unsuccessful stewardships of fashion houses; girlfriend drama; parents incapable of communicating in an effective and compassionate manner, much less in a way that doesn't involve People magazine; looming interventions; hair that suddenly recalls the finer work of Brett Michaels, etc. The question is: do these pants/shorts solve or ameliorate said issues? Or do they only pile onto the sweaty, toothless scrum that is Lilo's daily dramz? Exactly.

poll by twiigs.com

October 2, 2009

Fug Knows Who Killed Me

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Behold, another notch on the downward spiral:

Not Lindsay's -- mine. I find of this VERY depressing.

September 30, 2009

612fug

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This photo comes courtesy of the Twitter feed for Lindsay Lohan's "lifestyle brand," 6126.

This is allegedly one of the publicity shots for her newest batch of leggings and leggings-related items.

I will give you a moment.

Yes. Yes, she appears to be warming up for her appearance in a Whitesnake video. Or perhaps for a performance in a Whitesnake cover band -- let's call them Darklizard. Or perhaps for her TURN ON THE POLE. Jesus, lady. Do you EVER want to be taken seriously EVER AGAIN?

No? Okay, then, carry on. You're doing an AMAZING job, in that case. We're all so, so proud. Between this, and the fact that you're in debt to the man behind the film Oragami So Horny and you're suspected of potentially orchestrating a burglary of your own home, then at the very least, I think we can all agree that the E! True Hollywood Story of your life set to be produced in approximately 2025 will be one hell of a barn-burner. So thanks for that, in advance, and try not to wear that thing out on any street corners. I think you know why.

September 18, 2009

Fugn Girls

Psst. Lindsay. You popped a button on your...

[Photo: Splash News]

... eh, you know what? Never mind. You don't care.

September 16, 2009

Confugsions of a Teenage Fugga Queen

Fug file:

LINDSAY: I'm hungry.

TAYLOR: No, I am.

LINDSAY: I'm disaffected.

TAYLOR: No, I am.

LINDSAY: I'm really into eyeliner.

TAYLOR: No, I am.

LINDSAY: I'm wearing nine yards of cheap fake hair.

TAYLOR: No, I am.

LINDSAY: I'm bleaching the hell out of it, too.

TAYLOR: No, I am.

LINDSAY: I'm wearing an insect ring.

TAYLOR: No, I am. ... Wait, no, I'm not.

LINDSAY: I'm wearing thigh-highs.

TAYLOR: For once, I'm not.

LINDSAY: I'm all messily orange and shit.

TAYLOR: Not I!

LINDSAY: I look like I got punched in the lips.

TAYLOR: Nope.

LINDSAY: See? We're nothing alike.

TAYLOR: NOTHING.

Lindsay Lohan

Fugbor Pains

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Fug Fug Fug Fugged Fug

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Lindsfug Fughan

Labor Fugs

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Lindsay Lofug II: Return of the Lofug

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Lindsay Lofug

Fug file:

Fug Knows Who Killed Me

Fug file:

612fug

Fug file:

Fugn Girls

Confugsions of a Teenage Fugga Queen

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