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Per tradition, after the Project Runway finale aired last night, Jessica and I hopped onto trusty ol' Instant Messenger and dished about the episode -- specifically, this time, how even the judges seemed unable to drum up any tension.

Jessica: I thought it was very telling that nearly every comment the judges made was prefaced with the phrase, "I have to say ... " as though the sentence prior was something like, "Although I found this collection completely lackluster ... "
Heather: The debate felt like they'd all discussed earlier how to spin each collection so that they didn't accidentally say, "Well, we blew it with you three, sorry," and then weep for the future.
To see what else we thought (hint: it wasn't overwhelmingly positive...), click here to read the whole piece, and maybe even -- if you are so moved -- to leave your own thoughts in the comments.

Top Model last night, Project Runway tonight? This week is off ye olde hook, as the children might say. It's been so crazy that I just nearly convinced Heather that Tyra was going to win Top Chef. But as far as tonight's Lifetime-related shenanigans go:

"After all the Sturm und Drang surrounding the current season of Project Runway, tonight's finale almost feels anticlimactic. How could three short catwalk presentations possibly outdo a year of dramatic kvetching about new locations, network changes, lawsuits, and one very earnest plea that we picket Harvey Weinstein's house? Unless Althea "accidentally" sets Irina on fire backstage, we're betting it can't."
I'd have picked a selection from the piece in which we discuss the actual collections, but if you haven't peeked at the runway pics yet, I don't want to spoil you. So consider that your warning: we DO talk specifics about what each woman sent down the runway a hundred years ago over at NY Mag. Don't you want to know whom we call an inveterate plagiarist? Click through to find out.
Like the swallows returning to Capistrano year after year, so can we count on one thing in this crazy life: just when you think you can wait no longer for a new CoverGirl, Tyra Banks anoints one. Yes, friends, the ANTM finale is tonight. REJOICE! As per tradition, we handicapped the finalists for NY Mag.com:

"The contest could potentially come down to intangibles like relatability, which CoverGirl loves and country-girl Laura has in spades. She positively oozes down-home quaintness, prone to twanging things like "We don't have a lot of oceans in Kentucky" and sporting clothes made almost exclusively by her grandmother. She's also got the better backstory: If you don't hear the phrase "castrating bulls" at least three times in tonight's episode, referring to Laura's job before the competition, we'll go neuter one ourselves. (By which we mean we'll consider forgoing our nightly Diet Coke.)"

But who do we really think will actually win?! WHO? Pop over to NY Mag to find out. I know the suspense is killing you.
Why yes, haven't you heard? Speidi wrote a book called How to Be Famous. We read it so you don't have to. A highlight:

"Most Unexpected Dis: Kristin Cavallari
She may have introduced Spencer and Heidi -- making this entire escapade basically her fault, so THANKS A LOT, lady -- but that didn't stop them from misspelling her name in the acknowledgments. Burn."

Oh, people. Proofreading is so important, don't you know? To read the rest of our (rather extensive) take on the book -- including such vital findings as, "Quality of Author Photos" and "Likelihood They Wrote It Themselves" -- click on over to The Cut.
Given our soapy proclivities, it ought not surprise you that we think James Franco's planned appearance on General Hospital is awesome -- and that it makes HIM that much more awesome, too.

Based on the photo, Franco is throwing himself into GH with gusto. His eyes are so shifty, his hands so deeply jammed into the pockets of his slick black suit, that he might as well wear a sign saying, "As soon I leave this room, I'm going to pull a gun out of my pocket, chuckle sinisterly, and then deliver an evil monologue to the wall at full volume in the middle of a crowded yet strangely blind-and-deaf public space."

But WHY do we think it makes him Hollywood's most interesting actor? To find out, you'll have to click through and read the whole piece. It's worth it just for the photo. That is some serious soap-opera brooding happening.
I love this story about the teen girl gang who ran a burglary ring for like a year. It's going to be an AWESOME movie. BUT:

"As juicy as the inevitable movie based on the Hollywood Burglar Bunch is bound to be, it seems that unless they add a dying sibling whose brain fog can only be cured by eating the second hand of a purloined Cartier watch, a dramatized silver-screen send-up wouldn't hold a candle to the way it has unfolded in actual fact. Especially when said facts include the collusion of a guy who calls himself "Johnny Dangerous"

Johnny Dangerous! I want someone to start calling ME that. Read the rest of our take on these terribly juicy shenanigans at NY Mag.com.
Those poor short models on this season's ANTM. First, they're short, so they're never ACTUALLY going to be models. (Ladies, I feel you. I have to ask people for help getting things off the top shelf at the market. Um, not that that's the only thing keeping me from modeling. You know what I mean.) Then TyTy makes them be judged by the likes of Kim Kardashian. WHITHER JANICE? WHITHER?!

"Kim Kardashian can apply makeup, yes, and delivered a very touching performance on her sex tape; however, considering that she couldn't even convince us she was surprised when that hit the Internet, we can hardly trust her evaluation of performances in CoverGirl commercials."

Who's with us? Light your torches! To the barricades! Defend the shorties! All this complaining -- AND MORE awaits you at NY Mag.com.
We're sort of digging Katie Cassidy lately. She's kind of awesome on Melrose Place and her outfits are never boring -- even if we don't always love them, at least they never put us into a boredom coma. We take a look at them for NYMag.com...I'd say this week, but this actually went up Friday afternoon. Let's call it, "recently."

"Someone loves herself some animal print. Again, the makeup feels like overkill -- there's just too much of it -- and the purse looks like something Katie bought out of a car trunk, but the dress itself is a hit. It's toeing the line between "awesome" and "the '80s called; it wants its wardrobe back," but the otherwise simple cut and fun short sleeves save this from disaster."

Bet regular readers can picture that outfit, since I believe we put it to a poll here a while ago. Read the whole piece, and see how many you recognize.
Whoops, I totally forgot to write this post. PRETEND IT WENT UP EARLIER! What did we chat about on NY Mag.com, you ask? Just read the title of this post, my friends!

"You'd think that our national legion of fame whores would be allergic to putting even a toe in the shadows, but the number of covert marriages being unearthed lately -- most recent: Claire Danes, of all people -- indicates that hush-hush is a hotter trend even than rompers and sheer skirts. Secret weddings officially are the new DUIs: Suddenly, everyone in Hollywood seems to be getting one."

Don't believe us? It's true, and we approve. Read the whole column here, if you dare. (I can't think why you wouldn't.)
In addition to our comprehensive and continuing coverage of the Emmys here at GFY, we also prepared a piece for our friends at NY Mag.com:

"But just because no one fell off the stage or accidentally lit Ryan Seacrest on fire doesn't mean that those generous souls who braved the red carpet solely for our entertainment -- and their own good press -- don't deserve a little constructive feedback."

Curious to know which dress is guilty of doing the Worst Disservice to a Total Babe? Check out the slide show.


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