Malin Akerman

October 6, 2009

Unfug It Up: Malin Akerman

* Whoops, comments weren't opened before - but they are now, so read on...

Is it terrible that every time I see an ad for Couples Retreat, I want to die? Mostly because Jason Bateman is in it, I'm worried it's going to be terrible, and I love Jason Bateman and have since I was 8 and he was on Silver Spoons and I just want to PROTECT HIM FROM HARM? I also keep confusing it with The Perfect Getaway and I keep expecting the trailer to turn all...you know, freaky and scary and then I'm all like, "They're totally pulling a bait and switch on the marketing of this thing," and then I realize that, once again, I have no idea what I'm even talking about.

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Which is why I'm turning it over to you to fix Malin Akerman here. I think she looks like she has a skirt pulled over another dress and has been the victim of a particularly violent ruching aficionado, but, again: I'm a confused person.

So, have at it, readers: please be as on topic and constructive as always.
Comments (132) | Posted By Jessica at 01:05 PM in Malin Akerman, Unfug It Up
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June 2, 2009

Partly Well Played, Malin Akerman

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Love the hair, makeup, and gams, Malin, but the dress itself is pretty blah:

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[Photo: Splash News]

In theory I don't object to the slouchy top and mini, but this one is so languidly draped as to look lazy and tired and kind of bored of being itself. All that bunching in the front seems unsure of where it's supposed to hang, yet too disinterested to figure out an alternative. It's like a giant satin jowl.

Which is what makes her shoe choice that much more brilliant. Because when you have a dress that refuses to wake up from its hanger nap and sparkle, it never hurts to whip out some serious hooves:

Continue reading Partly Well Played, Malin Akerman.
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 11:20 AM in Malin Akerman, Well Played
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March 3, 2009

Fug Or Fab: Malin Akerman

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Apparently, according to the hilariously wise wizards over at Project Rungay, Malin Akerman's dress from the recent premiere of The Watchmen is one that Rami Kashou sent down the runway in February 2008 during the finale of his Project Runway season. And thank God they remembered that, because I had apparently blanked out his collection entirely, except for the fact that he used teal satin.

First, take a gander at the dress as it appeared on the catwalk:

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And here's how it translated on Malin:

Continue reading Fug Or Fab: Malin Akerman.
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 02:09 PM in Fug or Fab, Malin Akerman
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February 26, 2009

The Fugchmen

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MALIN AKERMAN: Hi, Carla! Can you believe this thing is finally coming out?

CARLA GUGINO: By "thing," do you mean this movie, or that dress? Because I DEFINITELY cannot believe the dress.

MALIN: What's wrong with it?

CARLA: You have to ask?

MALIN: I will be interested to hear, coming from someone who looks both kind of stumpy AND washed-out.

CARLA: Eh, but I've been around forever and I'm still totally hot. Plus, I've never shown up anywhere looking like an ice-dancing prostitute. Seriously, for a second, I thought those were giant furry boots, and that you were about to explain to me how a triple salchow can involve handcuffs.

MALIN: It's a ruffled skirt, I'll have you know.

CARLA: But kid, you're, like, 50 percent naked and covered in glitter like a child's art project:



Continue reading The Fugchmen.
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:13 AM in Malin Akerman
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June 2, 2006

Random Fug: Malin Akerman

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In a super special Friday event, we present the Random Scrolldown Fug:

Good...good...good...pretty...pretty....pretty....SWEET FANCY MOSES ON BUTTERED TOAST.

Someone please explain the footwear here, because I've been looking at it for twenty minutes and I can't figure it out. It looks like black pointy backless flats worn with...pleather spats? No. That's not possible, right? People don't go out shopping for pleather spats. No one has manufactured pleather spats. There can not be a market for pleather motherf-ing spats.

And if there were, would you wear them with an inocuous -- even slightly boring -- black cocktail dress? No. No, you would wear them with some costume-y goth-y cheerleader-y Gwen Stefani-esque thing. I mean, if you ARE going for pleather SPATS, of all things, then you need to wear the SHIT out of them.  Commit to those pleather spats! Make them inarguably spatastic. OWN THEM.

Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 10:57 AM in Malin Akerman, Random Fug
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