Oscars

March 2, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Mandy Moore

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mandy Moore, apparently starring in a Darren Aronofsky follow-up film entitled, Requiem for a Prom:


[Photo courtesyof Daily Celeb]

I believe this dress is, as captured above, in the act of making a citizen's arrest of Mandy Moore for ever putting it on in the first place. It looks to be clamping down on her.

Unless she intended to come dressed as a big black garter, in which case she'd better watch out, or one of the many women who showed up to the Oscar parties in white gowns will pick her up and hurl her at some tuxedo-clad gentlemen.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 06:19 PM in Mandy Moore, Oscars
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March 2, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: The Hilton Sisters

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[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

PARIS: Hey, Mrs. Meister. You look hott. Squished boobs are hott.

NICKY: Thanks, P, you bitch. You look... gold. Both your skin and your dress.

PARIS: Yeah. Tanning is hott. Orange really works for you, too. Anyway, the dress I wanted, I couldn't get, because the number was in my Sidekick and all these total, like, average people were calling the designer and asking for specially made, like, overalls and stuff. Overalls are hott, though.

NICKY: Where did you get it?

PARIS: It's an old dress of Mom's. Hand-me-downs are hott.

NICKY: Call it "vintage." That plays better. And get it tailored next time so it actually sort of fits and doesn't make you look matronly.

PARIS: I couldn't. Those Internet, like, thief-people posted a message I wrote about Mom's seamstress. Something about, "Tell spinster crotchrag she didnt take up miniskirt enuf -- not hott,'" or something, I don't know, but that skirt is going to be hott.

NICKY: Whatever. I have to go file a police report about the guy who mugged me on my way here.

PARIS: Don't. Knife-Attack Couture is hott.

NICKY: You're hott.

PARIS: I know.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 02:30 PM in Oscars, Paris & Nicky Hilton
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March 2, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Mischa Barton

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[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

Mischa Barton seems not to realize that when you're going to an Oscar party, you don't have to dress like Oscar's sister. Although maybe she got the dress from the gift bag -- it certainly looks like the kind of gold cellophane wrap that would line a vat of expensive freebies.

Mischa's sister, incidentally, looks amusingly humiliated.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:57 AM in Mischa Barton, Oscars
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March 1, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Stephanie Seymour

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There are times in a fugger's life when she is rendered speechless. When everything she tries to write can't do justice to what inanities, spurred by crazy pills and possibly absinthe, are marching through the head of a celebrity.

This is one of those times.


[Photos courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

I can only assume that, when she got wind that Usher was attending the Oscars, Stephanie Seymour's post-show orgy radar went, "Ping!" And so she watched a few episodes of Dynasty, crafted a curiously frump-ho Linda Evans tribute negligee -- in this case, "negligent lingerie" -- and marched that pendulous rack right up to him to see if he needed a sixteenth for the sex train.

And, to let him check out the caboose:

Continue reading Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Stephanie Seymour.
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:41 AM in Oscars
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February 28, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Thora Birch

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Thora Birch swung by an Oscar party on her way home from work at the insurance company.

THORA! Seriously? YOUR HAIR HAS GOT TO GO. You look like you wash it with undiluted chlorine.  Hot oil treatment! A trim! AN ACTUAL HAIRDRESSER. These are all things you need to look into. Please.

Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 05:40 PM in Oscars, Thora Birch
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February 28, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Marley Shelton

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[Photos courtesy of Daily Celeb]

Somebody please tell Marley Shelton that the B in "B-list" doesn't stand for, "Bird, exotic." Then maybe she'll stop dressing like one in the hope of vaulting herself up the celebrity food chain.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 04:35 PM in Oscars
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February 28, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Jessica Simpson

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[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

STOP TANNING, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. People aren't supposed to look like that. I don't care if it's spray-on or sun-seared -- she's going to look like a pair of old boots when she's older. God. What's wrong with being flesh-colored?

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 04:20 PM in Ashlee & Jessica Simpson, Oscars
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February 28, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Bai Ling

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[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

After her nip-slip, Bai Ling may merely have wanted to be safe in the knowledge that her girls were under control when she chose this dress. But I can't help wishing that she could find a way to cover herself without opting for a billowing, barely tailored striped sheath that looks like a Victoria's Secret shopping bag as reconceived by Lance Armstrong's rubber-bracelet people.

Is she hiding Courtney Peldon in there? There's certainly enough room.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:21 AM in Bai Ling, Oscars
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February 28, 2005

Oscar Fugshion: Beyonce

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Oh, sweet LORD, this redefines the phrase "dripping with diamonds":

That is a lot of ice Beyonce is wearing around her neck. That is Antarctica in necklace form. I'm surprised Star Jones, who wouldn't shut up about how "Mrs. Reynolds" was clad in $500,000 in jewels, didn't run up on stage and punch Beyonce in the face for outblinging her. I really hope this absurdity puts a cork in everyone's quest to look like the most expensive mannequin in the room.

Somewhere, a rapper has died of jealousy.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:04 AM in Beyonce, Oscars
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February 28, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Alexis Bledel

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[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

It seems Alexis Bledel is only now wandering back from Mardi Gras. Her face says, "Please don't ask me what I did to get iridescent beads. You really, really don't want to know. God, I need some Advil and a nap."

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 09:04 AM in Oscars
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