Unfug It Up Archives

July 9, 2009

Unfug It Up: Emma Watson

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This one is fairly simple, Fug Nation -- or at least I think so -- but I am throwing it open to you anyway. Emma Watson is SO adorable and SO the anti-Lohan that I just want her to knock it out of the proverbial ball park every time; if I happen to be seated eating a hot dog and drinking bad beer out of a plastic cup when she does it, so much the better. Unfortunately, as much as I want to, I can't give this my full endorsement.

[Photo: Splash News]

It's like she wrapped a beach cover-up over a tank top, and then got drunk and went shoe-shopping. I'm not sure how else to explain those -- seriously, they are the color of those kidney-bean-shaped emesis basins that sit in hospital rooms, waiting for you to puke up the Jell-O you just ate. I am a little afraid she borrowed them from Daniel Radcliffe, who is clearly suffering from some kind of head injury that puts him on obedient auto-pilot anytime some dipshit with a toggle shows up at his front door.

The dress part has potential, but it's hard to see it when I'm being blinded by the rest. Clearly, I'd start a makeover with her feet: Avada Kedavra the hell out of those pink bastards and go with one of the chunky strappy sandals that all the kids love these days, or a cute pair of flats -- maybe even gold ones to play off her purse strap. And I'd like to see the dress without the tank, although I do so love Emma in color that I'd long for the chance to see if the polka-dot pattern worked even better in a hue. She's great in blue.

But what would you do? Get out your magic wands and wave them, although be careful if your co-workers are standing behind you trying to peek at what the hell is making you whip your arms around in the air like you just don't care. You don't want to maim anything except what's not working about this outfit.

You know the commenting rules: on-topic, no personal attacks, no Pepsi products, etc. Enjoy!

July 1, 2009

Unfug It Up: Taylor Momsen

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Aw, Little J. I sort of miss you gallivanting about my TV screen on Monday nights, while I am bracing myself for whatever crazy-ass shenanigans are about to happen on One Tree Hill in the next hour. I never thought I'd say that, but complaining about your character's behavior -- and, often, the behavior of the entire Humphrey clan -- truly proved to be a valuable addition to my cardio routine. There's the running, doing the sadistic Santa Monica stairs (on mornings when I want to vomit), and the vigorous complaining about Gossip Girl. I only complain, of course, because I love. And I ALMOST love this:

Personally, I just hate the shoes. I GET the thought process there, and she certainly doesn't have to wear what I would wear with this outfit (something open-toed), but I feel like if you're going to do the cowboy boot thing, wear taller ones. Because these somehow manage to look like she's doing the wall of shame home from a party and couldn't find the shoes she wore out, so she's shuffling to the car in her gentleman caller's shoes. Although I would fug these on a dude, too -- they're just so...clonky looking and not in an awesome way. I mean, go 90s and do the 8-eye Doc Martens here if that's the look you want. Even Converse. Just...not these? You know?

YOU know what to do. Have at it in the comments. Keep it clean!

June 25, 2009

Unfug It Up: Eva Green

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I've recently come to the conclusion that I prefer my Eva Green to look, as she often used to, like a lunatic, sex-starved, consumptive vampiress than....well, this:

BLAAAAAAH. This woman is not particularly interested in draining the blood of the innocent, or interrupting the sleep of the just, or disturbing the dinner of the holy, or stealing the mail of the virgins, or trimming the bangs of the uptight, or anything even REMOTELY sexy and vampiric. And ergo, I have no use for her.

But surely, this can be fixed, no? We can re-interestify her, yes? I'm confident this unfortunate choice is not beyond the powers of the GFY Nation. Work your magic -- nicely, as usual -- in the comments, please!

June 17, 2009

CMT Unfug It Up: Shawn Johnson

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grey,
Oh honey NO

Okay, listen. This girl is an Olympic champion and the winner of Dancing With the Stars, for the sake of sweet little pickles. CAN'T WE DO BETTER BY HER THAN THIS?

Shawn is short and a little stockily-built and THAT IS TOTALLY OKAY. Three quarters of people reading this right now are a little short, a little stocky, and/or both, am I right? Please, tip your waitress. But seriously, folks. A lot of people are built just like Shawn (except without the incredible athleticism, generally) and most of them manage to look very cute indeed on a daily basis, with no professional help. Right? Like you -- right there, with the turkey sandwich. You look adorable in that sweater. Way to go. So this is why I can't understand why whoever is styling Shawn -- America's Sweetheart! -- can't manage to, like, figure it out. Clearly, the empire waist here is an attempt to make her legs look longer, but the top is totally unflattering, the shoes don't match and the colors are so very Elderly Bridesmatron. I just want to grab her and take her to Bloomingdale's and FIX HER, since apparently, her stylist doesn't CARE ENOUGH to do this right. I'd start with making this dress shorter -- knee-length at least --- and give her something with sleeves, say, with a deep v-neck, to elongate things? But what would you do?

Usual Commenting Kindness rules apply, please. Now, TAKE IT AWAY:

June 15, 2009

Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks

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I just seriously do not even know what to do with Mad Men's Christina Hendricks. She looks amazing on the show and then in real life, she looks like this:

Her face, at least, is great -- that is, of course, the saving grace of the majority of celebrities featured herein, that even if they're wearing two potato sacks and a recycling bin, their genetics continue to be kind to them -- but hoo boy, what is up with the rest of this? That length is doing her no favors. Maybe if this dress didn't have long sleeves in addition to the frumpy skirt length it would be a whole different story, but as it is, one of the sexiest women on AMC looks like the major of Dumpsylvania. What would you do to fix her?

Usual commenting requests apply: play nice and share your toys and later we can all have a snack and a nap.

June 12, 2009

Unfug It Up: Bai Ling

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ill-fitting,
yellow

Bai Ling is trying really hard. Like, REALLY hard. You almost never see her in Ed Hardy bra tops and tiny frayed denim skirts any more, which I personally think is a tragedy -- it's like she's keeping her panda sprite in a bottle in the sofa of her psyche, or whatever -- but which clearly is important to her in an effort to be taken seriously as a person who understands what it means to get dressed.

Here is her latest effort, and despite the title of this post, I'm not completely mad at it:

I appreciate the attempt here. I do. She almost looks like she's trying to be a Disney princess -- maybe there's a job open on a cruise line and she's gunning for a few free trips to St. Croix. And It's always nice to see someone trying to work canary yellow, because that's a hue that strikes fear into most people's hearts, although again -- maybe she just heard that cats eat canaries and she was looking for a rough-and-tumble good time. With all the different forces at work within Bai, it's impossible to say. But all in all, whatever the reason, she's trying to work it without being 90 percent naked and I appreciate that.

But here's the thing: I'm pretty sure that dress doesn't fit.

Continue reading Unfug It Up: Bai Ling.

June 10, 2009

Unfug It Up: Heather Graham (And K.Cav)

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No, you are not experiencing fugja vu:

[All photos: WENN.com]

I woke up this morning thinking I'd take a stab at fugging Heather Graham in this dress, which she wore a few days ago, only to find out Kristin Cavallari wore it last night and that her appearance was already in the fug pipeline.

Still, I forged ahead undaunted. Because they don't seem to be EXACTLY the same: Cavallari's appeared to be brown, whereas I think Graham's is fervently putting the "little" in "little black dress." Cavallari's was tighter; Graham's doesn't look stellar on her boobs, either, but at least they have room to breathe and I'm not concerned they're going to explode in protest. K.Cav picked summery, casual beige pumps, but Graham wanted strappier prom shoes. And while Cavallari's looks a little bit more like it's a bundle of safety pins away from being an homage to Elizabeth Hurley's infamous red-carpet debut, Heather's slits look a lot more like they have a backing panel. Because seriously, if that was flesh under those cutouts, we'd be on as intimate terms with her anatomy as her physician.

Graham's is also shorter, I think, which can lead to problems like this one:

Continue reading Unfug It Up: Heather Graham (And K.Cav).

June 1, 2009

Unfug the MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: Lauren Conrad

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So, on her Twitter yesterday, LC here said that the dress she was supposed to wear to the MTV Movie Awards came back from the tailor and didn't fit. I don't know if she managed to make it work, or if this was something she'd held in reserve just in case of tailoring emergencies, or what happened. Either way, I think we can all agree that something isn't quite right:

I've been looking at this for twenty minutes and I am not quite sure how I'd fix it. For me, the ruffly skirt bit reminds me a bit of topiary -- like this is the dress version of a box hedge. And while box hedges are lovely in your garden, they are not necessarily flattering on one's body. If I could wave my magic de-fugging wand over Miss Lauren (last night WAS her final appearance on The Hills, so it seems like she deserves some kind of going-away present), I suspect I would keep this as it is, but find a way to make the skirt look less SQUARE. Because, CONCEPTUALLY, it's sort of fun and flirty, but in practice she looks like she's brought her own tuffet to the party. But hit me with your best shot -- what would you do to fix it?

As always, our usual rules about comments apply: please do continue to keep them clean, on topic, and generally polite. So far, our experiment in occasional commenting has been awesome, so thank you! Now, have at it:

May 26, 2009

Unfug It Up: Robin Wright Penn

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I was going to put this to a poll, but then I wrote myself out of it, which happens occasionally. Because here's the thing. I would be totally fine with this, I think, if it just ended at the bottom of the black miniskirt (conceptually, I mean -- that might be a bit short in practice, but you smell what I'm brewing):

As it is, though, this whole thing reeks of a potent combination of Ice Dancing and Ballroom Dancing, both of which are DELIGHTFUL to observe but maybe a little cheesy to recreate in a scenario in which you actually perform neither of said activities. And yes, I am planning on showing you the front of it -- although I had a hard time tracking down a decent shot of the front, which makes me think Robin Wright Penn here might have scurried down the red carpet concealing her face from the press. Oh, honey. Just because we're all talking about how maybe next time you and Sean Penn decide to get divorced, you ought to keep it to yourselves until the ink is actually dry on the court documents, it doesn't mean we don't want to see what you're wearing.

Continue reading Unfug It Up: Robin Wright Penn.

May 19, 2009

Unfug It Up: Evangeline Lilly at Cannes

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blue,
Cannes

All righty, this one is a bit trickier from a Fantasy Makeover standpoint than the first time we tried this feature, when it generally just involved swapping out some of Rihanna's separates. But to shake things up from the usual "Fug or Fab" approach, we're going to noodle with this one anyway. Ready? OK.

From one angle, I thought maybe I liked Evangeline's outfit:

The top color is quite fetching, and on first glance this seems sleek and streamlined.

But then I saw her strike a pose in it from another angle:

Continue reading Unfug It Up: Evangeline Lilly at Cannes.

Unfug It Up

Unfug It Up: Emma Watson

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Unfug It Up: Taylor Momsen

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Unfug It Up: Eva Green

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CMT Unfug It Up: Shawn Johnson

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Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks

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Unfug It Up: Bai Ling

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Unfug It Up: Heather Graham (And K.Cav)

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Unfug the MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: Lauren Conrad

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Unfug It Up: Robin Wright Penn

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Unfug It Up: Evangeline Lilly at Cannes

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