Which I think I love. Yes, I WILL give you a congratulatory fist bump you over this dress, Alicia. Thank you for offering.
Then we had the performance outfit:
Shh, let's act like you did it on purpose and maybe no one will notice.
Something about this is SO WRONG, it's come around to being awesomely right, by which I mean, totally hilarious:
I mean, what can I say that will add to the hilariousness already inherent in this dress? That it looks like something a starfish would wear to a formal dance in an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants? That it's a item of clothing that will provide hours and hours of gleeful chuckles and bad jokes to the drunk? That it appears to be a sartorial salute to the body's major arteries? No. You have to just look upon its majesties and enjoy.

CRISS ANGEL: You seem to be having a good time.
POPPY MONTGOMERY: Sure! I just had a baby and I look great! I have no idea what I'm doing here, but at least I look good doing it. Why are YOU here?
CRISS: I'm MAGIC.
POPPY: No, really.
CRISS: I AM MAGIC.
POPPY: Do you have a show on CBS now, or something?
CRISS: A MAGICAL SHOW.
POPPY:...okay, then can we talk about what you're wearing?
CRISS: Is it not magical?
POPPY: It is not. Unless "magical" is a synonym for "frighteningly reminiscent of the contents of a hormone-fueled nightmare I once had about being chained to Nikki Sixx at a biker bar while being haunted by Lord Voldemort's Dark Mark." In which case: totally.

A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?
Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.
Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!
Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!