NYFug.com Archives

November 20, 2008

NYFug.com: Tyra Is Our Own 'National Treasure: Book of Secrets'

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ANTM

And now Top Model is over. Our Wednesday nights at 8 just got a little less booked (thank god: juggling Pushing Daisies, Top Model and Bones was starting to get to me. What kind of monster expects you to choose between Tyra Banks, David Boreanez, and baked goods?). Too bad this cycle didn't go out with much of a bang. Well, unless you're counting Tyra's spectacular finale wardrobe. And we are:

"Heather: And the SECOND ONE, with the sharp shoulder pads ... somebody wants to be Joan Collins.
Jessica: I also thought she sort of looked like she had just beamed down from the mother ship."

I know what you're wondering: But how did National Treasure: Book of Secrets play into this? I wish I could explain that myself. It just DOES. Read and comment here, my gentle readers.

November 19, 2008

NYFug.com: Odds on 'America's Next Top Model'

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ANTM

At last! The Top Model finale is upon us! I'm sure you're all very busy right now in preparation -- reassembling your shrine to Tyra, practicing your runway strut, and sacrificing that goat -- but when you get a moment, you could always take a break and check out our prognostications:

"In the editorial corner there's the edgier McKey, whose quirky, toothy smile might not sell Land's End turtlenecks but is exactly what Tyra means when she says "pretty-pretty" isn't always "model-pretty." Her pictures have improved to consistent greatness, even with the hideous makeover that looks like a drunk stylist ran amok with some shoe polish and a Flowbee."

If you get a hankering to read and/or comment on the whole kit and caboodle, you can find it here.

November 13, 2008

NYFug.com: Jen, Brangelina, and the Ten Worst Celebrity Breakups

I've always said that it would be terrible to be a celebrity going through a break-up. Because when you shuffle to the market for ice cream and booze and you're standing there in the check-out line with dirty hair, and you look over at the tabs, YOU'RE ON THEM. Or -- even worse -- your EX is on them, and he's frolicking on the beach with that scrawny, underage bimbo he left you for. It would be enough to make you turn around and get another gallon of rum. Hence, this week's column on the Ten Worst Celebrity Break-Ups:

"4. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez: Remember the heyday of Bennifer 1.0, when a faux-tanned Ben made bum-massaging cameos in J.Lo's videos? And she went on Dateline to gush about how she loves to make Ben Shake and Bake chicken? And then the Enquirer claimed Affleck cheated with a bunch of Canadian strippers, the wedding was "postponed" at the last minute, and next thing you know, they were kaput? That was fun. Although probably not for them."

Go forth, read the rest, and add to the list in the comments, if you want -- someone has already pointed out that Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger was pretty bad, which is true. In our defense, we forgot Kim Basinger existed.

November 6, 2008

NYFug.com: For Jessica Biel, Serious Style Is a Fashion Failure

This week, at NY Mag.com, we talk about Jessica Biel, and all the random crap she's been wearing out and about of late:

"We all know that clothes don't make the woman. But when you don't have much else to say, what you wear often does the talking for you. So it's unfortunate that Biel's first foray back into the limelight in ages -- an event at the Rome Film Festival -- involved decking herself out in a YSL pantsuit that said, 'Welcome to KFC. Try my grandfather's Original Recipe.'"

And now I want some fried chicken. Get yourself a bucket and head over to NY Mag.com to read the rest and weigh in.

October 23, 2008

NYFug.com: 'Stylista' Wears Its Awfulness Well

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reality TV

Don't front. I know you watched Stylista last night. For one thing, it was on right after ANTM. For another, it was on right after ANTM. We watched it, too. And it was kind of AWESOME, in that way that things that are seriously wretched can still be super-entertaining:

"There are major problems, starting with Slowey herself. She and the producers strain to create a Devil Wears Prada air without a real devil and, possibly, without any real Prada; if they thought an airy vocal affectation would make Slowey look like an imperious but brilliant Wintour-in-training, they were sorely mistaken. For one thing, Anna's accent does not originate somewhere around the outer reaches of Upper Fakeola."

But there's SO MUCH MORE than just the phony accent. What's the deal with her walk? How does Joe Zee feel about scarves? Will we actually fly to New York just to stab one of the more annoying cast members? Read on to find out, and comment!

October 16, 2008

NYFug.com: We Were So Right About The Project Runw... Zzzzz...

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Project Runway

The Project Runway finale has been kind of a letdown before, but this is the first season we can remember where we felt actual relief that the whole thing was finally over and we could commence getting excited to become slaves to Top Chef.

Jessica: It was really sloppy. And, seriously, so boring. Good for Leanne. I want one of her petal skirts. Otherwise, I don't care at all.
Heather: I wonder when or how that happened. Any show goes through rough spots, but people started defecting from Project Runway since last season. I have bread that's taken longer to go stale.
Jessica: I am kind of at the point where I don't care SO MUCH that I don't even care why I don't care.

Drop by the rest of our column for our thoughts on how Heidi could take a page from Tyra, and other musings on last night's episode.

October 15, 2008

NYFug.com: Dumpster Diving at Lauren Conrad's Fashion Show

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That title is not a metaphor. Along with about 800 other people, we spent last night in Culver City standing amongst the trash cans waiting to get into LC's fashion show:

"Everyone else outside the Smashbox Studios venue, from what we overheard, spent the entire time swearing they were only attending Lauren's show because they had to cover it for work. "Are you REALLY a fan of her, like, little jersey clothes?" a girl near us asked her friend, with nose-crinkling skepticism."

WAS HE? You'll have to click through to find out. Also includes bonus gossip about The Hills and an extra-special Rock of Love sighting. Spoiler: it was not Bret Michaels.

October 15, 2008

NYFug.com: Handicapping the 'Project Runway' Finale

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Project Runway

And so the most lackluster season of Project Runway draws to a close tonight. Bravo could not care less about sending its baby off with a flourish, considering that it's running the finale in the middle of both the presidential debate and the Dodgers vs. Phillies game on the East Coast. Are they even doing a reunion show? Why don't they just air it solely online?

Yet despite their apathy, WE still care (kinda). In fact, we've handicapped the contestants for NY Mag.com today:

"KENLEY COLLINS: 25-1. If Project Runway were a popularity contest, Kenley wouldn't even be in the finals. In fact, when she emerged to introduce her line, we gasped, "Oh shit."

Which is exactly what we'll be saying if she wins. Who's with me? Click through to read the whole piece and weigh in at NY Mag.com.

October 9, 2008

NYFug.com: The Gossip Drought

In which we lament the lack of lurid dish to distract us from our problems:

Hollywood is serving us lukewarm leftovers when what we REALLY need is a nice, palate-cleansing gossip sorbet. [...] People can't spend 24 hours a day tracking the markets' demise or interpreting the latest polls. Without even just a few minutes of fanciful distraction to keep us from eating our feelings, we'll go crazier than Anne Heche on an alien spirit-walk through Fresno.

We do realize there are good REASONS that the news cycle lately has been awash in actual important stuff, but don't we all need a good old-fashioned celebrity scandal to relieve us of the stress of how freaking broke everyone is? Click on through to the full column to commiserate with us.

October 2, 2008

NYFug.com: The Aughts Have Not Been Kind to Heather Locklear

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Melrose Place

As I'm sure you can imagine, Heather and I are very upset by the news that Heather Locklear is having some kind of downward spiral. We LOVE Heather Locklear. And Amanda Woodward doesn't have downward spirals, she CAUSES them:

"It takes a unique actress to drive her employees to alcoholism and her fictional boss to hang himself over his desk, yet still have us rooting for her character (despite doing it all in micro-minis, terrible roots, and clunky mules). Even Gay Matt probably thought twice about tapping that."

So what next? Click through and read the rest of the column on NYMag.com. Do it for Amanda Woodward! She would...well, let's be honest. She would not do it for you. She would probably chuckle grimly about your issues and then start plotting how best to steal your boyfriend while you were wrongly imprisoned in a mental institution where she had bribed the doctors to give you a semi-unneccessary lobotomy. But do it anyway!

NYFug.com

NYFug.com: Tyra Is Our Own 'National Treasure: Book of Secrets'

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NYFug.com: Odds on 'America's Next Top Model'

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NYFug.com: Jen, Brangelina, and the Ten Worst Celebrity Breakups

NYFug.com: For Jessica Biel, Serious Style Is a Fashion Failure

NYFug.com: 'Stylista' Wears Its Awfulness Well

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NYFug.com: We Were So Right About The Project Runw... Zzzzz...

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NYFug.com: Dumpster Diving at Lauren Conrad's Fashion Show

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NYFug.com: Handicapping the 'Project Runway' Finale

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NYFug.com: The Gossip Drought

NYFug.com: The Aughts Have Not Been Kind to Heather Locklear

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