Random Fug

June 28, 2006

Random Fug: Brooke Valentine

If Siegfried and Roy locked Maria von Trapp in their living room and refused to release her until she'd found a way to design the most flamboyant yet impractically unflambuoyant swimwear possible, this outfit would be the result.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 02:27 PM in Random Fug
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June 19, 2006

Random Fug

I believe Kanary Diamond is a singer of some sort -- Google wasn't very forthcoming with information -- but, judging from her ensemble here, I believe she may in actual fact be a singing PIRATE:

Ahoy!

Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 11:24 AM in Random Fug
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June 2, 2006

Random Fug: Malin Akerman

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In a super special Friday event, we present the Random Scrolldown Fug:

Good...good...good...pretty...pretty....pretty....SWEET FANCY MOSES ON BUTTERED TOAST.

Someone please explain the footwear here, because I've been looking at it for twenty minutes and I can't figure it out. It looks like black pointy backless flats worn with...pleather spats? No. That's not possible, right? People don't go out shopping for pleather spats. No one has manufactured pleather spats. There can not be a market for pleather motherf-ing spats.

And if there were, would you wear them with an inocuous -- even slightly boring -- black cocktail dress? No. No, you would wear them with some costume-y goth-y cheerleader-y Gwen Stefani-esque thing. I mean, if you ARE going for pleather SPATS, of all things, then you need to wear the SHIT out of them.  Commit to those pleather spats! Make them inarguably spatastic. OWN THEM.

Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 10:57 AM in Malin Akerman, Random Fug
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May 31, 2006

Random Fug

This lovely actress, who has appeared in such serious works as Sharkskin 6, in the pivotal and emotional role of "Dimples Waitress," is a very, very pretty girl...

...who appears to think she's on her way to a screen test for Chloe Sevigny's role in Big Love (in the interest of full disclosure,  we've been discussing the Sev here at GFY HQ lately, and while we stand by our opinion that she has a serious problem dressing herself on many occasions, we must admit that we think she's really, very, very good on Big Love. So, way to go with that, Sev. Don't ever say we never said anything nice about you).

And while "Buttoned Up, But Secretly Brilliantly Machiavellian  Polygamist" really works on that show, it's not always the smartest choice for a red carpet event.

Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 01:57 PM in Random Fug
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May 30, 2006

Random Fug

If professional guest-star and occasional show-killer Katherine La Nasa (Three Sisters, Greetings from Tucson, Miss Match, Love Monkey... need I continue?) can be a bad-luck charm for television programs, then do you think she might be able to have the same effect on fashion trends?

Because I'm getting very, very tired of people wearing the exact same clothes to movie premieres and breast-cancer fundraisers that they wore to step-aerobics that morning. Doesn't breast cancer at least merit a shower?

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 03:12 PM in Random Fug
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May 19, 2006

Random Scrolldown Fug

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I'm not a huge fan of feathers, but as dresses go, Corinne Touzet wasn't doing that horribly...

... until it erupted into an outfit ripped from the pages of Bride of Beelzebub magazine.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 05:21 PM in Random Fug
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May 9, 2006

Random Fug

If Google is to be believed, this Kathleen de Leon person is in some kind of band by the name of Hi-5. She is dressed as if it's "High-5." But the nice thing is, if you pull her tassel, the butler shows up and offers you a cocktail.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 11:43 AM in Random Fug
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May 8, 2006

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Amanda Keller is the host of a brilliantly named Aussie TV show called, I kid you not, Mongo Thingo. And that pairing of words -- or "words," since I'm not entirely sure either one actually counts for real in that category -- is the best I can think of to describe this getup. It's both totally mongo and a dreadful thingo. She looks like the star of the new ballet The Dirty Harry Suite, which she costumed by borrowing her father's too-big cowboy boots and pairing it with a funeral petticoat. And I'm not sure what that jolly tableau on her handbag signifies -- perhaps it's an image from the emotional climax of the ballet, in which Dirty Harry defies expectations by creating a literal baseball farm-league and teaching all the local urchins to hit a fastball.

Editor's note: Apparently the show is called Mondo Thingo, not Mongo, which makes more sense. However, in my heart, it will always be Mongo, and it will always drift through my head with the sound of Cleavon Little chirping, "Candygram for Mongo," accompanied by an ensuing image of Amanda Keller turning to the camera lens and saying in a growly man-voice, "Mongo like candy," and, later, "Mongo only pawn in game of life." Because really, that's what the show should have been, and I will now mourn the lost possibilities.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 02:19 PM in Random Fug
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April 6, 2006

Random Fug

Another tragic footless wonder in Hollywood. Don't these actresses realize that if they would just HEM THEIR PANTS, for L. Ron's sake, then perhaps a maker of hot footwear would offer up some freebies to wear on the red carpet in exchange for some namedropping? Is that not worth the $20 investment it requires to stop wearing jeans like they're footie pajamas?

SHOES, ladies. If nothing else, think of the shoes. Although I'll forgive the aforepictured Heather McComb -- a.k.a. Mrs. Dawson Leery -- for lacking this manner of foresight, as it's hard to see much beyond the forehead of her husband.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 11:16 AM in Random Fug
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April 6, 2006

Random Fug

I just don't get the thought process from actress Marie Matiko here:

"What to wear to the Beverly Hills Film Festival? What to wear? What says BEVERLY HILLS?  My DVF cocktail dress? No, no. That flirty little frock I picked up at Marni? No, no, no.  Oh! Of course! I know! My I Dream of Jeannie outfit!  At last, I understand why they keep telling us to invest in a little black harem outfit! It IS perfect for every occasion."

Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 10:57 AM in Random Fug
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