Well Played

Everything started out so well for Courtney here.

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Great shoes, flattering little black dress, cool leather coat -- there's nothing remarkable here, for sure (although I wouldn't mind borrowing the Loubs and the jacket), except that it feels like Courtney Love needs a bigger pat on the back than most of us just for completing average, everyday tasks -- like successfully getting dressed in something that isn't made of crazy and doesn't look like she got caught in her skivvies chasing the paperboy down the street after he demanded his two-dollar fee in cash and then deliberately hurled the Los Angeles Times through her garage window.

Then the jacket came off:

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If she had just averaged out the sleeves on this dress, it might've looked better -- instead of one long and one absent, it could've been two of moderate length. Yeah, the dress has more interest the way it is -- but on the other hand, her right arm seems to be mourning the death of the chalk slate and one-room schools, while her left is in some kind of sinew contest with Madonna. I'm not sure those messages needed to be mixed in one outfit.

And then somehow -- inexplicably -- this outfit turned into, or ceded ground to, this one:
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[Photo: Splash News]

"Whaaaaat? For ME? You threw a surprise party for little meeeee? I just thought it was a plain old night out on the town! Why ELSE would I be wearing my tile-grout-scrubbling Grecian ball gown and my waffle-making jewelry and my Clean The Toilet Day updo and my diaper-changing makeup and my naptime cleavage?!? CLEARLY I had no IDEA anything like this would happen tonight! Marc, you wiry string bean of mischief! I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALL! Just for that when we go home, you may prick my finger and snack on it! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!"

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MICHAEL PHELPS: Oh, man. Demi Moore is so hot. Her hair is so shiny. Her dress is so pretty. I want to touch her.

DEMI MOORE: I look amazing. All the time! ALL THE TIME!

MICHAEL: She likes younger men, right? She totally does. Maybe she's looking to TRADE YOUNGER. I'm younger, AND I've got FOURTEEN gold medals. I am RAD. I can TOTALLY make this happen. Wait until I point out how easily and swiftly I can save her or any of her family members from drowning! Girls never even think of that until I point it out!

DEMI: I just wish someone would have told Phelps it wouldn't kill him to shave. Maybe I'll have Ashton give him a call. We've always got room for an extra kid at Casa KutcherMooreWillis.
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VENUS WILLIAMS: Dude.

SERENA WILLIAMS: What?

VENUS: This isn't cool, Serena.

SERENA: What are you talking about?

VENUS: You look AMAZING.

SERENA: Thanks! The last few weeks have been AWESOME. I'm really happy!

VENUS: That's what I'm talking about. Right there. That.

SERENA: I'm not following.

VENUS: We had a DEAL.

SERENA: Which deal is that? We have many deals. My favorite is the one with Oreo, with that commercial where we're having that press conference trash-talk-off with the Manning brothers and they're all, "It's on like Donkey Kong." That turned out really well. It's a really cute ad.

VENUS: No. A deal. Between you and me. A sisterly deal.

SERENA: You're going to have to refresh my memory.

VENUS: YOU WON WIMBLEDON THIS YEAR.

SERENA: Wasn't that AWESOME? Well. Maybe not totally for you. But then we won the doubles match! Again! And you won Wimbledon in 2007 AND 2008, so how steamed can you be, really, Venus? We're awesome TOGETHER! I'm just...awesomer this year. That's all.

VENUS: You're being deliberately obtuse. Whoever wins Wimbledon has to wear the caftan. AND YOU LOOK GREAT AND I'M WEARING THE CAFTAN. I'm the LOSER in a CAFTAN and that WAS NOT THE DEAL. And you KNOW IT.

SERENA: But seriously, considering that it's a caftan, you actually look really pretty cute. I mean it. I like that caftan.

VENUS: Then why aren't you WEARING IT?

SERENA: Oh, look, there's Andy Roddick! Gotta go! 

VENUS: I am going to kill her when we get home.


Okay. How cute is Bonnie "Ginny Weasley" Wright?

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I feel so protective of the Harry Potter kids anyway -- I can't help it; I've tried -- that it's a huge relief when they show up for an event without looking like they were styled by someone under the Dark Lord's thrall. Which means I am maybe extra happy to see Ginny Weasley in such a cute, age appropriate, flattering little frock. AND her hair is so pretty and shiny. She can just remind herself of these facts when nutball Harry/Hermione 'shippers throw rocks at her for stealing DanRad from Emma Watson. You know, fictionally speaking. Shiny hair and a cute dress can't solve all your problems, but they CAN make you feel better about some of them.

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MOHAMED AL-FAYED: Thank you for opening the Harrods summer sale for us, Mischa.

MISCHA BARTON: You're welcome! Thanks for validating my continued existence as a celebrity.

MOHAMED: No problem. You look nice today.

MISCHA: Thanks! I clean up okay, still, right?

MOHAMED: Sure. Although....there's something missing.

MISCHA: There is? What?


Hey, remember the time we Unfugged Christina Hendricks?

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She totally listened! Damn, I just love it when a plan comes together.

I think I have a style crush on Marion Cotillard. When she won the Oscar last year, I clearly remember standing in the shower the next morning, washing my hair and thinking to myself, "I REALLY liked her dress." I don't generally do that. Sure, some dresses are memorable -- Nicole Kidman's chartreuse Dior, and the yellow Vera Wang that Michelle Williams wore the year she was nominated for Brokeback Mountain stuck with me -- but usually they go in one eye and out the other, you know? But so far into her Public Enemies press tour, I am loving her wardrobe. Let's investigate, shall we?

Exhibit A:

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Pretty! Don't you want to just twirl around all up in this shit? Whoops. Sorry -- I am watching a TiVoed episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List and the last six sentences I've written have been accidentally overrun with expletives. You should be pretty damn impressed that I managed to get them all out so far.
 
Exhibit B:
So, this is progress, right?

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Our beloved K. Cla has said lots of times that she doesn't work with a stylist, and lots of times, lots of people who LOVE HER and voted for her on Idol like a thousand times even though that was so long ago that you had to actually MAKE A PHONE CALL to do it, read that and sighed and said to themselves, "honey, you NEED one." I suspect she may have taken our advice for this particular event, or the friend she took shopping with her is skilled, because...she looks totally cute, right? This silhouette is very flattering on her. I wish her hair looked a bit more rock star, rather than prom queen, but this is sort of fun and flirty on her and OH MY GOD I'M JUST REALLY RELIEVED IT'S NOT HORRIBLE. Phew. Okay. I just had to let that out. I love Kelly and I want the best for her so every time she leaves the house and I don't have to say to myself, "Oh, KELLY, what are you WEARING?" it's a load off my mind. Now I just have to worry about the quasi-unfortunate scarf-y tube top and too-long jeans she wore to perform in (a photo I could not obtain legally, unfortunately, though you can see it here), the fact that I worry that her voice has sounded sort of raspy-er than usual lately (albeit still good) and WHAT IF SOMETHING IS WRONG I HOPE SHE'S JUST TIRED, and, also, what I myself plan to wear when I see her in concert this summer. I'm thinking tube tops for everyone!

You know, between the satin sleep shorts and the crowns of flowers and all the terrible pants/leggings/tights atrocities Whitney Port has committed over the years, it's easy to forget she's actually a tall drink of water. So presumably she decided to remind us:

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[Photo: WENN.com]

I love this on her -- it's simple and elegant and flattering, three words that I don't believe I've EVER used to describe one of her ensembles. Somewhere, her City rival Olivia Palermo is sitting at home, brushing her hair 200 times in front of her mirror, wondering how easy it is to get away with arson, or whether she can arrange for Whitney to be standing next to Spencer and Heidi at the EXACT moment of their inevitable smiting from on high.

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