NYFug.com

Confession: Some of the previews for the new Star Trek make it look like a new CW show (okay, with slightly better special effects) and not a blockbuster movie. But we're sure we'll end up seeing it at some point and it will make pots and pots of cash, so whatever. We're more interested in what people wear to the premieres, anyway, beginning with the fashion of one Zoe Saldana, heretofore famous for being the sassy smoking ballerina in Center Stage:

"We were curious to see how Saldana would handle the stress of dressing for multi-city press junkets at this make-or-break point in her career -- especially since, at her highest-profile event to date, the Vanity Fair Oscar party, she paired a limp camisole with a giant leopard-print skirt that we suspect was once Sharon Stone's shower curtain. Would she embrace her potential new status as a household name and face in an appropriately killer wardrobe, or would she show up looking like a starlet whose best days were playing second fiddle to Britney Spears in Crossroads?"

To find out how we think she did -- hint: the shoes play a big role -- check out the rest of the piece at NY Mag.com.
In addition to our on-going Met Gala coverage here today, we also wrote a piece about the craziest looks of the night for NY Mag.com:

"When André Leon Talley shows up in a poncho-cape and it still isn't weird enough to make our list of the top standout ensembles, you know you've thrown an awesome party. And so, with love, we've dished out commendations to our twelve favorite head-scratchers of the night. After all, this kind of high drama tinged with camp -- intentionally or otherwise -- renews our faith in the enduring nuttiness of celebrity attention whores, makes us want to do this job forever, and ultimately deserves a pat on the back."

See who made the grade -- and weigh in on your own favorite So Crazy It's Awesome looks right here.
So, imagine our surprise when, over the course of the last two weeks, we realized that little Miley Cyrus has been looking sort of interesting whilst on the junket for Tyler Perry Presents: Hannah Montana: Book of Secrets: The Movie, or whatever that thing is called:

"We applaud Miley for taking a few risks on her world tour, as if she decided to take at least temporary inspiration from successful actresses and fashion darlings Kate Bosworth and Diane Kruger. It paid off with the edgy silver Hervé Léger minidress she wore in London, possibly the best look Miley's ever trotted out in public: fresh, current, and sophisticated, while seeming effortlessly so. We know; we're stunned, too. But just as big risks often reap big rewards, they can also turn you into Stumpy McNoNeck."

Read more of our take on Miley's evolving wardrobe at NY Mag.com. If I were a tween star, I'd give you the peace sign right now.
In which we finally answer the question, "is it possible for someone from The Hills to design something that ISN'T totally embarrassing and mildly hideous?" Turns out the answer is, "kind of":

"While Whitney's designs won't exactly have Marc Jacobs quaking in his kilt, they're easily the best work any of those Hills girls have churned out. We realize this is faint praise, considering Heidi willingly slapped her name on shorts with a thumb-length inseam but the fact remains that Whitney's efforts could have been way more embarrassing than they are."

High praise indeed. Take a look-see over at NY Mag.com!
When R&B singer Cassie randomly buzzed off the right half of her long mane this past weekend, it got us thinking, "Huh. I would have to be really drunk to do that. But HOW drunk? Fun drunk? Mixing-beer-and-liquor-and-then-being-unable-to-feel-my-own-teeth drunk? Unconscious drunk?"

Then, of course, we decided to peer at some of the other things various celebs have done to themselves in 2009, all in the name of a fresh start. For example, we had this to say about one actress:

Lately she's looked like a contestant on America's Next Top Dita Von Teese, and frankly, we were already getting bored of the original. Grade: C

Any guesses as to the (un)lucky lady's identity? Well, surf on over to our slideshow at NYMag.com to find the answer.


We LOVE you, Blair Waldorf, but NO to the singing career:

"An ability to cry on cue when your TV boyfriend gets hooked on opiates and Thai hookers doesn't translate to singing prowess, no matter what your high-school drama teacher told you. Ergo, the output of most actress turned singer hyphenates winds up being kind of embarrassing, often in a way that's harder to overcome than a sex tape or a boyfriend with an awkward fondness for fraud."

We just want the best for Leighton. Ergo, maybe cancel the CD? Weigh in at NY Mag.com.
Because you know you're not tired of reading about Madonna yet:

"You don't make out with a faux-Christ in a music video and then perform on a crucifix wearing a crown of thorns because you want people to seek your softer side...But what makes Madonna a genius -- her appetite for controversy; her skill at reinvention and self-promotion -- is exactly what's now biting her in the obsessively toned ass."

Poor Madonna. Will she EVER WIN? Unless, of course, you think she already has. We can see the argument there. She is multi-faceted, it's true. Anyway, she's getting a lot of flack lately for various events in her personal life, we suspect she may have -- kind of accidentally on purpose -- done it to herself. Please don't crack our heads like walnuts in the deadly vise that is your thighs, Madge. "Express Yourself" is still my jam!

Hey, we're as surprised as you are:

"We personally weren't sure we wanted life lessons from someone who once publicly sported angry bruises resembling incompetent hickeys because she'd undergone an obscure detoxification procedure. However, six months into the life of Goop.com, here's the dirty little secret we have to confess: It's totally addictive."

No, no. We mean it. But maybe not for the reasons you're suspecting. Check out the entire column at NY Mag.com
Katie Holmes -- as of this writing, losing to Kate "Jordan" Price in round one of Fug Madness, which would be an interesting and not wholly unsurprising upset -- is a mystery to us. Why is she designing clothes now? Why? We ask that, and all kinds of other things, in today's column for NY Mag.com:

"When Tom Cruise swept Katie Holmes out of his dreams and into his private jet, kicking off a famously earnest and weird whirlwind courtship, we had the same reaction as the rest of the world: Maverick marrying Joey Potter? Really? But ultimately, we were less curious about the hows and whys of their love than about how Katie would emerge from the rubble of her former life."

And the answer is...as a weirdly robotic children's clothing designer? THAT is a surprise. Read our suggestions for how best to Handle Katie over at NY Mag.com -- hint, we suggest a reunion with the only man who could step into Intern George's well-shined dress shoes, Joshua Jackson (a PROFESSIONAL REUNION, you guys).
You know who we're talking about. Kanye's new lady friend? She's very striking, yes. But WHO THE HECK IS SHE? No, seriously, you guys. We are actually kind of curious. So we get on the case for NY Mag.com:

"In this day and age, it seems impossible that we've spied endless articles about Kanye and Amber shopping for pants, yet her past is a relative vacuum. In the absence of answers, we can only speculate: Is she, as she appears, the overlord of an alien biker gang? Is she performance art? Sweet Jesus, is she his muse?"

Or is she the author of a book about holistic bee-healing? No, I didn't just invent that. Find out how the bees tie into this mystery via this helpful link to another site on the interwebs, where the rest of our column lives.

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