Tara Reid

There has been progress, but she's not quite there yet:

dailyceleb2222437vm.jpg[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

Tara Reid, who despite her small stature is of the biggest moving targets in the entertainment industry, has improved. She is wearing a classy dress, for one thing, and her makeup doesn't make her look like she's been hanging out on the benches between J.C. Penney and Champs Sporting Goods, waiting for some eligible young mallrats to swing by and show her the time of her life.

However, the dress... it looks like it's not supposed to swallow her feet, for one thing, and she probably should have gotten it fitted. But I'll leave that mostly alone, because I'm too busy staring at what this garment has done to her breasts.

We here at Go Fug Yourself are not fond of her boob job already, which is no surprise, but the way this dress hangs, Tara's chest looks three times flatter, droopier, and more pendulous than it probably actually is. Take a closer gander. She looks like she's birthed and breast-fed three children. She's... matronly.

So close, Tara. Keep going, though; you've at least made the turn onto Nicole Richie Blvd., heading north toward a less fugly place.

July 6, 2004

American Fug

Tara Reid has officially reached rock bottom. I know, I know, like so many people, I was convinced that the hard partying, the Carson Daly engagement, the sickening pelvis, the dead-end career, and the mascara tracks looked an awful lot like rock bottom, but apparently Ms. Reid one-upped herself -- two-upped herself, technically -- by getting gigantic new breast implants. Because nothing says "Look at me, please, I'm DESPERATE to be treated like a real young star" like heavy-looking implants that seem to be drooping, sagging silicone dumplings.

cb010704b_03.jpg
[Photo: Splash News]

Props -- and at the same time, bitch-slaps, because this chick doesn't need to be encouraged -- to the Scrubs people for trying to make her feel culturally relevant, but even that show couldn't disguise her patent lack of talent, humor, and sex appeal. And then she goes and steps out in public looking like the guest of honor at a roller-disco rave gone wrong.

Can someone please put a mirror in front of this girl's face and show her that she is the senior-class president of Fug Valley High?

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