Lindsay Lohan

September 10, 2009

I Know Who Fugged Me

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That's right, Lindsay.

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[Photo: WENN.com]

KEEP SHOPPING. I'd so much rather you keep trying, than give up and decide that it's okay to live life in costume as a character from the Rent/Hair hybrid musical aptly called Rent Hair -- in which you are the lead, obviously, because I am pretty sure most of your hair IS rented.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:21 AM in Lindsay Lohan
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September 8, 2009

Mean Fugs

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Dear Lindsay:

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[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

Do you and yours run your wardrobes like a fantasy football draft? Are you and Ali and Dina sitting around cross-legged on the carpet, taking turns picking as many of your favorite layers as possible before anyone else can get them -- and then later realizing you accidentally didn't draft any bottoms that weren't hot pants? Is Ali running around town wearing nothing but two pairs of leggings, some jeans, and ripped denim shorts? Because otherwise, you just look like a hooker with a court date.

Hugs,
Heather

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 11:12 AM in Lindsay Lohan
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September 1, 2009

Fuggia Rules

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Okay, Lindsay.

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

I am weary of you trying to tempt the world into giving you an impromptu pap smear. If you want to be naked that badly, just have a pool party. It's that simple.

And as for this:

Continue reading Fuggia Rules.
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 09:17 AM in Lindsay Lohan
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August 18, 2009

Confessions of a Fug Drama Queen

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You know what's sad? When someone who used to be moderately interesting turns REALLY REALLY BORING:

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Yeah. Lilo's all blond, skinny, wears ugly shoes and looks more convinced than ever of her own sexiness? SNORE. Wake me up when we get out of 2007.

What's that? There's more?

Continue reading Confessions of a Fug Drama Queen.
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 12:29 PM in Lindsay Lohan
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August 7, 2009

Fug Pains

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Sigh.

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The way this week is going, she'll probably recreate this tonight, only with an actual gun and me grasping my fresh gunshot wound and begging her both for my life and to PUT ON SOME PANTS.

Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 10:16 AM in Lindsay Lohan
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July 20, 2009

NYFug.com: The Painful Desperation of Lilo's "Labor Pains"

Poor Lilo:

"Remember back in 2006 when [Dina Lohan] fought rumors of Lindsay's on-set unprofessionalism on Georgia Rule by swearing she'd win an Oscar for it? Yeah, that didn't happen: Critically reviled, the film asked people to enjoy watching LiLo play a brat who teased a male naïf into exploring her crotch. No, really. So maybe it's no surprise that she signed on to Labor Pains, despite there being nothing endearing or clever in the plot about a struggling girl who fakes a pregnancy to keep her job (evidently a messy ponytail and sensible pants are code for "poor")."

So. That movie was not good.  Read all about it -- and what being in a cable movie means for old Lindsay -- over at NY Mag.com.

Seriously. That girl needs someone to fix her. Mel Gibson? I know he's crazy but it kind of worked for Britney.
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 02:06 PM in Lindsay Lohan, NYFug.com
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July 9, 2009

Fugger Pains

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You can run, Linds, but you can't hide. We know it's you. Why?

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Because ONLY YOU would take the twin obsessions of spandex and self-tanner so far as to paint yourself a pair of FLESH LEGGINGS.

It's so ridiculous that I can't even be bothered to rag on your rubber dress, or the fact that I think you bought that bag at the Franchise Glitz Dealer they go to in Xanadu. Yes, flesh leggings may have broken me. Seek help, and I will do the same.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:19 AM in Lindsay Lohan
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June 29, 2009

Tales of a Teen Age Fug Queen

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So, this weekend was Lindsay Lohan's 23rd birthday.

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[Photo: WENN.com]

Happy birthday, Lindsay! I bought you a present! Guess what I got you!?

Continue reading Tales of a Teen Age Fug Queen.
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 11:11 AM in Lindsay Lohan
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May 28, 2009

Freaky Fugly

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Lindsay, you're doing it wrong:

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[Photo: Splash News]

Use the bag to cover your heinous acid-washed jeans and 1993-era flowered bustier, not your face.
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 11:11 AM in Lindsay Lohan
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May 20, 2009

I Fug Who Fugged Me

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You know what, Lohan? You go ahead and stick out that tongue at us all you want.

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[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

Because we -- and I think I can speak for everyone on this planet, and perhaps a few beyond it -- are not the ones showing up at a business meeting in a genie jumpsuit made of someone's leftover powder-room wallpaper. So you go right ahead and wiggle that thing until it withers and falls off; it just means you'll have two strikes against you, while we'll be able to taste sweet superiority by dint of still having actual taste buds. AND NO JUMPSUIT.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 09:24 AM in Lindsay Lohan
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