Lisa Rinna

April 14, 2009

Non-Damagingly Played, Lisa Rinna

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[Photo: WENN.com]

LISA RINNA: FINE, fine, America, WHATEVER YOU WANT.

HARRY HAMLIN: Come on, Lisa, I can't believe you listened to those yokels! They're just afraid of what they feel!

LISA: No, no, Harry, if America wants me to put away my crotch, and the high-slit/boobs combo, and the Joan Collins hair, then FINE. FAR BE IT FROM ME to disobey the will of the public.

HARRY: What's the problem, America? Why you gotta be like that? She's got GREAT thigh cleavage! Why are you spoiling everyone else's fun?

LISA: Are you HAPPY NOW, America? I'm clothed AND you upset my husband!

HARRY: I just can't believe these prudes are crotch haters! They should be THANKING you! They're LUCKY to see what I see every day! And they don't even have to share with you their L.A. Law residuals!

LISA: WHAT L.A. Law residuals? Nobody reruns that show, Harry.

HARRY: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, AMERICA. You've made her CRANKY and she's TAKING IT OUT ON L.A. LAW.

LISA: Let's just go, Harry. We've given them what they want. Now let's get this evening over with so I can take off this itchy fabric and set my essence free.
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 09:41 AM in Lisa Rinna, Well Played
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February 24, 2009

Oscar Fug Carpet: Lisa Rinna

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I'm beginning to think -- okay, well, actually, I've suspected this for years, but go with me on this -- that there's no pleasing me when it comes to Lisa Rinna. She'd wear leopard all the time and it annoyed me; she then shook it up with some solids in bright colors, but I couldn't be pleased because she traded it for showing off her Brazilian and other assorted bits, and I am not particularly interested in her private flesh tones.

So she fixed it on Sunday:

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She's wearing a great color that keeps all her groceries in the bag, AND she was just quoted in some magazine as being (correctly) semi-horrified by her own cheek implants, but I still cannot climb aboard. Because, aside from how it looks like much of her face is straining simply to achieve getting her mouth open, can we discus the hair? What is that? Even Ryan Seacrest got rid of his frosted tips a year or so ago. And the style... when I look at it, all I can think of is this:

Continue reading Oscar Fug Carpet: Lisa Rinna.
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:14 AM in Lisa Rinna, Oscars
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February 9, 2009

Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Lisa Rinna

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I'm relieved to see that Lisa Rinna's Near Brush With Crotchtacularity hasn't dampened her enthusiasm for extremely high-cut skirts, and that, in fact, she now also seems to going for an advanced degree in the highly specialized arena of Cleavage: Under/Side boob.

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The way this is going, I full expect her to show up at the Oscars wearing an unruly wrap-around skirt with the ass cut out and pasties. IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME. Hey, at least it's not leopard print.

Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 09:13 AM in Grammys, Lisa Rinna
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December 16, 2008

Fugsa Rinna

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When I noticed Lisa Rinna did not wear anything made of leopard print and/or a corset to this party, I seriously just about threw my hands to the heavens, praised whatever higher power is hanging out up there eating bon-bons and sorting through an Inbox full of prayers, and then passed out from the shock of it all.

But then once Intern George revived me with his special home brew of smelling salts and Jif, I realized something else:

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Yes, she's not wearing animal print, but she's ALSO not wearing pants. That is not an okay compromise. Lady, you own a boutique; presumably you know the difference between a turtleneck shirt and a dress. If you don't, then I suspect your shop is not for me. Which is not to say Lisa Rinna isn't in great shape; clearly, she is. If I could swap my legs for hers right now, it would be kind of awkward, but I'd totally do it. However, I sort of feel like there's a point in our lives, possibly the moment we all graduate from diapers into big-girl pants we can change on our own, where the threat of exposing our crotches -- even if it'they have panty-hose seams running over them -- becomes unseemly. If that thing were like four inches longer we'd STILL get the point that she has great gams, but without looking quite so desperate. You can make a statement without skipping straight to vulva-skimming hemlines, okay, Lisa? I PROMISE.

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Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:48 AM in Lisa Rinna
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