Random Fug

April 21, 2009

Random Fug (To Us): Claire Merry

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I'm sure Claire Merry thought it was really clever to show up to the Star Trek premiere dressed like a potential future super-villain -- or a new genre of love interest, like the Bond Girl of the new franchise. And I guess it worked on some level, because she's all over the Web this morning.

But then again, it also looks like she just didn't realize they already MADE the movie and don't need her unique services. All may not be lost, though -- Merry could make her mark in one of those Designer Imposter mock-off films, like Star Hike or Space Junket, where Captain Tirk and his compadres on the Spacecruiser Entrepreneur -- you know, the famously square-eared Dr. Block, and the Irish technician Blarney -- fight for the purity of the galaxy against enemies like the Stick-Ems and the Morg.

Sure, the actual parody Galaxy Quest did it best, but it used actual good actors so there's plenty of room for one shot on, like, a jiggly hand-held camera and released direct to video -- yes, not even to DVD. They might even have a craft-service table on-set, although it would probably be more like Kraft Service, filled with nothing but a place of individually wrapped cheese squares. So keep aiming high, Claire! You could still live the dream!

March 25, 2009

Random Fug: Isabella Grosso

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pink,
ruffles

Poor lamb.

She learned the hard way that her bedroom valance didn't have QUITE enough material to do the whole dress. That's the problem with taking The Sound of Music too seriously. Sometimes, you just don't have enough in your house to make seven rounds of lederhosen and jumpers. I suppose we're just lucky Isabella didn't turn to using her horizontal blinds out of desperation.

March 24, 2009

Random Fug

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I don't know who this Tiana Silliphant is -- Google suggests she was married to the dude who wrote The Poseidon Adventure -- but she clearly WANTS people to know her.

Why else would she show up to a Broadway opening night dressed like she just broken into Bai Ling's closet? She looks like the bareback rider for an adults-only circus. For an extra $15, she'll twirl your baton.

March 9, 2009

Random Fug (To Us): Shontelle

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It seems Shontelle is a songstress from Barbados who's currently hoping to take the US by storm. Sound familiar? And she's even picking up RiRi's habit of wearing really weird stuff while performing:

This is Rihanna with a taste of Britney, a speck of Katy Perry, a hint of Kate Hudson's sequined wrap, and an overall aura of being the lost Pussycat Doll. I have, after considerable minutes of staring and frowning, decided that I am not hallucinating, and this DOES appear to be a shirt tucked into elastic-waist silken bloomers -- as if she's singing at an overly formal Hollywood pajama party and the fancy boxers secretly say "Happy Panty-Raid-Day, Paris!" on the back.

Evidently, if Wikipedia is to be believed -- and if it isn't, I don't want to know about it -- Shontelle used to be a drill sergeant back in her native Barbados, and I find myself wishing THAT Shontelle would show up and scream the current one out of that outfit. Or at least run up to Paris Hilton at this party I've just invented and scare her into dropping and doing 50 pushups. I would root for that. I would maybe even buy her record if she got someone to take photos.

March 5, 2009

Random Fug (To Us): Gabriella Cilmi

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foreign celebs,
WTF

You know how, whenever we mention the embarrassingly brilliant musical-cinema crapstravaganza From Justin To Kelly, we inevitably end it with a reference to Kelly Clarkson wearing a SKIRT MADE OF TIES? And how it's in caps like that because it's borderline apocalyptic as far as we're concerned?

Well, lock the doors and hide grandma in the closet, because you are hearing horse hooves drumming the Earth in the distance, and those ARE locusts raining down outside your window:

[Photo: WENN.com]

I will give you that this is better, overall, than Kelly Clarkson dancing around on spring break in a skirt made of ties sewn to a denim waist. But it's still A DRESS MADE OF TIES. Seriously, if I'd known years ago that I could just wrap my grandfather's Ugly Tie Rack around myself and hit the town, maybe it would've saved me hours of staring at my closet, hating everything I own. But then again, I probably would've just looked at the pictures later and hated myself, kind of like when I gaze upon my 14-year old self in acid-washed jeans with three decorative denim knots down by the ankles and I think, "Why didn't I SEE? WHY DID NO ONE SEE?" Still, this is even weirder to me. Acid-washed jeans with twee adornments were, at least, in fashion at one point. Necktie dresses? Never. Because they are NECKTIES. And that is a NECKTIE BELT. There's a reason they put the word "neck" in there, people. BECAUSE THEY GO ON YOUR NECK. DO WE REALLY NEED TO TAKE REMEDIAL KINDERGARTEN-LEVEL ANATOMY TODAY? I CANNOT STOP SHOUTING. If I were in Clue, a candlestick would have dropped on my head by now and knocked me out cold.

January 19, 2009

Sundance Random Fug

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This is Chase Masterson, an actress whose name sounds like something you'd name either a dreamy quarterback or a winsome private eye. She apparently was on Deep Space Nine once, and also appeared in both something Wikipedia delicately calls "the 1993 erotic feature Married People, Single Sex," and a low-budg sci-fi thing with Don Swayze. It makes me sad when people are in movies with a Swayze who is not Patrick.

She looks like a nice woman, which is why I wish someone had done girlfriend a solid and told her she wasn't wearing a shirt.

January 19, 2009

NRJ Fug Awards

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I do not know what the NRJ Music Awards actually are -- other than being French, and....involving music -- but I know that any event whose red carpet invokes this expression on Katy Perry's face is A-OK with me:

That's shock with a splash of awe right there. And when you've shocked/awed a woman who has performed dressed as a banana, you've got to be doing something right. Something like this:

Continue reading NRJ Fug Awards.

December 17, 2008

Random Scrolldown Fug: Yennifer Behrens

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My reaction to this when I saw the thumbnail was, "Hmm. Not sure I'd have worn white knee-high boots with that."

[Photo: WENN]

My reaction now that I see it up close, and I understand that they are not boots, is something like, "Holyf**kingsfvkjaerhaghuiqagehT ./asd/atlk.df,.afkfasddashkl."

In case you don't speak fluent Forehead Smacking Keyboard In Abject Agitation, that translates roughly to, "Gee, dingy booties that look like she bought them on eBay from a 1970s-era Dallas Cowboys cheerleader are a very unorthodox choice indeed, especially when you add the double whammy of white knee-socks AND legwarmers. What an unusual person." Forehead Smacking Keyboard in Abject Agitation is a very efficient, expressive language.

December 8, 2008

Random Fug: Emma Snowdon-Jones

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blinged out

Is it just me...

... or is this particular placement of her jewels a TAD on-the-nose?

November 25, 2008

Random Fug: Anna Plunkett

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Anna Plunkett here is an Australian designer. She is wearing a bird.

It is rare that I find myself without words. And yet, here we are.

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Random Fug (To Us): Claire Merry

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Random Fug (To Us): Shontelle

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