When I repeatedly IMPLORED you to leave the leggings by the wayside, I meant that you should THEN PUT SOMETHING ELSE ON THE LOWER HALF OF YOUR BODY. Not that you ought to run all over the place in what are, for all intents and purposes, basically undies. I know you are in Hawaii. But Hawaii is not an alien planet where all the rules of polite society can be safely ignored. In fact, it actually is part of the United States of America. And, like the rest of Earth, it is peopled with human beings, the majority of whom are not visually impaired. You are in the parking lot of a mini-mall. You are not on the beach, at the pool, in your hotel room or your backyard or your own balcony. Those are the ONLY PLACES that we, as a society, have agreed that it is okay not to wear bottoms. You are not trotting across resort property to grab a daiquiri and a club sandwich. You are in a public place. I guess Dina never taught you this, but when you go to the Ritz Camera for a new memory card, you NEED TO WEAR PANTS. Or shorts. Or a sarong. OR SOMETHING. WE EARTHLINGS HAVE SEEN ENOUGH OF YOUR INNER THIGHS. PLEASE RELEASE US FROM THIS NEVER-ENDING CYCLE OF PANTLESSNESS.
Lindsay Lohan
Fug of a Teenage Drama Queen
When I repeatedly IMPLORED you to leave the leggings by the wayside, I meant that you should THEN PUT SOMETHING ELSE ON THE LOWER HALF OF YOUR BODY. Not that you ought to run all over the place in what are, for all intents and purposes, basically undies. I know you are in Hawaii. But Hawaii is not an alien planet where all the rules of polite society can be safely ignored. In fact, it actually is part of the United States of America. And, like the rest of Earth, it is peopled with human beings, the majority of whom are not visually impaired. You are in the parking lot of a mini-mall. You are not on the beach, at the pool, in your hotel room or your backyard or your own balcony. Those are the ONLY PLACES that we, as a society, have agreed that it is okay not to wear bottoms. You are not trotting across resort property to grab a daiquiri and a club sandwich. You are in a public place. I guess Dina never taught you this, but when you go to the Ritz Camera for a new memory card, you NEED TO WEAR PANTS. Or shorts. Or a sarong. OR SOMETHING. WE EARTHLINGS HAVE SEEN ENOUGH OF YOUR INNER THIGHS. PLEASE RELEASE US FROM THIS NEVER-ENDING CYCLE OF PANTLESSNESS.
Fug or Fab the Cover: Lindsay Lohan
(a) Congrats to Nylon for making it 10 years; especially considering the current state of print media, that is an accomplishment.
(b) Congrats to whomever scrubbed the spray tan off Lilo. I hope you got a bonus.
(c) I had boxer shorts in the same print as whatever those bottoms are IN 1999, and I felt like Kelly Taylor when I wore them around. Kudos for verisimilitude!
(d) IS Lindsay Lohan REALLY a "pin-up for a new era"? I feel like, "a hot mess for a new era" might be more accurate. Or, "a Meredith Baxter Birney for a new era."
(e) Those are...some extensions.
(f) If cropped sweaters are coming back, I quit.
Tales of a Fug Drama Queen
Fugly, Fugly Loaded
She looks great, right? Okay, a little zonked out, but otherwise pretty sexy and fabulous. Which is why I think she has to be back on the sweet yam yam, because otherwise NO ONE should have been able to change out of this, and into THIS:
Fugly: Fully Loaded
Its totally understandable that Lindsay would have to wear a Charlotte Ronson shirt -- which is what I assume this is -- if she's attending her girlfriend's sister's fashion show.
But there is nothing in the etiquette books that dictates Lindsay must consent to donning a see-through top with stirrup sleeves and a bra-strap-ventilation system which, for all we know, snaps at the crotch like all those bodysuits we bought in the early '90s. What was the inspiration here? Early Melrose Place Characters Who Were Written Out Because, Even Amid Stories About Billy's Dad Who Sold Carpets, They Were Too Boring For Words?
Actually, I might eagerly go to that fashion show. But I wouldn't WEAR it. Not until Halloween.
Fugger to Daughter
Dude, that is practically a SHIRT. In fact, I believe one could argue that it's actually like...a vest. One particularly vigorous dance move or overly ambitious stint at the beer bong, and one of her tatas is going to say ta ta to her top.
Man, I've been waiting to make that terribly hacky tata/ta ta crack for TWO WEEKS NOW. Phew, it's good to be back.
2009: Fresh Year, Stale Fug
So, of COURSE, my first photo-scavenging expedition of 2009 resulted in the regurgitation of that old insidious criminal: leggings. And on one of the usual suspects.
[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]
You know what else hasn't changed in the new year? LEGGINGS STILL AREN'T PANTS. Take a memo, Lohan. Jot it down right under "beg Tina Fey to write another movie role for you" and "prune hair extensions."
But Lindsay wasn't the only offender:
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Fug
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The Book of fug

A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?
Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.
Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!
Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!


