Well Played Archives

August 25, 2009

Well Played, Yvonne Strahovski

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We learned from Lynn Collins that this terrible backdrop does nothing any favors. But amazingly, it's not preventing me from deciding I kind of like this outfit:

Yvonne here has been featured on the site only twice, for being togged up like it's a gymnastics prom and for a peekaboo bra incident, and if those incidences have taught us anything it's that a) her taste is unreliable and b) I have a total girl crush on her. So maybe I'm being influenced by that, BUT: How cute is she? This is such an improvement. I love the way the shirt and jacket lie together, I love the casual roll of the sleeve, and I LOVE the bold red shoe.

I admit, I don't always know what to make of floating belts, but this one does at least APPEAR to have the nudity-preventing, cinching purpose of preventing her buttonless top from flying open and announcing her bra size very loudly to the assembled masses. And really, I think that is a victory for every woman, except maybe Lady Gaga. And indeed, not sinking into Gagadom is ANOTHER check mark in the "win" column. Yvonne's racking up points all over the place here. Way to go.

August 14, 2009

Well Played, Fergie/The F.U.G.

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Since I whiffed so badly last week and put up that photo of Fergie that I didn't realize was old, I'm compensating by addressing two of her recent outfits. And yes, I checked the dates. Which is not to say I won't do anything else stupid -- I mean, this morning I put the margarine away in the cupboard. It cannot be long before I'm washing my hair with the toilet duck and making my own leggings from back issues of The New Yorker.

None of which has anything to do with this photo, except perhaps in the sense that Fergie here has NOT made leggings that way (at least, not that we've seen).

In fact, she looks delightful. Yes, okay, that dress reminds me a bit of glowsticks. But I have happy associations with those batons of fun: Last time I basked in their petite radiance, I was in London at a performance of the absurd yet awesome We Will Rock You (because I am a total sucker for all things Queen), and not only had I just had a great time, but I was giggling at the signs outside the theater that pimped the show by saying things like, "The band is amazing," and, "It really reminds you how great Queen was," which have to be the most carefully written compliments in the history of West End reviews.

Bringing my digresion back to its point of origin: Fergie's electric dress here is fun and light-hearted and a pretty intelligent way to clothe herself for an awards show at which teens are choosing things. She doesn't look freakily mature or half-naked, nor did she pick something so precious that it's like she's trying to be 14 again herself. The shoes are wicked with it, and the arm cuff... well, look at it. Stare really hard. Does it not remind you of a metallic Sam the Eagle from The Muppet Show? I love that crabby bird. And so I endorse this outfit, and I thank her for not going the Lady Gaga route and making an accessory out of Sam's ACTUAL head.

I am not as comfortable with Fergie's next choice:

Continue reading Well Played, Fergie/The F.U.G..

August 11, 2009

Teen Choice Awards Well Played: Leighton Meester

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Oh, Leighton, all is forgiven:

You look so pert and adorable in this, I just can't stay mad at you. Aren't you SO RELIEVED?

August 10, 2009

Fug.I. Joe

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beige

Even though Sienna has gone on a full-on charm assault during her press tours, I'm not completely on Team Miller. The whole Balthazar Getty thing -- all that willful frolicking, knowing they were being photographed -- was a little too gross for me. But I have to give credit where credit is due; shady taste in dudes and some tacky half-naked episodes on the prow of a boat don't change the fact that I find myself rather charmed by this:

Would I prefer it wasn't quite such a dingy beige? Maybe. Then again, maybe not: It's not washing her out, thanks to that fancy-pants blood-red lipstick. All told Sienna emits an aura of being a darling bridesmaid from a Jane Austen wedding, presumably one in which there is a haughty groomsman who is infatuated with her sassy intellect and refusal to be impressed with his money, yet aggrieved by her lower social station and off-put by her grasping mother... and then suddenly their mutual lusty loathing turns to curiosity. WITH SEXY RESULTS. Okay, that last bit might be more in the vein of a Pride and Prejudice copycat bodice-ripper by, like, Jane Boston. But you get the gist. I dig it.

August 7, 2009

Well Played, Kirsten Dunst and Demi Moore

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KIRSTEN DUNST: Hey, Demi.

DEMI MOORE: Hey, Kiki.

KIRSTEN: Do we look nice, or what?

DEMI: We do. Of course, I almost always look great.

KIRSTEN: What are you insinuating?

DEMI: Nothing!

KIRSTEN: I KNEW IT. We look totally boring.

DEMI: Speak for yourself! I think we look great. You know, Kirsten, it's okay to look NICE sometimes. You don't have to always be, like, avant-garde. It is okay, now and then, to just comb your hair and put on a cute dress and look pretty. You don't ALWAYS have to set the world on fire. And when it comes to you, I kind of suspect that people are stoked to see you out and about again, no matter what you're wearing. We've kind of missed you lately.

KIRSTEN: Really?

DEMI: Yes. Remember, you used to go out all the time, in all kinds of crazy get-ups? And then you sort of disappeared?

KIRSTEN: Uh, yeah. I was in rehab.

DEMI: Oh. Right.

KIRSTEN: It's cool.

DEMI: Anyway.

KIRSTEN: Yeah.

DEMI: So I shouldn't break the tension here by suggesting we get a drink?

KIRSTEN: Let's just get back to admiring each other's shoes.

DEMI: We really are glad to see you out and about again.

KIRSTEN: I'll drink to that. AND our cute dresses.

DEMI: Cheers!

August 6, 2009

Well Played, Marley Shelton And Fetus

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red

Wow. This is a very pregnant woman.

Rock on, Marley Shelton, for being able to walk the red carpet while you are so actively gestating. Seriously, that has got to be hard. Walking to the car when you're that pregnant is hard. Walking to the bathroom is hard. Walking to the couch so you can sit on it for eight hours in a row is hard. Walking at a slow pace so people can snap photos of you trying not to give birth in the middle of a movie premiere -- in heels, I assume, and formal wear -- has got to be a nightmare. So well played, Marley, and an extra congratulatory thump to your water for not breaking. ... Oops, perhaps not a thump. Maybe more of a friendly hand gesture.

August 4, 2009

Potentially Well Played/Hmm, Maybe Not/What The FUG: Courtney Love

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Everything started out so well for Courtney here.

Great shoes, flattering little black dress, cool leather coat -- there's nothing remarkable here, for sure (although I wouldn't mind borrowing the Loubs and the jacket), except that it feels like Courtney Love needs a bigger pat on the back than most of us just for completing average, everyday tasks -- like successfully getting dressed in something that isn't made of crazy and doesn't look like she got caught in her skivvies chasing the paperboy down the street after he demanded his two-dollar fee in cash and then deliberately hurled the Los Angeles Times through her garage window.

Then the jacket came off:

If she had just averaged out the sleeves on this dress, it might've looked better -- instead of one long and one absent, it could've been two of moderate length. Yeah, the dress has more interest the way it is -- but on the other hand, her right arm seems to be mourning the death of the chalk slate and one-room schools, while her left is in some kind of sinew contest with Madonna. I'm not sure those messages needed to be mixed in one outfit.

And then somehow -- inexplicably -- this outfit turned into, or ceded ground to, this one:

Continue reading Potentially Well Played/Hmm, Maybe Not/What The FUG: Courtney Love.

July 27, 2009

Divaliciously Well Played, J.Lo

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[Photo: Splash News]

"Whaaaaat? For ME? You threw a surprise party for little meeeee? I just thought it was a plain old night out on the town! Why ELSE would I be wearing my tile-grout-scrubbling Grecian ball gown and my waffle-making jewelry and my Clean The Toilet Day updo and my diaper-changing makeup and my naptime cleavage?!? CLEARLY I had no IDEA anything like this would happen tonight! Marc, you wiry string bean of mischief! I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALL! Just for that when we go home, you may prick my finger and snack on it! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!"

July 16, 2009

ESPYs Fug Backstage/Well Played, Demi Moore

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MICHAEL PHELPS: Oh, man. Demi Moore is so hot. Her hair is so shiny. Her dress is so pretty. I want to touch her.

DEMI MOORE: I look amazing. All the time! ALL THE TIME!

MICHAEL: She likes younger men, right? She totally does. Maybe she's looking to TRADE YOUNGER. I'm younger, AND I've got FOURTEEN gold medals. I am RAD. I can TOTALLY make this happen. Wait until I point out how easily and swiftly I can save her or any of her family members from drowning! Girls never even think of that until I point it out!

DEMI: I just wish someone would have told Phelps it wouldn't kill him to shave. Maybe I'll have Ashton give him a call. We've always got room for an extra kid at Casa KutcherMooreWillis.

July 16, 2009

The ESPYS Fug Carpet/Well Played: The Williams Sisters

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VENUS WILLIAMS: Dude.

SERENA WILLIAMS: What?

VENUS: This isn't cool, Serena.

SERENA: What are you talking about?

VENUS: You look AMAZING.

SERENA: Thanks! The last few weeks have been AWESOME. I'm really happy!

VENUS: That's what I'm talking about. Right there. That.

SERENA: I'm not following.

VENUS: We had a DEAL.

SERENA: Which deal is that? We have many deals. My favorite is the one with Oreo, with that commercial where we're having that press conference trash-talk-off with the Manning brothers and they're all, "It's on like Donkey Kong." That turned out really well. It's a really cute ad.

VENUS: No. A deal. Between you and me. A sisterly deal.

SERENA: You're going to have to refresh my memory.

VENUS: YOU WON WIMBLEDON THIS YEAR.

SERENA: Wasn't that AWESOME? Well. Maybe not totally for you. But then we won the doubles match! Again! And you won Wimbledon in 2007 AND 2008, so how steamed can you be, really, Venus? We're awesome TOGETHER! I'm just...awesomer this year. That's all.

VENUS: You're being deliberately obtuse. Whoever wins Wimbledon has to wear the caftan. AND YOU LOOK GREAT AND I'M WEARING THE CAFTAN. I'm the LOSER in a CAFTAN and that WAS NOT THE DEAL. And you KNOW IT.

SERENA: But seriously, considering that it's a caftan, you actually look really pretty cute. I mean it. I like that caftan.

VENUS: Then why aren't you WEARING IT?

SERENA: Oh, look, there's Andy Roddick! Gotta go!

VENUS: I am going to kill her when we get home.

Well Played

Well Played, Yvonne Strahovski

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Well Played, Fergie/The F.U.G.

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Teen Choice Awards Well Played: Leighton Meester

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Fug.I. Joe

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Well Played, Kirsten Dunst and Demi Moore

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Well Played, Marley Shelton And Fetus

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Potentially Well Played/Hmm, Maybe Not/What The FUG: Courtney Love

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Divaliciously Well Played, J.Lo

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ESPYs Fug Backstage/Well Played, Demi Moore

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The ESPYS Fug Carpet/Well Played: The Williams Sisters

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